Hey Boss!
How are you?
Misunderstanding
Misunderstanding often comes from the lack of knowledge. How many times are people hurt or angry because they do not know the whole story? A woman I know has been brought to tears day after day because she thought someone was not caring about their feelings. Why don’t they care, she asked? She thought someone was not being nice to her. But what she just recently found out is that the person was doing their best under the circumstances. They were unemployed. Yep.
So now she feels bad for being so upset. But I tell her don’t beat your self up. It isn’t your fault you were so angry. With the knowledge you had, you had every right to be angry. If you had been told the whole story, you would have known the other person was struggling too.
Tell the whole story and release the tension.
Be aware of how your actions are impacting the lives of other people. If your actions are causing grief for others and you don’t want to do that, then talk. This woman I was helping, told her friend how hurt she was. And yet the friend just let her be hurt and angry with her. I find this baffling. Why would you let someone be hurt? Why would you hurt yourself by having someone be so angry with you?
If you really care about others, don’t let them be hurt. If the woman who was unemployed just told her friend she was unemployed, that would have eased all the tension. They were both feeling frustrated, and that little bit of information would have changed everything.
Relationship Acceptance Training
One of the things that is important to me is to help people work out bad relationships. In the case of the two women in this blog, this could have been resolved really easily. It is my suggestion that they acknowledge the frustration they shared and how unnecessary it was. And move forward as better friends with open communication.
But some relationship issues are a lot more complicated. Some take accepting others as they are. It also takes finding the good in the other person. It takes understanding the other point of view. Why is that so important? Why does that flip them out? What may be nothing to you is huge to them.
The answer lies in what makes them tick. There are 4 survivor needs. When you understand your top need and their top need then you can have understanding and work things out.
If you are in a long term relationship, and have an ongoing battle and would like to resolve it, let me know.
Reconcile. Accept. Together.
Yeah!
Smile for me.
Lisa Y coaching.
www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach