You see, I always had this grand plan to provide my daughter with a nurturing home alongside the unwavering support of my loving partner. But as life would have it, it’s been six years since my precious girl came into this world, and things haven’t exactly gone according to plan. It’s not just about what I wanted for her; it’s also about the ideals I had for myself. Reality hit me hard when my beautiful vision shattered before my eyes. Admittedly, adjusting to the life of a single parent hasn’t been a walk in the park. I used to cringe at the mere thought of being labeled as a solo warrior and struggled to believe that life could still be fulfilling without a partner by my side. However, I’ve come to embrace the strength I’ve discovered within myself. Confronting my fears, overcoming seemingly insurmountable odds, and witnessing my daughter’s happiness and growth has given me a whole new perspective.
Just the other day, my daughter had another encounter with the concept of “family” at school. She’s come across it before during her time in daycare and preschool, where they put a lot of emphasis on it. But this time, it hit her differently. Enough time had passed for her to realize that her other parent was absent from her life and that she couldn’t recall him from her own memories. The teacher reached out to me, and my heart broke as she recounted how my daughter became overwhelmed with emotions, feeling like she didn’t have her father around. I was immensely grateful that the teacher paid attention to her emotional cry for help and took the time to explain the idea of a spiritual Father—a loving presence that’s always there, ready to listen. She created a safe space for other children in the class to share their feelings about their absent fathers or mothers, helping Clarisse understand that she wasn’t alone in her situation.
Now, we’re preparing for the upcoming Daddy-Daughter day at school next week. Can you believe Clarisse wants us to wear matching shirts? I offered her the option to opt-out, but she’s genuinely excited about it. Witnessing my daughter handle her circumstances with such maturity—it’s truly inspiring. She acknowledges her emotions, receives support from those around her, explores different perspectives, and gracefully accepts her situation. It’s a testament to her resilience and strength. I can’t even fathom handling it all as gracefully as she does. This real-life example unfolding before my eyes fills me with joy and ignites a renewed determination to wholeheartedly embrace my own life, without viewing solo parenthood as a disadvantage. Sure, there are challenges that come with every situation, but I’m open to recognizing the unique skills I’ll develop through this journey—skills that will undoubtedly benefit me in other aspects of my life as well.
To all the incredible solo moms out there, I want you to know that growth is happening within you, despite the challenges you face. Sometimes it takes time to fully realize or appreciate it, and that’s absolutely okay. So, go ahead and drop a comment sharing any positive changes that have come your way as a result of your situation. I’m here, eager to listen and excited to read your stories!
[1] These concepts come from the PQ® Training Program, by Shirzad Chamine, author of Positive Intelligence. https://www.positiveintelligence.com/
What a wonderful reminder. Clarrisse is a trooper and she has an amazing mother.
Explaining the absence of a parent can be touch but it’s necessary. My son never met his father. He passed away when my son was still a baby. He had to also recognise and accept that his biological daddy will never be around. However, he has been blessed with an amazing bonus Dad. I wholeheartedly agree that in the midst of disappointment there are unseen blessings. Great piece!
Thank you! This is definitely not a situation that I would have hoped for, but now I realize that it can be turned around for good – for all of us!