A couple of weeks ago a shooting in New Zealand. A few days ago arson in California. People are searching for the answer.
Hate.
That is the simple answer. But there is more.
Before I continue, I feel it is necessary to say that I understand what is in the mind of terrorists. It is not because I share their point of view. I am a trained coach. It is my job to understand these things.
I am posting this to bring some light on this situation. I want to bring understanding. I want people to understand so that we as a society can take action that will repair the division we have in society that leads to terrorist attacks specifically on mosques.
There are four basic needs we all have. These are significance, love and connection with others, certainty and uncertainty. These four needs must be filled.
Let us take a look at the four one at a time and what and how the terrorists are trying to fill with the attacks.
Significance: These attacks are to provide a sense of significance. It gives the terrorist a sense of power. In the case of Muslims, they sense a loss of power from the Muslim faith. They sense that Muslims are taking over somehow. They are taking away the value of their own faith if they have one. They are pushing aside their own faith, and they don’t want their faith to be ignored or diminished. It is a sense that it is not acceptable to be a member of their faith anymore. They want their beliefs to be accepted.
Love and Connection: The terrorists want others to feel what they feel. What it is that they want the Muslims feel after the attack is what they feel. They feel scared. They feel on alert. They feel threatened. They want Muslims to feel that too. They don’t know why their values have been attacked in the same way Muslims do not understand either.
Significance and Love and Connection are opposite needs. When you build up one, you build up the other. In this case, by building up significance, the terrorist is wanting to connect with those he attacked.
Uncertainty: This is the need for variety. On the significance end of this, is to bring importance and purpose. On the love and connection end of this is bonding and oneness. When a terrorist attacks a mosque or anything other act of terror, the uncertainty is how will it end? It brings excitement into their life. It is an adventure.
Certainty: This is the need for control and comfort. It is what we do to end the pain in life. On the significance end of this is uniqueness. Doing an act of terror is unique. On the love and connection end of this is sharing and intimacy. This includes togetherness. The terrorist wants to share the pain they have. When a mosque is attacked, the terrorist is attempting to bring survival to their way of life which they see as being lost by the Muslim faith. It is a survival act.
What to do?
As a society, we need to let all know that they are not being pushed aside. We need to show that no one in society is less than any other. We need to make sure all in our society feels safe and secure. We need to make sure that no one loses their rights when we give rights to others. We need to not shame people who have different views.
I hope that this post has brought at least some understanding into the why of the attacks on Muslims. I hope that with at least some understanding, we can move forward to take actions to make all in society feel safe and loved and not to be forgotten. Let us move forward to include all.
Peace.
Coach Lisa