So someone said to me the other day regarding people not liking her, “I’m nice”. She could not understand why people don’t like her because she is nice.
I understand the frustration. I go through that too. I do nice things and it seems no one cares. It is baffling.
The reverse can also be true. Some people who are not nice can have a lot of friends.
That is really frustrating. I know people who are down right mean, but have a lot of friends.
Now don’t get this wrong. Some people do have a lot of friends and are nice at the same time. But they don’t have popularity because they are nice. It is all about personality.
Summary: Being nice does not mean that people will like you and just because some people have a lot of friends it isn’t necessarily because they are nice.
Popularity has more to do with personality than being nice.
Issue One: You are nice and have few friends.
So, if you are nice and have a hard time making friends, what do you do? Well, if you don’t have a lot of charisma, it takes a little more effort.
I suggest you think about something you really enjoy when you interact with others. What makes you come alive? If you are thinking about that, you will be more relaxed and that makes people more charismatic.
I also suggest what I call the Mona Lisa smile. You place the tip of your tongue to the roof of your mouth. I know it sounds strange, but it actually works to make you feel happier and joyful and that will give you a bit more charisma.
Issue Two: Popular people may not be as nice as you think.
As I said before, some popular people are genuinely nice. But some may not be nice. Get to know people before you trust them based on their popularity.
Some people know how to get people to like them. They know just the right thing to say and do to get you to trust them and like them. Then they manipulate others. It may be nothing much or it could be something that turns your life upside down.
I trusted the wrong people a time or two. And my life got messed up and it took a lot of work to make it better. I thought they were nice because they were so personable. So, be careful.
Take care!
Coach
www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach