Resolutions in 3 easy steps

Happy New Year!!!

So, it’s resolution time.

There is a simple approach to meeting these resolutions.

Step 1: What do you want? 

It is not to lose weight. It is not to exercise more. It is not to fall in love. It is not to have a better job. It is not anything else you may list.

These things are the vehicles to getting what you really want.

So, what do you want? What motivates you? Well, I don’t specifically know without talking to you. But I can tell you it is one of 4 survival needs.

Step 2: Make a plan.

This is finding a way to meet your goal on a higher level. If, for example, your vehicle right now is being over weight, and you want to change your vehicle to losing weight, then you make that plan on how to do that.

Part of the solution is to understanding your need. This gives you the motivation you need to change habits and break the “addiction” (bad habits) you have.

Step 3: Break big goal into smaller goals.

Let us use losing weight as a goal. Let us use 20 pounds as the magic number. Don’t start the year off thinking I want to lose 20 pounds by the end of May. OK so that is 20 pounds in 5 months. That is a goal that is not unreasonable if you break it down over 5 months, but if you think about it as 20 pounds it may be discouraging.

Break any resolution into smaller goals. Start with just 2 or 3 pounds. As you meet your goal, say “another 2 or 3 pounds” And before you know it, you will meet your goal.

Rule of thumb: Break the goal into 10 parts. So, for the losing 20 pound plan, break that 20 pounds into 2 pounds.

One day at a time: Live in the moment. Don’t think I have to do this the next 365 days. That can be discouraging. Instead, say “Today I will eat less.” or “Today I will go to the gym.” Or “Today I will ______”. Then tomorrow repeat. 

Smaller goals and meeting that goal one day at a time, make the goal more manageable. And you build momentum. You feel accomplished, unstoppable.

Slip up?

OK. Look, you may very well be changing a habit you have had for years. Just remind yourself what it is you want. What motivates you. And you will be motivated to work toward that goal today.

HAVE A GREAT NEW YEAR!

Lisa Y coaching

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

 

Wounds Heal

A Letter to the Wounded

For most of us there will times in our lives that are difficult or hurtful in some way.
We may, for instance, have lost a loved one, be diagnosed with a serious illness, be painfully lonely and lost.
Our reactions to these events will to some extent be dependent on our individual strengths and resources.
Many people will become somewhat depressed / anxious due to the radical change in their circumstances. It is not unusual to have this adjustment reaction.
However, for many it can be severe and prolonged causing intense emotional pain and giving rise to physical and psychological symptoms.
We can become trapped in our own mental prison, in a constant cycle of negative and self depreciative thoughts which self perpetuate.
This mindset can colour all that we perceive around us.
We can feel helpless, weak and vulnerable to any intrusion from the outside world which is why many hide themselves away, both physically and emotionally.

The future may seem bleak and intimidating , the present moment may be filled with fear and dread.
At our lowest ebb, it seems life becomes a living, dark nightmare from which escape is impossible.
We lose perspective and forget what life can hold for us

Did you forget the radiant sunrise at the dawn of the day?
Did you forget the gleeful looks of your loved ones when you entered the room?
Did you forget the powerful roar of ocean waves as they are thrown ashore?
Did you forget Nature’s seasonal masterpieces?
The crystal like frost of Winter,
The gentle awakening and resurrection of the flora and fauna in Springtime.
The warm Summer sun giving rise to the fruition of Gaia herself as she manifests at her zenith.

The subtle encroachment of Autumn as the leaves colours become almost iridescent and the cool, damp chill of the morning air.

No matter how wounded we are we can still experience the wonders of our world.
We can still get excited about an impending celebration.
We can still stare in awe at the Moon in the pitch black night sky.
We can still cherish the love of other humans and animals.
We can still discover new and life changing experiences providing we are open to them.
By their very nature wounds heal.
It may take time depending on the severity but it will.
The deeper wounds may leave scars.
Scarred skin is more resilient and tougher than skin that has not been wounded.

So if you are sitting there in your darkest night of your soul, unable to see the way forward.
Rest assured that if you have patience and give yourself the opportunity, this time will pass.
You will learn from this experience as your life begins to improve.
For if ever it happens again, you will know that you can again triumph and win your life back.

Lisa Y coaching, www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

 

 

Peace 365

Merry Christmas!

This is a time of year where more than one religion celebrates life. We celebrate peace, love, and good will toward all. Today is a day that I am over come with the desire to wave at the cars and the people going by my house. I want to see children playing with new toys, bicycles and scooters.

My question is why does it have to end?

A Christmas Carol stopped the war for one night.

You may be familiar with the story of how during the World War I on Christmas Eve, the Christmas carol “Silent Night” stopped the fighting. Soldiers from both sides sat together. The ate together. They drank together. They sang “Silent Night” in both English and German. Then the next day, back to fighting.

OK so, I can understand that. They had a job to do. Being soldiers, they had to fight the enemy.

But what is our excuse?

Peace 365

Why can’t we be peaceful every day? Why do we, like the soldiers on that cold Christmas Eve back in 1914, feel peace in our hearts for a short time then go back to fighting? Frankly, some people just don’t want peace I guess. But that does not have to stop the rest of us.

What changes?

Why do we have so much love this month and it fades away. Now, don’t get me wrong. It does not disappear completely. We still care about others the rest of the year, but it is not the same, is it?

To me, it should me easier the rest of the year because we are not running around in so many directions. We are not getting pushed and shoved around at the mall. We are not wrapping gifts. We are not planning special dinners.

One day at a time

Here is my idea. Let us each morning get up and say to ourselves, “I will live  today as if it were Christmas, Hanukkah or any other day of peace.”

Let us try to keep the peace going. Let us not be like those soldiers all those years ago. Let us not have one big day of peace and then back to fighting.

Yes! This is a bit corny. But hey, it’s Christmas.

Peace.

Lisa Y. coaching

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

Go ahead and eat the potato chips

Hey~

Well, the holiday season is moving along. It is a time of year when we get out of our normal routines. We don’t get to the gym as much. We shop more. We have gifts to wrap. Some have lights to hang and trees to trim. And if you live where there is snow, there are snow angels and snow men or women to make. If you are creative, there may be some ginger bread houses to build. It is also the time for holiday baking.

Holiday foods.

Aside from fruit cakes, there are all sorts of cookies, pies, fudge and other treats. We have chips and dip. Now today I saw an article about how you can eat more healthy snacks with your dip. Look, I love vegetables with dip. I also love chips with dip. I say, if you want to go a little crazy and have chips with your dip go for it! Come on, it is the holiday season. I think it is the time of year when you go off your regular food.

Change in routine includes food.

You go off your normal routine. You go off your normal eating habits. The holiday eating habits should probably not be followed all year. But, it is a time of year when we treat ourselves a little. Yes, you may feel a bit bad when you get on the scale on January 2nd, but it isn’t something you can’t deal with, right?

Allow yourself to eat a little naughty. Give yourself permission. You have 6 months until summer. If you gain 10 pounds in November and December, you have 150 days to lose that. That’s nothing. When you get back normal eating and back  to the gym, you could lose all that weight in January. Don’t worry.

So, go a little crazy, and have those chips with the dip.

Yeah!

OK I have taken enough of your time. Talk to you soon.

Lisa Y life coach.

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

 

Capability for greatness

From the Creator:

Yes, my child I am the universe, the plants, the trees, the air and the wind. I am also you my child. If you believe, as you do, that I hold the power to create life, and all that is, then why my child would you not believe you hold the same strength within you?

I made you. I built you…..every fiber of your being I know…every hair on your head I have counted….every breath you take I know and feel.

And when the time comes that the physical human body you have been traveling in on the earth plane no longer serves you, I will also know and feel when it passes. And with great joy, welcome your spirit back to become one with me again and again.

You see my child  I am know of all that exists. I indeed know when you are feeling unworthy of the very greatness that you were created with. If you believe that I have built this magnificent machine from the blood, cells, bones, skin and stand in awe of how it works. Then why may I ask do you not believe you are capable of greatness?

I am greatness….yet you are not I ask?

How can that be?

We. You and I are two halves of a whole. How can half of the whole not be as worthy, beautiful, smart and powerful as the other half?

Why do you deny me?

The Creator of all that is to be left here as a half.

Why do you insist on carrying your burdens on your own? It is as if you are the car and I am the motor, the car does not run or move forward without a motor, correct? I see you get out and try pushing the car and it rolls a while and you quickly get in the driver seat only to come to a slow halt….again.

You sit the bewildered as you observe cars of all shapes and sizes whizzing past you honking and waving as they pass by.

WHAT? Whhhhhaaaaaatttttt……

You get out of you jalopy and try changing the tires. You only have 3 tires. Oh well, you think, 3 is better than the ones that are on the ole girl now as you again try to pull onto the highway. Only to realize the tire you did no replace is now flat.
You hang your head to cry as you just give up and lie down in the front seat of the car.

Why my child? Why?

I am right here.
I am not the “tow” truck….I am the engine of your car. I am “your” energy.

I AM YOU!

Why do you insist on driving a jalopy when I have a private jet waiting on you, all fueled up ready to take you anywhere your heart desire.

Ha..ah!

There is the answer!
Your heart!
Have you checked it recently? Go ahead. Put your hand on your heart. I will wait.
No really. Do it. Feel it. Listen to it with your hand. Listen very close. Breathe deep and listen a little longer.

Go into your mind as you are listening to your heart. I’ll bet you are being shown a happy time in your life, of you playing as a child, with a favorite dog, or a blissful time on the back of a horse.

Remember?
Yes. You remember.
The joy.
Your heart….
This….beautiful hearts desire.

This my child is the very thing that brings you back to the whole. “We” are no longer two halves now.

Stop.
Wipe the tears away.
And, feel it again.

This is where I am….in the heart. I am the engine of your car, just as your car will not run without an engine. You my child can not run without your heart. You are a God’s spark….the universal energy.

Look around. I did not create the person next to you any differently than you. Think about it. No….really think about it.

You are all energy. You are created from source energy.

What is no longer serving you today…..
Let go of it.

“It” is just a story….that’s all….just a story.

Put you hand on your heart again and listen. Let the sound of your heart fill your entire being.
Sit in its strength….and gather my power that is YOU!

All is well. Go in peace.

Lisa Y coaching

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

 

 

compassion and patience to all

Greetings~

I hope all is well with you today.

Seniors and the very sick

So, when people are either seniors, very sick or both, we tend to have more compassion and patience. We are gentle with them physically and emotionally. We want to cradle their heads in our hands. We pat them on the back and stroke their shoulder. We talk nicely and gently. We have a gentle smile on our face. We want to do nice things for them. We want to grant them a wish. We want to give them happiness even if only for  awhile.

We give them more time to cross the street. We give them more time to pay at the check out line. We pick up the item they dropped. We hold the door open longer so they can get through.

Why are we this way with them? Well, we see a gentle person who at the very least does not feel 100%. There are the common aches and pains of being a senior. And the very sick, well, they may be in considerable pain. They may have to endure medical treatments and therapy which drain their energy.  So. we are compassionate. We are reminded about how precious life is, and we don’t want to waste it. We know that we too will be a senior and or very sick. We treat them the way we would like to be treated.

Adults 18-65 and the healthy

So, this is the rest of us. And how do we treat each other? Well, sometimes we treat each other very well. But, we are busy. We are tired. We have things to take care of. We don’t see the fragility of life when we are with people under a certain age or who are at least outwardly healthy. So, we sort of let others “fend” for them selves.

We don’t see that need for that gentle touch. We don’t see the need for that special care and patience. But I disagree.

Most anyone at any given moment could use that same compassion. You never know when someone could use a hug. Could use a pat on the back or a stroke on the shoulder. Now don’t get me wrong. I am not suggesting that you go up to strangers and give them a hug or a pat on the back. That would be strange. But what I am saying is that you look to people, all people with the same compassion and love as you do the seniors and the very sick.

Smile a compassionate smile rather than a condescending smile. I see those all the time. Don’t be impatient. Be gentle. Be kind. Treat them as if there is no tomorrow. Do little things. If someone is trying to load heavy things in the back of a truck or van and they are alone, offer help. If they drop something and have their hands full, jump in an pick it up. And if they look sad, tell them, “take care”.

My mom

My mom had a bad stroke. She, at times, had to be in nursing homes for medical care I could  not give. I visited her every day when she was not at home. It tore me up. I wanted to see her, but leaving was so hard. I knew how much she needed my company. In those last 13 months, I was very gentle. I treated her like a delicate china doll. Those last months I wanted so much to make her days as good as possible. In the end, a bowl of a favorite flavor of ice cream  was something for which she was grateful.

My mom and I had a very good relationship before her stroke. But our bond grew even stronger those last months. My love for her grew because of my intense desire to make her last days as happy and filled with as much love as a person can generate.

If we all did this, had compassion and patience for all, what a nice place it would be.

Wishing you a very nice day. 

And as a reminder, the holiday season is either a very happy time or a very sad and lonely time. Two thoughts: One, if you know someone who will be alone, for what ever reason, and if you are having a nice family gathering, if you can, offer this person a seat at your table or even just time in your home for coffee, hot chocolate or hot cider and dessert or something. A little time to hang out with a family can make the world of difference. And if they turn you down, frankly, the invitation itself could make the difference. Two, since I care so much for the sad and lonely people, I am available if you would like to talk. If you need a friend, you know where to find me.

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

Take Care!

Lisa Y life coach

 

Doing your best

Hey~

Quick thought here.

Everyone is doing their best. 

This month in a coaching session, “everyone is doing their best” was said. And the person who heard it, well, everything changed. The person being coached felt a big relief. Why? Because this person is easily disappointed in others. And hearing this, which she already knew, made a whole lot of difference. She is not as easily disappointed. It was like a burden had been lifted. She no longer has to be burdened with the disappointment of others not being as considerate as she would be. And I think she learned that she was expecting a bit too much of herself, and could be less harsh on herself.

I hope that makes sense. And I hope it helps.

Lisa Y coaching

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

Happy Holidays

P.S. I am available on Christmas if you have the holiday blues.

You need to lose to understand winning

Hello~

Charmed

It seems that some people always win. It seems that some people never have hardships. It seems that for some people things always work out without much effort or emotional pain.

These are the people who really can’t listen to people complain. They will say things like “suck it up”, “relax”, “that’s life”. They don’t understand the struggle other people go through. They do not understand that for some people life can be really hard.

Win all the time is what they do. They think it is natural. Not only do they win all the time, they think it is natural and normal. Doesn’t everyone?

Lose to understand winning

How can someone understand winning unless they lose? If you never lose, you can’t understand what winning is all about. If you never have to overcome, you don’t understand what an accomplishment it is.

Battle of the bulge

When I was 16, 17 years old, I worked in my dad’s weight loss clinic. I could not understand the need to go to a weight loss clinic. Why can’t they just lose weight on their own?, I would wonder. Unless you have struggled to lose weight, you don’t understand how hard it can be. I have a nephew who said it was easy. Just eat less than you burn was his “wisdom”. Yes, it comes down to that, but it is more complicated than that. And when you are a menopausal woman, it is hard. Now, I understand the people who came into the weight loss clinic.

Getting a job

A few years ago when unemployment was high, some people were unemployed for over a year.  President Obama put on the pressure to extend unemployment benefits to help people out.

Someone I knew had a job, moved out of state, and within 2 weeks had a brand new job. So, I said something about it to a mutual friend. I said something like “wow, she got a job already.” This other person said, “It’s easy getting a job.” I did not even know what to say. If it were so easy to get a job, why were so many in need?

I have a nephew who can get a job really easily. Getting work for him is easy. Getting work for the women above is easy. For me, it has always been a struggle.

The point is for the other people in this example, they don’t understand what it is to “lose” at the “get a job game”. They have no idea how hard it can be.

Never know how sick you are until feel better

When I was in college, a man I met had kidney disease. He went to dialysis. Then, he got a transplant. He felt great! This is what he said to me, “You never know how sick you are until you feel better.” That statement has stayed with me since about 1981 or 1982.

So again, you can’t really understand winning until you have lost.

I have said it before, and I will say it again. I am not perfect. I am not “charmed”. I know what it is to lose. I know what it is to win. I understand the exhilaration one has once you overcome obstacles.

I understand what it is to feel bad. I understand how it feels to beat “the blues”. I understand what it feels like to have that dark cloud lifted.

Power in complaining

I can relate to more than you can imagine. As someone who is not “charmed”, I can and do listen really well. I can listen to complaining. And a little secret, once you get your complaining out, you feel powerful.  

The other day, in session, someone said, “I am in despair.” And in that moment, there was instant relief. The energy it takes to keep your “negative” feelings in is released when you express it. At the moment she uttered those words, that draining energy was released, and she found the energy to focus the energy in a different direction…toward making things better, to healing.

OK friends, I hope this gives you inspiration.

If you need someone to complain to, someone who understands what it is to lose then win, you know where to find me.

Yeah!

Lisa Y life coaching

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

 

 

Ladies and Gentlemen

Hey~

Times change. People change. Some change is good. Changes that create progress are good. But some changes seem to move us backwards as a society.

There was a time when people were more polite. There was a time when they were more considerate. People didn’t used to be so rude. People did not used to be so angry.

Lady: a woman who is refined, polite, and well-spoken

Gentleman: a civilized, educated, sensitive, or well-mannered man

There was a time when cussing or just foul language in public was rare. It was actually shocking. It was mostly done by men and men considered to be of low class. It was not used in everyday conversations. It was not used in music. It was rarely used by women. It was not casual.

Today, it is everywhere. One can barely get through a day without hearing the “F” word at least once. More than that, it is nearly impossible to get through a day without seeing someone “give the finger”. What is even more is that it not even shocking anymore. What was once used to give shock value to some thing now is virtually meaningless.

So, what is the big deal?

For starters it is rude. Saying crude, foul language and giving the finger is just plain trashy.

Anger. More than that this foul language and gesture expresses anger. It multiplies anger. It generates anger. Think about it. Do you feel more or less angry when you use certain language and gesture? Well, personally, I feel more angry. Just making a fist in anger makes you feel more angry.

Where are we headed? When did R rated movies become the norm? There was a time when seeing an R rated movie was edgy.

 I guess this all has to do with people becoming more and more in need of stimulation.

Loud. Why are we so loud? Have you ever noticed that people talk very loudly? We don’t have “indoor” voices anymore.

The point is that we have become a society of people who desperately need stimulation. We talk very loudly. We talk trash, and give rude gestures. So? So, all of this is promoting and spreading negativity and anger. We are becoming more and more angry.

We are out of control. We can’t control ourselves anymore. We can’t control our words. We can’t control our actions. We cuss, use foul language, cut each other off in traffic, we honk at cars who travel the speed limit. We use rude gestures all the time. This is all “knee jerk” reactions.

We are supposed to be evolving. But I hardly consider this to be evolving. All we have proven in the last 40 years is that women can be as rude as men. There are very few ladies and gentlemen any more. Actually, I cringe every time I hear those words misused. Ever watch a show with the police referring to a criminal as that gentleman. Really? No, he is not a gentleman for a gentleman would not be committing a crime.

Ladies and gentlemen are not rude. They are not crude. They are not so filled with anger that they cannot control their words or actions. They are polite, they are considerate. They don’t spit in public. They don’t litter. They are courteous. They are patient.

Challenge: I challenge you to become ladies and gentlemen. Stop using foul language. Stop using crude gestures. Stop talking loudly. Use your inside voices again. Be polite and considerate. Don’t litter. Take your trash home instead of throwing it out the car window. Don’t spit in public.

Why? To regain control. To relieve the anger. The more we act a certain way the angrier we are getting. I want to see us be more at peace. Controlling ourselves is the first step. How can we control the world, the environment, if we can’t control ourselves? To start the process of living in harmony.

If we all do this, we will be happier. We won’t be filled with so much hate.

Yeah!

Have a peaceful day!

Lisa Y. coaching, www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

 

Dear Santa

Dear Santa~

I have been very good this year.

I would like the following this year: 

A new bicycle. My bicycle does not work very well.

A new van. Mine is getting old.

Chocolate and ice cream that tastes great and has no calories.

Bread that has no carbs.

A year’s supply of my favorite energy drink. They don’t give me energy, but I like them and they are really expensive.

A new computer. You know how they get old.

Some crayons. I think coloring would be a nice new habit.

New pajamas. Mine have a hole in the knee.

You can skip the underwear, that is just not appropriate.

OK that is about it.

Thank you! Hello to the elves the rein deer and Mrs. Claus.

Love, Lisa

(Lisa Y coaching www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach)