Looking back
What do I want for the new year, a new decade? I do not make traditional resolutions because I’m sure I’d be in the majority that have already failed by the third week in January. But I do like to mark the end of a year and start of a new one with some reflection on what I want to see.
With all the attention looking back over not just the last year but the last decade, I decided to review my own 2010s, thinking it might provide clues to how the next ten could or should unfold. Perhaps a longer view could reveal a path forward.
What I saw was an amazing decade of roller coaster highs and deep desert lows – from job promotions to marriage; beating cancer and taking awe-inspiring trips; to the devastating losses of loved ones, leaving my job and many days feeling I had no purpose. It was a wild ride.
If I look back honestly over the decade, my most profound accomplishments came from experiences that were not on my list, nowhere near my list and some that I would say were on the never-to-do list. The deep dark lows tested my resolve and pushed me outside my comfort zone, forcing me to find new sources of strength. This is not to say I enjoyed these painful times in my life, but I did stretch and grow as a result. In the end, the unplanned “goals” overshadowed all my desired dreams and other milestones I achieved over the years.
Looking ahead
So if that is the case, how can I set goals for the things I do not know will happen? How can I best set myself up for success if life voids my dreams or renders them unattainable or even unrealistic?
If I learned anything from the last decade it was to let go. To let go and let be. Instead of holding onto perceived safety blankets or pushing away my fears, I learned to embrace the waves of emotion and ride them out. To trust the journey and believe in a higher purpose.
So much of life is dictated by forces outside of our control and as much as we try to reign it in and somehow corral life’s journey into a neat package, it will continue to spill out on the sides and take sharp corners and sometimes dump us over a cliff.
My intention
Goals are good – they set a path forward, and can push us to achieve laudable milestones. But life happens along the way, often way off the path on rocky ground and through thick forests. How we find our way through the detours and downed trees is where we see glimpses of our true selves. When we are forced off our desired path, we can discover a new way forward. The choice is ours. Do we fight and resist and complain about the new route – or do we embrace the adventure of going somewhere new?
I have my “20 for 20” list of things I want to accomplish this year, but I’ve decided my real goal is merely an intention – and simply about being intentional. Choosing how I react to the world around me and being open to whatever the universe puts before me. Hoping I find the grace and courage to accept and embrace the path that unfolds.
Here’s to a new year.
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