Do you ever feel this way?:
Life has made me so quiet. No more talking. No more arguing. No more explaining. I’m tired of noise, of defending myself, of trying to be understood. I crave silence, peace, and stillness. I crave a place where I can simply be without the need for words.
People will say things like “I tried to talk to him/her. They don’t want to talk. HE/she says they are fine”.
When this happens, they think the person struggling with depression does not want help. They do. They don’t want to talk to people who do not understand. They are afraid. They don’t want to be humiliated. They don’t want to be put down. They don’t feel likable. They don’t think they are worthy of being helped. They want someone to lift them up even if they don’t want to admit it.
At least this was my experience when I struggled with depression. So, what do you do if you struggle with depression? You find either someone to talk to who understands or you get a course that you can do yourself. I took the lessons I learned from my life coach training and took it step-by-step to get my own depression under control. This simple system is still only $20. https://lylcoach.lchlegacy.com/
Words can never hurt you?
I have been called dumb things. I have had people say things that were mean. I usually get over it by day’s end. But sometimes someone can say something about you that is so off the mark that you just don’t know how to get over it.
But you can use these harmful words to your advantage. How? I am glad you asked.
If certain words make you feel as if you need to defend yourself, then do that. Get angry if need be. You can rant at home. “That just is not true. I am not like that. You have me all wrong. What do you mean _____? What would make you say such a thing? I am a good person. You have known me for 20 years; how can you say such a stupid thing? Really?” You get the idea. Maybe, just maybe, you need to be insulted to boost yourself up.
I deal with a lot of people who have low self esteem. Maybe if you struggle with low self esteem have someone say something really mean to you. Have them say something you know is not true and really outrageous. Then, defend yourself. Fight. Stand up for yourself. Build yourself up. Really. Do it.
My focus as a life coach is to help people in two different ways. One is to help people who struggle with depression and anxiety. The other is to guide people wanting to grow as a person.
For me, my first need to getting the life I wanted was to stop doing depression. I found the answer while I studied to be a life coach. When I did the diagnosis questions, I understood me. For the first time, I understood me.
From there, I started to find better ways to not be so overwhelmed. I learned to clear my mind of all the confusion. I learned how to control certain thoughts. I let them come, I acknowledged them and then I let them go. Those thoughts of being overwhelmed come up still, but now I control them. I relax. I calm myself down.
After I learned to not struggle with depression, I was ready to achieve. I wanted to build on what I had accomplished. I used certain tools to define my passion. I used certain tools to determine what path I wanted to take in life. What did I want to accomplish? I also used certain tools to know that I am am okay no matter what. I did not have to accomplish great things in life. I just had to go in the direction that was to lead me to my passion.
You can do the same. I am not saying it will always be easy. It more than likely will not always be easy. But any advancement in life, any little bit that makes life better is a worthy goal. It takes time and practice.
My advice to you is to make it fun and that can make it easier.
One of the worst things that was ever said to me was when my very good friend thought my depression was the devil controlling me and my mind. She thought I needed Jesus. This was incredibly stupid. First of all, I already had Jesus. Second, depression is not mental illness and no one has control over your mind but you. Depression is a tool. It is something you use to cope with life issues. It is a habit. Knowing that do you understand that it is something you choose to do? You did not consciously make the decision to start using this tool. You can choose to stop using this tool. You do need to replace it. I did and so can you. https://lylcoach.lchlegacy.com/
When I was in college, I met someone got a kidney transplant. He said to me, “You don’t know how sick you are until you get better”.
That has stuck in my mind ever since. I did depression for nearly 40 years. When I stopped crying every day, stopped being overwhelmingly frustrated, stopped being uncomfortable in public, I knew I was better. I stopped all of that and more by getting my depression under control. I was not sick, but I did struggle with depression. I had become so used to it, that I did not realize how much better I would feel without it. https://lylcoach.lchlegacy.com/
Lesson from a little league team:
These little guys (and gals) played the hand that was dealt to them and they WON!! In the beginning, they had all 9 players, but a few of them needed to leave for another team/tournament at half time… Knowing this was coming, the coach gave us parents the choice to forfeit before the game even started. The majority agreed to PLAY and we SHOWED UP!! The coach knew what he had to do, pushing our team hard in the 1st half to get the score up 3-1. The entire 2nd half consisted of strong defense and we we shut them out, ending the game 3-1. The other team was strong and they out numbered us… they just couldn’t break through our defense and score. To be honest, even if they would’ve killed us 12 to 3, I wouldn’t have changed a thing. There are no guarantees in life, all we can do is show up and do our best. NEVER back down from a challenge and NEVER give up!!
How did I control depression? I took the steps outlined in a simple system that I learned as I studied how to be a life coach. In the first questions, I learned why I was doing it. That changed everything. It was exciting. I use this information every day for my continued self-improvement. I want this for you as well. I want you to get better day after day until you find freedom from the chains of depression
You can YELL from a rooftop: “Hey you I can help you!” And nothing happens. Why? Because no one knows you are talking to them. It isn’t personal.
What is better? Whisper. “You who are going through something right now. You are feeling like this and that. Right? You are feeling alone. You feel the weight of the world on you. I got you. Come here. Sit. Let me be with you until you feel calm and clear headed. Breathe. Don’t fear I am always ready to be by your side.”
I cleaned out my closet this week.
Sounds unexciting, right?
Wrong. It was very exciting because in sorting through clothes I hadn’t worn in over a year, I experienced a mind-blowing revelation:
If it doesn’t work for you, don’t keep it.
We’ve all heard that old saying that “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
I realized I’d been practicing a little insanity by hanging on to my old clothes that didn’t make me feel good because, in the back of my mind, I hoped that one day I’d put them on and NOT feel frumpy and uncomfortable.
That experience in my closet really made me think: How often do we hold on to thoughts/ideas/beliefs/habits that aren’t serving us… in hopes that “someday” they will?
Why not just ditch those old clothes thoughts/ideas/beliefs/habits that don’t work and put on new ones that do work?
