Hey Boss!
How are you?
One person a week
So, on 10/8/16 I made it my goal to help one person a week. Not just talk, but help. So far so good.
Sally
So I want to tell you about that one person. She knows I am writing about her right now in case you are wondering, and she is fine with it. For the last few weeks, Sally has been very sad and tormented over the holidays. Should she get together with the “family” or not? She is invited to Thanksgiving and Christmas with her brother in laws family. She does not know them. She feels she “should” go. But, she really does not want to go. Why?
Well, she is very shy. She does not socialize very well. She is concerned that she will feel very tense the whole time. It would be a long drive, and really not worth the trip to be with people she does not even know.
The torment comes from not wanting to go on one side and feeling she “should” on the other.
Shoulds: She does not want to hurt anyone’s feelings. She does not want to hurt the feelings of the people hosting the dinners. She does not want to disappoint her sister. And she does not want to be a “party pooper”.
Not wanting to go: But if she goes then she is not being true to her self.
How I helped
This may not sound like much of a success story. Here is how it is. You see, Sally was going through a lot of very bad feelings. Indecision is a very hard situation. Not making the decision is what makes us crazy. You know what you want to do. But sometimes there is pressure to do one thing when you want to do another.
I got Sally to relax. She got all of her unsorted thoughts out. Then the question, do you want to go? The answer… no. Then came the “buts”. No buts! Then comes the assurance that it is OK to not go.
Sometimes what people really need is to simply be assured that what they want to do is OK.
The Holidays
For Sally, the holidays are to be spent quietly at home. That may not seem like fun or festive to you. It may seem sad to you. But it is what Sally wants. She wants to be at home in peace rather than with people she does not know feeling socially awkward and tense.
Helping Sally to make that decision and to feel good about it to me is a win.
I hope that all of you have the holiday season that makes you happy.
Indecisive?
Do you have something that you are debating? Are you torn? If you want help, you know where to find me. www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach to leave a message.
For more on my coaching, www.lisaycoaching.com
Yeah!
Smile for me!
Lisa Y