Confused over kindness

Hello~

Helping a  stranger.

So, I wanted to share something with you. The other day a friend of mine called to talk about a problem. This problem involves another person as well. In a nutshell, the other person needs a few bucks to pay for something she broke. If she does not get the money, my friend will be sued. It’s complicated.  I used to have a work relationship with this person, but I don’t really know her. But to keep my friend from being sued, I said I would lend the money to the other lady pay for the broken item.

Why am I telling you this?

The other lady asked my friend why would I do that. Why would I help her? She was confused by my kindness. Yep! She could not believe someone would help her out of a jam.

The point is people should not be confused or suspicious over the kindness of others.

Is this world today?

Have we become so cynical that we don’t trust others who help us? Are we suspicious of people just because they were nice?  Are we always waiting for the catch? Is this woman wondering what I will want in addition to my money back? Frankly, I just want my money back.

What to do.

So, what to do? This is not the world I want to live in. I don’t want people to be looking over their shoulder not trusting others so much. Maybe if people get used to kindness they would get used to it. So, I want to urge you to do even small acts of kindness. It does not take much. And when you do, smile. Nod. And think yes, I made the world a better place.

How can I help you?

I would like to help you in any way that I can (but not financially).  But if you need someone to listen, I am your shoulder to lean on. If you need someone to help you with motivation or problem solving, I am your thinking partner. If you need help with a relationship issue, I am your relationship trainer.

Just leave a message: www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

Take care!

Yeah!

Lisa Yerington, life coach

Smile for me.

 

The Sparrow

Hello~

The Sparrow

So, I just wanted to share this with you. This morning as I went to get my newspaper, I found a small sparrow. He was lying on the side of the driveway. Obviously it was not well. I picked it up and took it to my garage. I made a place for it to rest on top of my washer and dryer. I tried to get water to it, but I could not get it to drink. As I held it’s tiny body, I figured it would not live long. It was breathing heavily, and it closed it’s eyes.

I left it. I wished it would rest and recover. When I returned to check on it maybe an hour later, it had passed. I cried. For the next hour, I felt very sad, and cried a little more.

I care deeply.

Why am I telling you this? Because I want you to understand that I am very caring. A little bird I only “knew” for a couple of hours touched my heart. It does not take long for me to care deeply. If I care about a small sparrow, I care about you.

My wish today.

My wish today is I wish that on some conscious level that little bird knew I cared and that I loved it. What greater way to express love than to want to comfort another living thing when it is dying?

Caring or strange.

Any way, I just wanted to share that with you. You either think I am very caring or very strange for feeling sad for a wild bird.

What can I do for you?

If there is any way that you think I can help you, let me know.  Leave a message: www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

Smile for me.

Lisa Yerington, life coach

 

protest the gangs

Hello~

How are you today? I hope all is well.

Police killing and being killed.

So, tensions are high these days. A cop kills someone. So, someone thinks it is justified to kill a cop. Now, I can understand wanting revenge, but you can’t kill someone for the wrong another person did.  Killing one cop for the actions of another cop is just wrong.

Now don’t get me wrong. I think when a cop kills someone it is tragic. I also think killing a random cop is tragic also. There are so many stories I can’t keep them straight any more.

Protests

Let us talk about the protests. Sure, people have the right to peacefully protest. People should be speaking out and saying hey this is not right. But now I propose a question to you:

Where are all the protestors when there is gang violence?

As terrible and tragic as it is when a cop kills someone, it is nothing compared to all the killings that are done by gangs.

Let’s talk about the death of young black men.

Let us face the facts. More young black men aged 15-34 die from homicide. This is black on black crime. Young black males killing other young black males. My guess, mostly gang and drug related.

“Laws are white man laws. My laws are of the streets”

~This is what a young black man said. This is his life.

Protest the gangs

It is not okay when the police kill people unless they are truly in danger. People should speak out. But stop acting as if it is the police who are killing all the young black men. Young black men are the biggest killers of other young black men. If these lives really matter to you, do something about that. Every time a young man, or woman or innocent bystander is killed because of gangs and drugs, no matter the race,  protest that. Are you willing to go into their neighborhood and protest? Why not?

Do more.

You protested the gangs. Now go one step further. Help just one young black male to have a better life. Bring them into society and off the laws of the street. Help them get work out side of drugs or other illegal activity. Start community programs. Give them better places to hang out. Get them involved in helping others. Help them feel accomplished. If every one who is protesting the killings by cops would focus their attention on the bigger issue, black on black crime, and help just one young person, then you will see real results and not just create more tension.

Not just black men that need help.

So, I have been talking about black men. But hey, be realistic. It isn’t just black men who need help. White men and Mexican men they need help too. And let us not forget about the women who are with these men. Help those nearest you who need help.

Bonus

If we get all these young black men out of their bad situation, and help them be a productive member of society what happens? They are too busy being good they are not up to no good. They are not having run ins with the police. And not getting killed by police. And watch the jail and prison population go down.

Yeah!

Take care now!

lisay, lifecoach

 

Ending world anger

Hello good people!

How are you?

Anger

So, I have to say I am angry at the anger in the world. We are in turmoil. The world is filled with anger. It is wearing on us. I am so tired of it.

Why is there so much anger? We have been sweeping our problems under the rug for too long. Now these problems are emerging.

Violence and Terror

Why is there so much violence? There is a feeling of  powerlessness. We don’t feel we have any control. We feel terror of not having control.

The  world has become a giant tennis match.

We are trying to fight violence with more violence. We are trying to fight anger with anger. It isn’t working.

A police office shoots and kills someone.  What is the response? Violence. Riots. Protests. Now protests may seem like a good thing. But they are not peaceful. The protestors are angry. They are just putting into the world more and more anger. Furthermore, there are those who think some innocent cop should be killed in retaliation. So, someone goes to a protest and kills cops. Well where is that leaving us? More fear for cops then quick to pull out their weapon to shoot, and the whole thing starts again.

Put an end to anger

Anger is not really a bad thing in an of itself. It is natural to get angry sometimes. But it is what we do with anger that matters.

Tips

Stop using the “F” word. That used to be a very disgraceful thing to say. It used to only be done by the trashy people. When did it become so commonplace that it is used by so many? When did it become so every day that we hardly realize how disgusting a word it is. It is an ugly word. It is anger. Stop using it.

Stop giving people the finger. It sort of goes with the above, but not always. It too used to only be done by the riff raff. When did that change? When did that become so common that is at times almost a gesture done as a joke? It is anger. Do you feel happy making that gesture? No. Actually, you may feel more angry.  Stop it!

Stop watching violent movies and listening to violent music. It may seem harmless. But is it? There was a time when an R rated movie was rare and not considered out of the realm of positive entertainment. Now, most movies are R rated. How did that happen? I think for stimulation. People have gotten bored so easily today. But really, is violence the way to go? And violent music. Really, we don’t need to hear about violence and negative things in our music. Some of the music out there is just anger and hate. It is getting into the consciousness of the world.

Stop violent protests. They just promote more anger and hate. They also create the atmosphere for riots and looting. Sure, speak up if you feel the need, but find a peaceful means to do it.

Stop extremely violent sports. Why is fist fighting part of hockey? Well, I think to make it interesting. But really, having people fight in a sport is crazy. Play hockey, but just play. Stop fighting. Stop giving the example that fighting is a way to resolve an issue.

Every day irritants. When every day things create anger, try to control your emotions. I know when the computer freezes it is really frustrating. I know when the plumber is late or charges a lot it is frustrating. When some one makes a bad play at that game you are watching or the official makes a bad call, it is frustrating. But when you feel frustrated ask yourself “so what?”. When I  go to bed tonight will  it still be important? If not, it is not really that important.

Lisa Y. life coach

 

The world is not out of control

“There are dark shadows on the Earth, but it’s lights are stronger in the contrast.” ~Charles Dickens

The world is not out of control. We have allowed ourselves to relinquish control to others. Now, now one is in control. But, we can take the control back.

Climb to Hlidskjalf

A guide to developing spiritual consciousness for world transformation. With increased spiritual consciousness comes harmonious love. Fear and anxiety will disappear and life will become meaningful with fulfillment. To the unenlightened, this will seem to be a fantasy. Yet, progress comes from those who do not take the accepted views not accept the world as it is.

For more information: www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach  or to sign up https://lisayscheduling.com Climb to Hlidskjalf ($20 fee for 20 lessons)

100th Monkey Syndrome. In Japan in 1952, scientists were studying wild monkeys. One day a monkey did something new. She washed a sweet potato before eating it. As time went on, she continued to clean her potatoes. Other monkeys started to wash their potatoes More and more of them cleaned their potatoes. Then, in 1958, when all the monkey’s were doing this, scientists noticed monkeys on other islands were doing it too. Now. there was no connection between the islands, and no monkeys had been transferred to other islands.

One monkey transformed the world. Washing potatoes was a new level of consciousness. When enough of them had accepted it, it spread from one island to another without any physical contact.

The amiable world. For some time now a lot of the world has become amiable. Don’t hurt anyone’s feelings. Avoid conflict of any sort. Give in to the demands of the drivers. But now the amiable have become fed up. They feel imposed upon and exploited.

World tension. We are wrapped up in ourselves. We use iphones to take selfies. Relaxing physically does no good as the mind is centered on you. We have become so tense that our energy and connection with the universe has become blocked.

The external world VS the internal. We have become a population which blames our life circumstances to the external world. Other things are to blame for our problems. Increasingly, people are victims of life’s circumstances. There is a feeling that things happen to us. We lack control.

We need to shift back to the internal world. We need to feel we are in control of our lives. We need to stop being victims. We can rescue the world.

Transform the world from the inside out. When we learn to love others as ourselves, the attention will be focused outwardly. When we learn to treat others as we would like to be treated, attention will be focused outwardly.

We created this world. We can change it. This is the entire principle of life. This is the true direction of man kind. We can create a different state of the world by making change an active part of our daily lives. As we improve our selves, we will improve the world.

If one monkey changed her part of the world, so can we.

“You will only be remembered for two things: the problems you solve or the ones you create. ” ~Mike Murdock

If you want to be part of the answer:

Climb to Hlidskjalf

A guide to developing spiritual consciousness for world transformation. With increased spiritual consciousness comes harmonious love. Fear and anxiety will disappear and life will become meaningful with fulfillment. To the unenlightened, this will seem to be a fantasy. Yet, progress comes from those who do not take the accepted views not accept the world as it is.

For more information: www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach  or to sign up https://lisayscheduling.com Climb to Hlidskjalf ($20 fee for 20 lessons)

www.lisaycoaching.com

Yeah!

How can I help you?

Hey~

How are you?

So, it seems to me that you are here because you are looking for a life coach. Am I wrong? So, my question to you is How can I help you?

I love helping people. I love to listen. I love to see their life from a different perspective. It is really hard to see your own life clearly. It is much easier for someone to see the answers in other people’s lives.

If you need help sorting things out, or to transform your life, it is easier to be guided by having someone listen and question than to just randomly think about it.

So, if you want a friend, a cheerleader, a confidant, or someone who can help you to transform your life, I’m your coach. But in order to help, I have to hear from you. So leave a message at www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach or you can go to my web site www.lisaycoaching.com

OK

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Have a great day. Smile for me.

Yeah!

Someone I helped

Hello~

How are you lovely people? Doing well I hope.

So, I wanted to share a story with you.

The family secret

In a nice, upper middle class neighborhood is a family. She is a school teacher he is a police officer. They have a grown son in his 30s. He has had difficulties with drugs since he was 19. He has been in and out trouble with the law, and in and out of jail.

The husband and wife don’t discuss it. They sweep it under the rug. It is as if  the situation does not even exist. I think it is especially hard on a police officer to have a son getting is so much trouble with the law. As a school teacher, she feels she should have been able to handle this better. As a police officer, he deals with people like his son all day long, and all he can do is ask, why my son?

He talks about it with one buddy. She does not talk about it with anyone. She does not talk to her mother or siblings. They don’t know much of anything. They don’t ask. She does not talk to friends. But she has talked to me.

It happens to everyone.

“It isn’t something you brag about.” That is what she told me. She has kept this secret because it is so embarrassing. Two parents think they have failed. They were not “that kind” of family. If you did not know them, and only heard their story you would think they were some sort of riff raff. Or maybe they were bad parents. You may think they were not around for the son. But nothing could be farther from the truth. This happens to everyone. It can happen to any family from anywhere. Another story I could tell is about a young 30 something young woman who if from one of the most exclusive areas in Orange County, CA.

 A burden on the family.

This has been a terrible burden on the family. These people have two other sons. These young men are outstanding. They are both good and decent. They are both good husbands and fathers.

I listen.

The mother felt so alone. She suffered in silence for years. Until the day we first  talked. We don’t talk much. We do it from time to time. When things get worse, she needs a release. It is still hard for her to talk about it. I don’t force it. But I listen. And sometimes, that is all one can do.

 Have a secret? Feel alone?

If you feel alone, and just have no one else to talk to, I am here. You can think about things all day long, and get no where with it. But talk to someone for 45 – 50 minutes, and you get it off your chest. You clear your mind. A feeling of relief comes over you. You breathe again.

This is why I do what I do.

Want to talk? Let me know. www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach or www.lisaycoaching.com

OK then, until next time.  Smile for me.

Yeah!

Lisa Y. life coach

Migraines, the need they fill and how to fill that need in a positive way.

Hello~

So, let’s get right to it.

Today’s topic is Migraine Headaches.

I had a time in my life when I had headaches all the time. Some times I had your every day headaches. At times, I had cluster headaches. Then I had bad headaches. I don’t know if they were migraine headaches or not, but I know when I had them I wanted to sit in a dark, quiet place until they went away.

As I have been telling you, everything we experience fills a certain need. The need being met is as individual as you are. But headaches, migraines have a pretty common function.

Do you want to stop having migraines?

I have to stop right here and say I am not a medical doctor. There may be a medical reason you have headaches, and you should be examined by a doctor if you think your terrible headache is caused by a medical problem such as a brain tumor.

Now, as LisaY. life coach, here is my perspective of migraines.

For starters, let me say this: Headaches, all headaches from small to extra large are from the  conflict between control/comfort and pain.

There is a need being met.

Often we seek to have pleasure to avoid pain. This is the need for comfort. So, it seems reasonable to believe that migraines, which provide great pain are doing the opposite. Migraines fill the need for uncertainty. You have pain instead of comfort.

Why would you do that?

Pain stops work. It is an excuse not to work. When you have a migraine, you are certainly not going to work or do what activity you are trying to avoid. The migraine is a vehicle to give you a break from that thing that causes you pain. Does that make sense?

People who get migraines.

Let us look into the typical person who gets migraines. They are often sensitive. They feel the pain of the world. They bond/connect with the world. They have a desire to rescue the world.  They focus on others. They work to help others with their problems.

They are so dedicated to human kind. They often are perfectionists. Perfection is security/comfort/control.  They want to do a great job. They do not want to let people down. They don’t want to make mistakes.

Over controlled individuals.

These good people end up being over controlled by someone or something. This someone or something has complete power over them.  What happens when you lose control? You lose security. You feel inferior. This leads to frustration and anger.  When this happens, they lose comfort. What is the opposite of comfort? Pain

Conflict between control/comfort and pain.

Headache brings control, the control others do not have over you.  Migraines break the bond/oneness with others. Now, you no longer are focused on others. You are focused on your own needs. There is certainty in pain. It has a familiar feeling. You may say it is comforting in an odd sort of way. Pain creates uncertainty. How bad? How long? Remember, uncertainty is the opposite of control. So, pain is an escape from being over controlled. It also provides a vehicle to alone time. Does that make sense?

The victim.

So, first migraine sufferers are rescuers. But then they are the opposite. They become the victim. They are the victim of pain, and need to be rescued. You feel terrible, and want people to feel bad for you too. Admit it. We all feel that way when we have a headache. It is fine to feel that way. We all need to feel loved. After all that love they give to the world, this pain is a way to get others to show love and affection to you.

The habit.

Once you get in the habit of migraines, it is hard to break. But like all habits once it no longer meets the need, you will quit the habit.

Empowering Alternative

What need does the migraine meet? Uncertainty. But, losing the vehicle of migraines is uncertainty. Yes, it is the need you want. So, it is reasonable to want to lose the migraines to get what you want, but at a higher level. Make sense?

Uncertain you can stop them? The problem with rescuers is that they don’t know how to take care of themselves, but this is what you need to do. Put focus on your self and your needs. See your own pain. Being so over controlled you are bottled up with frustration. You have bottled up emotions… pain of world, anger over loss of control, inferiority of being under control of someone/something else. As a rescuer, you probably also have guilt for not being there for people when you have a migraine and take time away from the world. Lose the guilt. You don’t have to rescue the world.

Right now you use migraines to release all of that bottled up energy. You need a better release. Options include sports, exercise and hobbies. Take a walk. Ride a bike. Write in a journal. Go bowling. Knit. Swim. Practice Tai Chi or Yoga. Meditate. Let others rescue you. Get a massage or talk it out with a good friend.

Take Care!

Lisa Y. life coach

If I can be of any assistance, let me know.

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach or www.lisaycoaching.com

Yeah! Smile for me!

 

Dogs and cats, our special guides

Hello~

Happy Saturday to you all. How are you today? Busy like me? 10:30 am and I have walked for an hour and worked around the house for 3 hours and have taken almost my 10,000 steps already.

Any way  I just want you to pay attention to your relationship with your pets. I have two large dogs. When I talk to them, I realize that what I say to them I could often say to me.

They are very shy. I can be. I am better, but I still have my moments. I often tell them not to be so scared. I tell them they (the public) won’t hurt you. I tell them settle down it will be OK. I tell them they  are fine. Some one could tell me those same things.

The point is the world is our mirror. If you have a dog or two, pay attention to what you tell them. Now, say it to your self.

Now, how about cats. I have had a few over the years even though I am allergic. They came into my life, and I just could not say no.  Any way, cats are unique creatures. Sometimes they are very loving. The next moment they will scratch and bite, right? They will look at you, seemingly understanding when you tell them not to knock that vase or potted plant over. Then as if to purposely irritate you, they knock it over. No wonder we call it *catitude*.

Personally, I think we all need a little catitude ourselves. Pay attention to the things your cat does. Now, see how you can incorporate that sense of self into your own world. You may step out of your comfort zone a bit but I bet you will get a happy grin on your face. You’re doing it now, aren’t you? I am.

It isn’t just our cats and dogs that guide us. It is every one in our lives. What pushes your buttons? Now, how could you be pushing your own buttons?

Look in the mirror. It is quite eye opening.

Have a great day! Smile for me.

Yeah!

Lisa

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach  www.lisaycoaching.com