Hello~
Charmed
It seems that some people always win. It seems that some people never have hardships. It seems that for some people things always work out without much effort or emotional pain.
These are the people who really can’t listen to people complain. They will say things like “suck it up”, “relax”, “that’s life”. They don’t understand the struggle other people go through. They do not understand that for some people life can be really hard.
Win all the time is what they do. They think it is natural. Not only do they win all the time, they think it is natural and normal. Doesn’t everyone?
Lose to understand winning
How can someone understand winning unless they lose? If you never lose, you can’t understand what winning is all about. If you never have to overcome, you don’t understand what an accomplishment it is.
Battle of the bulge
When I was 16, 17 years old, I worked in my dad’s weight loss clinic. I could not understand the need to go to a weight loss clinic. Why can’t they just lose weight on their own?, I would wonder. Unless you have struggled to lose weight, you don’t understand how hard it can be. I have a nephew who said it was easy. Just eat less than you burn was his “wisdom”. Yes, it comes down to that, but it is more complicated than that. And when you are a menopausal woman, it is hard. Now, I understand the people who came into the weight loss clinic.
Getting a job
A few years ago when unemployment was high, some people were unemployed for over a year. President Obama put on the pressure to extend unemployment benefits to help people out.
Someone I knew had a job, moved out of state, and within 2 weeks had a brand new job. So, I said something about it to a mutual friend. I said something like “wow, she got a job already.” This other person said, “It’s easy getting a job.” I did not even know what to say. If it were so easy to get a job, why were so many in need?
I have a nephew who can get a job really easily. Getting work for him is easy. Getting work for the women above is easy. For me, it has always been a struggle.
The point is for the other people in this example, they don’t understand what it is to “lose” at the “get a job game”. They have no idea how hard it can be.
Never know how sick you are until feel better
When I was in college, a man I met had kidney disease. He went to dialysis. Then, he got a transplant. He felt great! This is what he said to me, “You never know how sick you are until you feel better.” That statement has stayed with me since about 1981 or 1982.
So again, you can’t really understand winning until you have lost.
I have said it before, and I will say it again. I am not perfect. I am not “charmed”. I know what it is to lose. I know what it is to win. I understand the exhilaration one has once you overcome obstacles.
I understand what it is to feel bad. I understand how it feels to beat “the blues”. I understand what it feels like to have that dark cloud lifted.
Power in complaining
I can relate to more than you can imagine. As someone who is not “charmed”, I can and do listen really well. I can listen to complaining. And a little secret, once you get your complaining out, you feel powerful.
The other day, in session, someone said, “I am in despair.” And in that moment, there was instant relief. The energy it takes to keep your “negative” feelings in is released when you express it. At the moment she uttered those words, that draining energy was released, and she found the energy to focus the energy in a different direction…toward making things better, to healing.
OK friends, I hope this gives you inspiration.
If you need someone to complain to, someone who understands what it is to lose then win, you know where to find me.
Yeah!
Lisa Y life coaching
www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach