Sensitive Soul

You now have the basics of the four necessities. You have the basics of the system. It is time you put it into action. This system is used for any issue that arises in every life. This includes emotional issues, physical issues, and general life issues.

The first thing you need to do is to understand how the four necessities play a part in your life and which is most dominant for you.

To use the system for you, you will need to reference the four necessities. These four items will be the answers to step one. As we go through the steps below, I will use a fictional person. We will call her Kathy.

Step One: Discovery. What do you want? What is the most important thing for you? What drives you? How do you live?

Kathy: The most important thing or that which drives Kathy is financial security. She wants to feel secure knowing that she will be able to pay her bills. She wants a place to live. She wants food. She wants basic clothes. She wants to be able to pay for insurance and electricity and water etc.

How does she live? She lives very conservatively. She saves as much money as possible. She denies herself a lot of the nice things in life. She is very frugal. She wants to make her money last as long as possible.

What does Kathy want? Foundation. This is the sense of certainty and reliability. This is the sense of being at peace with life by having the means to pay her bills.

More questions. What do you want to change? What need do you want to meet on a higher level? What is preventing you from getting that?

Kathy what she wants to change is to find a stable flow of income. She wants to find a way to make a solid and steady income. What is preventing her from getting that? She is too scared to try different things. What need does she want to meet on a higher level? She wants to build a foundation based on a solid income.

7 levels deep exercise: Defining your goal (See earlier lesson on this) This is an exercise to help you to define your goal. Sample answers have been provided to guide you. The answers incorporate the four necessities. Let us assume you want to lose weight.

1. What is important to you about losing weight? I want to lose weight to be skinny. This would make me feel special, unique.

2. Why is it important for you to be skinny? I would feel special. I would have an increased sense of self.

3. Why is it important for you to have an increased sense of self? I don’t think very highly of myself.

4. Why is it important for you to think highly of yourself? To have more confidence.

5. Why is it important for you to have more confidence? So that I can be more at ease around others.

6. Why is it important for you to be more at ease? So that I can have more fun and enjoy life.

7. Why is it important for you to have more fun and enjoy life? To be happier.

Do you see that this person does not want to lose weight as a goal? The goal is to be happier.

Step Two: Motivation. What will you miss out on if you don’t change? How will that be? What good will you obtain when you do change? How will that be? What sort of life will you have if you do not change? How will that be? What sort of life will you have when you do change? How will that be?

Kathy: What will she miss out on if she does not change? She will feel that she can’t afford to buy anything. She will continue to deny herself of just about everything. How will that be? It will be a life of feeling deprived. It will be a life of feeling jealous and envious of everyone who has the things she denies herself of having.

What good will she obtain when she does change? She will gain a sense of security knowing she will not have to deny herself every little thing. She will feel more free. How will that be? It will be a life of pleasure.

Who will she become if she does not change? She will become very bitter and resentful. She will hate other people. She will hate life in general. How will that be? It will be lonely. It will be isolating.

Who will she become when she does change? A woman who enjoys life. A woman who really lives. How will that be? It will be uplifting. It will provide a sense of accomplishment. She will increase her sense of self. She is not a victim of society but rather a warrior.

Step three: Energizing action. What has to happen for you to obtain what you desire? What has to happen to change that from a need to something you have? What actions can you take?

This is where you make a plan for change. You want a plan. You don’t want to just wing it. The problem with winging it is that you don’t know what is working and what is not working. This plan will energize you. Once you really understand what has caused the pain in your life, you understand what it is you really want (one of the four necessities). This helps you to know what direction to take in life. It makes it so much easier to have what you want when you know what you want. You can’t get what you want if you don’t know what you want.

Kathy: What has to happen for her to obtain what she desires? She has to either make enough money that she feels is enough to be able to spend on the non necessities of life. Or she has to review her finances and see if she really has more than she thinks she has and therefore can spend a little more without guilt. As it turns out, Kathy does not make enough money and can’t afford much beyond the basics.

What has to happen to change the need to have? She needs either to find a better line of work which pays more or a side job for some extra cash? Another option would be to find a roommate to help her with expenses.

What actions can she take? She can look into a new career. She can look into going into business for herself. She can look into pet sitting as she really loves pets. She can train dogs on the weekends. She can look for a roommate. She can also consider having foster children, an exchange student or even provide housing for a special needs adult.

Step four: Re-enforcement. This is the stage of practice. This is putting the plan into action. This is where you practice your new mindset. This is practicing the new habits you have created. This is where you take charge of your life.

This is where you have a ready response for anything that may come up that creates a hurdle on your path to your goal. This is where your plan comes into play. A good plan will have you prepared for anything that may come up. You are alert to any action you may be making and reverting to your old ways. Being alert you will be able to stop yourself before you return to the old habits. Having a good plan will provide assurance and help you to relax and be more confident. You will be calm and centered. You will be able to focus.

A good way to re-enforce new habits is to make rituals. Until a new habit becomes automatic it has to be part of a ritual Practice. Practice. Practice. I also support rewarding yourself. Make goals and challenges. As you meet your goals and challenges, give yourself a big pat on the back and anything else, within reason, to say good job.

Step five: Social support. This can be a buddy system. This can be you and a friend making a change together. You can hold each other responsible and accountable for continuing toward the new you. You need someone to lean on.

This could also be working with a mentor. Do you know someone who is already someone who lives the way you want who will tutor you so to speak?

Another option here is to join a group. There are so many groups out there you can more than likely find a support group of like minded people who understand what it is you are going through and who can be supportive.

The System

There are five steps in the system.

Step One: Discovery. This is where you determine what is the most important thing to you. What do you strive to obtain above all else. How does your life revolve around obtaining it? What are you doing to get this? How are you either not obtaining this or obtaining this on a primal level?

Questions to ponder. What is your most basic necessity? What is missing? What would having that mean to you? What is blocking you from taking the necessary steps necessary to obtain that? What actions would help you to obtain this? (Refer back to the 24 questions earlier in the course).

Step Two: Motivation. Weigh a life of pain, numbness, apathy and fear of having the life you are living with a life full of passion and joy. Weigh the life of wanting and needing to having.

Questions to ponder. What will you miss out on if you continue the way you are? How unfortunate will that be? What will you discover when you do change? How great will that be? What sort of life will you have if you stay the way you are? How unfortunate will that be? What sort of life will you have when you change? How great will that be? (See 24 questions earlier in the course)

Step 3: Energizing action. This is where you change your focus from what is missing from your life, the root of your unhappiness, to the solution. What alternative action can you take to get past this hurdle so you can have the life you desire and deserve? This is where you make a plan of action. This is best in small manageable steps. You don’t want to get overwhelmed with the process. Every time you meet a goal reward yourself.

You are currently doing some action which is filling this necessity. What is that? You have some habit that fills that desire. This step has to do with ending your old habit and creating a new and positive habit.

For example, you experience depression. Depression is filling the need for foundation. On a very primal level, you are getting a sense of comfort through depression. It may not seem that way, but you are. Depression is an old habit. In order to get rid of depression, you need an energizing alternative. This could be to take up a new hobby or make a challenge for some sort of personal improvement.

Questions to ponder: What stands between you and your goal? What can you do to take control of the situation so that you can get past the obstacle? What needs to get out of your life? What needs to get into your life? What are the steps you need to take? (Refer to the 24 questions earlier in the course)

Step 4: Re-enforcement. This is practicing the new habit or habits you created in step 3. When you start to practice your old habit, you need to stop yourself. Tell yourself to stop. Once you have stopped the old habit, think through the situation. What am I doing? Why am I doing that? What can I do instead? There should be at least one option available. Have a list of possible actions you can take when you meet certain hurdles. Every time you resist the old habit and practice the new habit reward yourself.

Step 5: Social support. This is where you work with other people. It could be people who have the same sort of hurdles in life or it can be family and friends who are supportive. It could be people you look up to because they are examples of the sort of person you would like to model. They are mentors. In the support system, you will tell these people what your goals are. Tell them what old habits you are trying to break, and what new habits you are trying to make. These are people who will make sure you do not falter. It is important that you be true to yourself in this step. If you are having a difficult time with your new habits, say so. Don’t say “I’m fine” if you are not. You also need to be open to criticism. Don’t think of it as putting you down. Think of it as help.

To consider: I want you to understand that old habits are challenging to break. But you made them and you can break them. They have to be replaced. Most likely you will fall back to your old habits because they are easy for you. That is why you started them in the first place. And it may be emotionally painful at times to continue on with the new habit. Remember that pain is the resistance to a sensation. In this case it is the resistance to the uncertainty of the new way of dealing with life. It is natural to want to resist the feeling of uncertainty. If however you allow yourself to feel the emotional pain and accept it fully, it becomes an intense feeling and you will have a sense of conquering an old low level habit. No matter how many detours or adjustments you have to make in your transition as long as you keep going in the direction of your goal you will meet your destination. If you keep your compass point, you will not get lost. If you want something with all your heart, you will get it.

Remember Hlidskjalf and the view from a very high place? The darkness first resists the dawn. But then the dawn created a whole new day. Your life is like the darkness. You are about to force the dawning. I know there can be resistance to change. You don’t know what to expect. No dream is impossible. Don’t let the fear of the unknown or failure stop you. If you have good social support, they will be there to catch you and push you on your quest to reach Hlidskjalf. Sometimes we have to face our fears to get that we most treasure and desire.

The four basic necessities

I would like to give a brief background on how I created this system. I started my life coach business in 2016. It was not long until I saw a pattern. It became clear that everyone has the same basic human necessities in life. These necessities are the force for all actions we take in life. Everything we do or don’t do, every issue, every problem, every single struggle comes down to these four needs. I know, it makes life seem so simple. But it is true. Depression, anxiety, fear etc. arise when a necessity is either not being filled or is being filled on a more primal level.

When we know how each of these plays a role in our life, it all becomes clear. When we know what is our prime need we really come alive. We can see how it plays a part in everything we do. We can apply it to every aspect of our lives. We can understand other people in our lives like never before. It is really exciting. For the first time in your life, you will feel you can conquer anything.

Why? Well, when you understand your inner drive, you will learn how to transform from the inside out. You will understand the roots or the causes of your circumstances. From this, you will be able to know what actions will get you from where you are to where you want to be.

I know it sounds too simple. But as you learn more in this simple but powerful system you will open a world of wonderful opportunities.

So let me start by telling you what the four basic necessities are. After this, I will show you how to determine how the four basic needs and their role in your life. Then I will show you how you can use them to understand various common life hurdles.

Let’s get started.

The four basic necessities are ego or sense of self, foundation, newness, and love and rapport. These necessities balance each other. Ego balances love. Foundation balances newness. If you have too much emphasis on one, you are often lacking in the opposite necessity. A well balanced person and life has all of these necessities filled. Not only are they filled but they are filled in a positive manner and are well balanced.

Ego or sense of self: This sometimes sounds like a negative thing. It may sound selfish to some. We are taught to be humble. If we want to feel special, some may think we are not being humble. But this is not what ego is all about. It is self esteem. It is self respect. It is a good self image. It is confidence.

It has to do with feeling good about who we are. It has to do with feeling like a worthy human being. It is that quality about us that makes us feel unique. It is that quality that makes us feel special and different. It is that quality that makes us feel we have a purpose. It is that thing in life that feels we deserve a pat on the back. It is what most of us strive to achieve on some level most of our lives. It is that thing we hope we will look back on and we will smile and nod. It is that thing we hope will stand out when people talk about us after we die. To some it may be the legacy they hope to leave behind.

We find sense of self in quite a variety of ways. Now remember it is not only a significant statement but also a unique statement. It can be found in our career. It can be found in our education, good grades and how smart we are. It can be a talent such as music, sports or dancing skills. It can be entertaining like telling jokes or doing imitations. It can be things done for attention such as yelling or just being loud. It can be the way we wear our hair. It can be our clothing or our jewelry. It can be the way we wear our hair. It can be the things we buy such as the latest electronics, cars or homes. It can be that we drink or do drugs or that we don’t drink or do drugs. It can be being skinny or chubby. It can be expressed as anger or hate. It can be expressed in lying. It can be expressed through sarcasm, making fun of other people or being a bully.

Foundation: This has to do with a good foundation for life. This is on what you build your life. It gives your life reliability. It gives peace of mind. It gives ease of life. This includes control and comfort. You are in charge of your life. You have the foundation to be self sufficient over your life. This is what gives us pleasure and to avoid pain. Having certainty in life is having what we need to survive. This would be to have shelter, clothes and food. It is having at least the bare necessities of life. having certainty is having security. This need varies from person to person. For some it may be simply being able to pay the bills from paycheck to paycheck. For some it may be having the ability to pay the bills and having something set aside for a rainy day. For some it may be having more than you can ever use. This last category includes hoarders.

As a side note, people are not “control freaks”. A better term would be “certainty freaks”. People who are very controlling are in reality seeking to be certain about how a situation turns out. They want every situation to turn out for their best needs. They don’t want to be surprised by any results.

Newness: This is the necessity for variety. This is having adventures. This is what we want so as to not get bored. This is trying novelties. This is what keeps life challenging. It brings surprise. It is what brings diversity. It gives us options. This is especially popular with thrill seekers. It is also strong for people who drink to excess with alcohol. It is also strong for those who use drugs. It makes people wonder things such as how long will this feeling last? How high will I get? What is this doing to my body?

Newness fills our need to eliminate boredom. It is why we pace. It is why we fidget. It is why we surf television channels. It is why we multi-task.

It is important to note that it is the lack of newness that brings on so many marital or even relationship issues. It is the main reason for a spouse or even someone we date to cheat. The person who cheats is bored.

Love and rapport: There are three aspects to love and rapport. These are closeness, warmth, togetherness. It has to do with wanting others to feel what we feel. It is that desire to be understood.

Crying is love and connection with the self. Using alcohol and drugs are used as a means of love and connection. They are used to bring pleasure to your self. This is done by providing a good feeling or by numbing away the pain of the world.

Love and rapport has to do with socializing and your ability to fit in with others. It has to do with being alone or loneliness. It has to do with the desire for solitude. It is expressed through empathy. It is expressed by simply listening.

There you have it. There are the four basic necessities. Now let’s determine how they play a role in your life and determine what your prime or guiding necessity is.

Self-knowledge leads to self-confidence. And confidence leads self-discipline. Confidence brings also the sense of being capable. So, let us examine some concepts that will help you to understand you better.

Neither your life nor life in general is out of control. I repeat life is not out of control. It may seem that way, but it is not. When it comes to our own life, if it seems out of control, it is because we have for some reason or another given control over to others. It was not done consciously. It was done as a matter of convenience. It was easier to let someone else be in charge than to deal with things our self. The good news is that you can take back control. Think about Dorothy in the “Wizard of Oz”. She always had the ability to go home, but she just did not know that she could.

Those who feel life is out of control are those who have what is known as an amiable personality. They are friendly. They are the people pleasers. They avoid confrontation. They avoid disagreements They let others have their way. These are the politically correct. Then, they wonder why they always feel imposed upon and used. Why is everyone always taking advantage of me?

Those who feel they have control over their life have what is known as the driver personality. They are demanding. They don’t worry about what others think about them. They do and say what they want. They stand firm and rarely compromise. They usually get everything they want.

In addition to this is what is known as the attribution theory. People who feel their life is out of their control or uncertain do not take responsibility for their own life. External forces dictate the path their life takes. It has to do with how the rest of the world treats them. It has to do with where they live. It has to do with how they were raised.

On the other side of the attribution theory are internal forces that dictate the path of their life. This has a lot to do with your thoughts. It is your attitude. It is the “I got this” attitude. It is the ability to focus on the solution to any issue that arises. It is the “Do it” attitude.

If external factors dictate your life you play the role of the victim. Life is stacked against you. If internal factors dictate your life, you are the rescuer. You save yourself from failure. You save yourself from being controlled.

From this you can see that how you see you is how you view your ability to control your own life. Your whole world revolves around your attitude of who is in charge. When you accept the idea you can change your world and take control, your world will never be the same. Events do not change. It is the perception we take that changes. When we wake up, we evolve. My mom used to say wake up and die right. I think she had something there.

Problems, issues or hurdles in life are a message. They tell us that we are not doing something right. You got off easy street and went down some bumpy dirt road. Being able to overcome these things is not what you do it is what you expect in life. It is important that we expect life to be happy. Change your attitude and your life changes. To some of you this may seem too simple. I get that. I used to hear people say things like happiness is a choice. Or all you have to do is have a positive attitude and I rolled my eyes. The reason this is hard for some to accept is that they make some progress in changing their attitude and then it stops. This happens because they don’t accept the world as it is. They are still stuck on the external forces as what makes the world go around. They have not accepted their own power.

The more time you spend going down the bumpy road of life we turn inward. We become tense. We look at those external factors to try to determine where it all went wrong. We examine our childhood. We examine our environment. We examine the choices we made. We look for missed opportunities. Then we think about the uncertainty of the future. Will things get worse? Do people think I am stupid? Am I wasting my life? All this thinking clutters the mind. Everything gets confused. Stress takes its toll. And then it gets worse. The focus is now on the bumpy road and not on how to back on easy street. What to do?

The mind needs to relax. But it can’t relax when all this focus is on the self. Focus outward. Focus on others. Focus on the world. Remember, it is not what we do that matters as much as what we expect. The key is to build up harmonious love. Learn to love the world and the beauty and joy that it has to offer. Look to those who have this, you will lose your fear and anxiety. You will embrace the possibilities. Your life will become meaningful.

My grandma used to say don’t want for too much or you will be disappointed. Now it is not to say that you should not expect good things in life. What I am saying is that wanting is lacking and you feel unfulfilled. It is important to change your thoughts from need to have. Think about all you have. It is more than you think. When you stop thinking about what you lack and focus on what you have, you will begin to receive. Good things will start coming into your life. Here is one last thought. Every blessing ignored is a lost treasure.

Transformation

To become spiritually lifted requires transformation. This is transformation from the inside out. As more and more of us transform on the individual level, the world will transform as well.

From birth to death, we have a life time of learning. But what if this life time of learning has not taught us how to live spiritually? Then, we need to start over. We need to go back to the basics. We need to be reborn. As a baby learns to walk and talk, we will learn how to be more spiritual.

It will be challenging at first. As a baby learns to walk by falling down, we too falter in our learning to climb to Hlidskjalf. This will make many feel ignorant. uncertain and unsure. But I will be with you to catch you and help you to get back on your feet. As a baby eventually learns to walk, so will you make it to the top; you will make it to Hlidskjalf.

As the baby learns to trust himself in learning to walk, you need to learn to trust yourself in your quest to transform. The more you learn to trust yourself the closer you will get to forcing the dawning. As you go along, your energy will grow. Others in your life will benefit from your transformation. They too will transform.

I urge you to make the commitment at this time. Commit to transformation. Commit to being the best and most spiritual being you can be. Take a vow, “I am willing to learn to trust and follow my own inner truth, knowing that as I do, I will release the pain and fear within me and thus heal the pain and fears of the world.”

This vow is very powerful. Remember a good teacher will be demanding of you. And that is what I am doing by having you make this vow. For to commit to this vow is not an easy task. It will require that you be frank with yourself. You need to accept your good assets and all your weaknesses. You have to be willing to dig deep into your consciousness and your soul. You will find what motivates you and what fears stop you. But these fears will be erased. You will learn to overcome and replace them with positive thoughts.

It takes digging deeper into your consciousness to discover the source of your problems. You will take responsibility for your fears. You will be willing and able and ready to deal with them. Once this is discovered, you can focus on the answer rather than on the issue. You will open a world of opportunity. You will open a world of positive actions. These new actions will be powerful and effective.

As your way of thinking changes, your whole world changes. As you lose fear, you will feel more powerful. The more powerful you feel, the more fear you will lose. Others will be drawn to your new found powerful energy. They too will lose their fears and become stronger beings.

As you progress, you will see yourself in a different light. Then you will see the world in a different light. You will recognize that how you once saw you and the world was distorted. This distorted view came from all the fears and uncertainty for the future. Your life and the world had become such a scary place that you were not willing to look at it, but as you progress you will see it is not so bad. And solutions for a better you and a better world will be revealed. As this is happens you are getting closer and closer to forcing the dawning.

And when all is said and done, you will find you have succeeded in your quest to climb to Hlidskjalf where the view is spectacular.

Dawning

The world seems to be changing. For many people these are distressing times. The future seems uncertain. People today don’t seem to ever have enough. They want new and improved. We seek more and more. But is it material goods we seek or is it something else? Is it in truth more spirituality we seek?

There seems to be a trend for an increased disconnect between people. We interact more and more on social media. We stay home and order just about anything online and have it delivered. More and more people are feeling empty, alone, lost. We turn to gadgets to fill the need.

We see the darkness and seek the light. But the light is there. Look at it this way. When you turn on a light in your home during daylight hours, you hardly notice. But as the evening falls and the sun goes down, we notice the light more. It has been on the whole time, but it is not noticed until the darkness came. What we need is a dawning.

I would like to introduce you to Hlidskjalf. This is the throne of Odin, chief of the Norse Gods. It was the throne from which he could see all the world at once. As such, it is a very high place. It is a place worth visiting.

If you have ever viewed the dawn from a very high place you know that the night first resists the dawn seemingly unwilling to allow the light to expose the world. As it first peers over the horizon, the sun seems to shine directly on you, brightening a narrow band of the world before you. As the sun rises, more and more of what lies on either side of that band is illuminated. And the dawn becomes a day. Becoming spiritually lifted is like a dawning. In the beginning everyone mires around in darkness. Then through the labor of spiritual study, a rush of insight brightens a field of knowledge.

You will become spiritually lifted only if you force the dawning. But to do that you need the help of certain teachers.

How are you to identify these teachers? They are not found in any one place. They are sprinkled everywhere. They are not those who entertain, though some are entertaining. They are not those who present well organized speeches, though some of them do. You will not identify these teachers by their lifestyle. Rather, you will identify them by what and how they get you to learn. These are teachers who are interested in more than their field of expertise. These are teachers who demand you theorize, that you create understanding, and these are teachers who will show you how to do all that.

Becoming spiritually lifted is a difficult task. This kind of learning is difficult to teach, but you must demand it of your teachers. This kind of learning is difficult to attain, but you must demand it of yourself. It requires great effort from all; it is demanding and exacting.

Your knowledge will expand, but it will become less certain; you will become restless, inquiring. Easy assumptions and comfortable prejudices will be challenged by doubt and concern. Conformist opinion will begin to be replaced by unpopular belief, apathy by principled action.

I urge each of you to make the climb to Hlidskjalf. The climb to Hlidskjalf is long and arduous. The risks of the climb are many. But the climb is exhilarating, and the view is spectacular.

From my book: “Come Into Your Power

The beginning of my journey. I have, at least since I was four years of age, been a deep thinker. I can remember the day I realized this. I was a four year old playing in the dirt of the back yard. I saw my mom come out to take a photo. I decided at the age of four that I wanted her to capture the “real” me. So I posed for the camera in what I call the thinker pose. I put my hand to my face to show that I was deep in thought.
After college, my mom and I started getting interested in New Age teachings. I have studied this line of thinking ever since. So for forty years now, I have studied New Age thinking. I have studied various thoughts on what motivates people. I sought to discover the inner drive that gets people to act. I sought to understand what makes some people succeed in life and what makes some people seem to be unable to accomplish much of anything.
What makes the difference in people? Why do some people seem to have such a blessed and happy life? Why do others seem to have the opposite experience? This is what I sought to discover. The big question for me was why is life so easy for some and so hard for others?
It isn’t because good things happen to good people. There are millions of good people who just can’t quite get life going in the right direction no matter how hard they try. These people can try and fail more than those who have made a good life for them.
Then I sought to understand why some people can get over hard times easily while others hold on to them for decades.
I had a personal reason for wanting the answers. From the age of sixteen, I had struggled with depression. I grew up as an only child. Well, I do have an older half sister and half brother. We had the same dad from his marriage before he was married to my mom. But, I grew up as an only child. I never had too many friends. I was always socially awkward. I never really knew how to fit in. I always felt invisible. I felt alone. I guess that at sixteen I had some sort of teenager issues that were the triggers for doing depression.
Even in college I struggled. This was a small college. I would guess that there were in the neighborhood of say 2,000 students. I had more friends. I felt I fit in. I felt I belonged. But still, I felt left out. I did not understand why. I loved college. If I had the means, I would have made going to college my career. I wanted to study just about everything. The one thing I did not want to study was computers. I had no idea in 1981-1985 that computers were a big deal. Who knew? My dad did. I should have listened. But in college still I would cry on a regular basis because I was so unhappy in general.
From that time on, I struggled. Life was so hard for me. I went from one crap job to another. I had a string of temporary jobs. It was embarrassing. I had a college degree. I thought I should be a success in my career and my life. The problem was that I never pursued the right things. I worked hard. I thought that was all it took for success. It has only been in the last few years that I finally understood that it takes effective hard work to have success. You have to take the right actions or you will not be successful.
This lack of career made me feel like a failure. I also had that social awkward thing going on. I lacked friends. I lacked a love life. I felt alone. As time went on, nothing changed. I would wonder what was wrong with me? Why can’t I do anything right? I tried more than others. I tried and failed at more things than most people will ever try. So, it was not as if I did not try. I tried and failed then tried again.
It was not a bad attitude. I started to have a bad attitude from failing so many times, but it did not stop me from trying again. I know a lot of people thought I had a negative attitude. If I could read their minds, I think I would hear if only I had a positive attitude things would work out. What they did not understand was that it was not a bad attitude that brought failure, but a bad life experience that brought the bad attitude or a bad mood. I had an incredible positive attitude. I thought I could move mountains. I also had and incredible amount of self confidence. It was this sense of self confidence that caused so much grief in my life. I continued to try to do things I was not able to do.
What I discovered is that people really are not all that different. We all want the same things. It is how we go about filling our necessities of life that is different. There are four basic necessities. We each have a dominate necessity. This is our inner drive. This is what motivates us in everything in our life. When we understand what this is for us, o world of opportunity opens up. When we understand this, we can learn to recognize the patterns of our lives that cause the hurdles of life. As we learn to recognize the pattern of decisions that cause our heart to ache, we can stop making the wrong decisions before we cause a hurdle. We can take a different course of action and save ourselves from those things that bring us grief.
How do we discover what makes us tick? How do we discover our inner drive? We have to turn inward. We have to be honest with what we truly value. What is important to us? What one thing do we want above all else? If you can only have one thing, what would it be?
I understand that discovering the truth abut what you really want can be a scary thought for some people. I think that some people sense that they have to be the “normal” people. We don’t want to be different. If we think that what we want is “negative” we deny it. But really what it is you desire and value most is okay. We all want basically the same things. What you value is just fine. Trust in yourself. Believe in your goodness.
For me, when I discovered the answers for me, it was so exciting. Everything became clear. I applied my discovery to everything in my life. I finally understood my social skills issues. I understood my business or career issues. I understood why I lost at the casino. I understood my battle with weight. I understood why some people treated me like crap. I understood why change was so hard for me. I understood why I had such a hard time letting go of the crap in my life. I used this knowledge to understand other people. I could understand why they were the way they were.
Before I discovered the truth about me, it was like living in the dark. Then, the light came on. As a friend of mine would say, it was like a spitball from God right between the eyes.
I went from feeling hopeless to hopeful. It was pure elation. Things do not happen to us. We make things happen. We create our world. It gave me a sense of being freed from the chains that were holding me back. I became free. The more you experience the incredible new life the more goodness you create.
Now when things happen or even when they don’t I can see the connection between the one action and another. I can see the if…then connection. I can see how one little thing can make so much difference in life. If we overlook something, everything changes. I have noticed miracles. Things I thought were impossible suddenly became possible. As you continue to grow, you will see what direction your life should take for best results. If you are feeling doubtful about this, I understand. I too felt that way. But that changed when I understood what makes my entire life tick.
Having knowledge and understanding however is not enough. As with anything else, it takes practice. I have to practice and reinforce my new way of thinking all the time. From time to time, I have to stop myself and say hey what are you doing? Stop that action right now or you will cause grief to pop into your life. I have to remind myself, to remember the last time I did that and it caused you to feel pain. But understanding what I am doing and being able to prevent issues in my life is better than not understanding and feeling lost and alone.
The world is ever changing. We have to learn to change with it. If we do not change from time to time, we get lost in our past. Life is like a river. It flows. If we go against the current, we struggle. If we go with the current, we float along. We all have ways of doing things that are familiar to us. We have ways of doing things that are a comfortable way because we know what to expect. But holding on to these things keep us from growing and improving. We need to constantly let go of our old ways in order to go forward. As grandma used to say, “We can’t go forward looking in the rear view mirror.”
As my study continued, I saw patterns of thought. I saw the same message everywhere. There were different words, but the ideas were the same. Then I sorted the different words and put them together to form a concise system of understanding the issues that we face and how to resolve them.
As I started my work as a life coach, it quickly became obvious that every problem, and I mean every problem. was solved with this simple yet powerful system. Like any life coach, I want to help everyone. I realized that a book outlining this system would benefit anyone who sought to get past their hurdles. And this is how a book is born.
I hope you find your special answers. Have hope. Have faith. You deserve a better way of life. I know a lot of people read a book thinking maybe it will help. As you read this book, I want you to remember that I struggled with life for many years. I have experienced many of the same feelings that most of you have experienced. You can turn your life around.

My 90 item course is now available for free. It is designed for any need you may have. It is the same method that helped me.

Not all 90 items are posted, but they will be. The course is designed to be one item a day. I am a little ahead of schedule. All 90 items will be posted.

You can find it at facebook.com/depressionditchers

Yes, it is a page for depression but the course is not specifically for depression.

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Question: When you get to the end of the road, and you spend lots of time on your porch in a rocking chair, will you be satisfied? Will you say to yourself that you enjoyed your life? OR Will you still be struggling with depression?
It is your life. You are free to live it anyway you want. For me, I want to sit and rock on the porch and be glad that I ditched depression. I will wish that I could have helped more people than I have. You can’t help everyone. People like me, we want others to heal more than they do. You can lead people to help, but you can’t make them get the help.
As I close this chapter in my life, I want you to know that I love you. I care about you. I wish you well.

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Simon says it is time for change. Simon wishes that you would make the effort to ditch depression. Simon knows that it is a challenge. But it is not impossible.
I did it. How I did it is in a course called Come Into Your Power. You can find it here: https://lylcoach.lchlegacy.com/