Lisa Y coaching

Then Pilate leaned forward and I thought, “Now, now he will deliver Jesus.” But the crowd cried suddenly, “He is opposed to Caesar. Who is friend to this man is no friend of Caesar.” Then I saw fear like a substance, and hard and white, slip over his face, the hands, the very robes of Pontius. He looked this way and that, at the guards, the crowd, the priests. Then he said dryly, like a philosopher: “What is truth?” And stayed not for any answer.

At the corridor leading to the Sanhadrin, I fell before Pontius on my knees. “Pontius,” I cried, “This is Jesus, Jesus the very Christ, the Son of God. And Pontius, it is Pilo’s dear Jesus, He who healed our boy. Have no part in His death. I have suffered many things in a dream this night of Him. For thine own, for even the sake of all those judges in this world who will come after thee and judge in Christ’s name without fear, for our child, for me, Claudia, thy wife, Pontius, save Jesus the Christ.”

But Pontius’s sweat was gray upon his face. He could not decide. He said, and staggered, “This is fearful. Now am I in hell. I can not stem this outbreak of the priests, for they are powerful here. Herod has asked me to make an example of the powerful here. Herod has asked me to make an example of this man. If not he will speak ill of me to Caesar. And if this Jesus be truth or not, I can not decide, for I am a philosopher and must argue the matter further. My mind rejects this man who is but a carpenter, and yet” he pushed his hands forward and groaned from his deeps “I feel, I feel…”

And then the guards came forward. They stepped briskly, for they held scourging a fine sport. And a shriek rose everywhere, “Crucify Him!” Then I heard the sound of splitting flesh when I came to the outer prison yard. Even in faint, something of myself saw, very clearly, Jesus, bound to a pillar and standing in a red pool of His own blood. And Pretorius, one of our body guards, whose broken hand Jesus had once healed, now scourged Him the hardest.

And now they put a crown of thorns on His head and pressed it down, and the eyes bulged. And they wrapped Him in an old fine robe of Pontius’s own. And Pontius staggered even in the judgement seat, and said like a dead man: “Why, I find no fault in Him.” And he washed his hands in the silver gilt basin, and sought every which way increasingly to save Jesus. But they would not release Him even for the custom of their Passover, but preferred some robber whose name has left me. And now a runner brought a scroll with the secret seal of Herod saying, :Have done quickly with all prisoners this night, for tomorrow I set early for Rome and would speak well of thee to Caesar. Do thou set out early with me for a bit of the way, for I have found a new little brook and many fine trout.”

And Pontius and Herod had made themselves into friends that day, one to further the other with Caesar.

And when Pontius said to the the mob which shrieked, “What shall I do with this man?” they shouted as one, “Crucify Him as you are Caesar’s friend, crucify Him!” He delivered Jesus unto them.

And before Pontius went afishing with Herod he wrote this title for the cross, “Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews.”

Thou,O Fulvia, who art a Christian, need not be told of what followed. Thou knowest how Jesus Himself dragged His cross to the Hill of Death, and at the last of His agony died upon it, and that Mary, His mother, stood with Him to the end, and so looked upon her son, who had healed my son, and was condemned by mine own husband unto death.

In the fever and long delirium that seized upon Pontius we lived terribly through many events. For, at the death of our Jesus, the earth trembled and darkness fell upon us, and many, even our centurion, said, “This was in truth the Son of God.”

And many more believed on Him when He rolled the stone away from His own sepulcher and walked among His people in company with His disciples, who now themselves, did heal and teach His words.

But now, tho my soul was on its knees before Him in supplication for Pontius, Pontius could not believe, but he studied increasingly, and was wretched to look upon. Such calamity fell upon him, and my heart ached for this man, my husband. Blow on blow fell upon Pontius, even as once the scourge of Christ.

When Pilo returned and heard his father had condemned Jesus to death, he fell and was dead. Nor did I wish him to live, for never could my child have forgiven his father, for he loved Jesus dearly.

Then Herod, for whose fear Pontius had delivered Jesus, spoke against Pontius privately to Caesar and had his own cousin appointed at Jerusalem. And Pilate was judged and sentenced by the Senate at Rome unjustly, for there were false witnesses, and suffered greatly in this, for until he falsely judged the Christ, he had been very upright. With his honor, he lost friends. His lands at Rome were taken, and he had no penny, but must walk like a slave. His library was scattered.

Gnawed with his remorse, Pilate sees in me the witness to his crime, and everywhere we feel the eyes of the Christians burning into us, as did those eyes of Christ. At their meetings they tell the life of Jesus and have a sentence which forever sentences Pontius. “He suffered under Pontius Pilate.”

And Pontius is a scholar and knows that words live forever. So his own learning too betrayed him. Now we are driven to this mountain crag in Gallia, whence Euphonius will bring you this scroll.

Pontius has become old and ill and very weak, so he is at last a child. In his weakness is my hope. O Fulvia, if only now, when every moment presses to his last, if now the learned mind would forget itself the love of Christ and with the pitiful heart be healed as once was healed my Pilo. If he now, my husband, who condemned Jesus for fear of others to death, could without fear go to his own judgement by the Son of God.

Ye who pray, pray now for Pontius.

Lisa Y life coach

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

But I could not sleep that night for the calling of Jesus’s face. When the last bugle of the temple sounded I was like one who dreams awake. And this is the dream I dreamed:

I saw a great hillside, and it was crowded with all the children Jesus had healed. Pilo and Smedia were there and many, many others. And beside them were their fathers and mothers and all of every kind and  degree who were joined into a great kindred by the love of Jesus. And there were those also who had been healed in the heart and mind as well as body, and more who had needed no healing, but only the right to love life itself.

And none were idle, but all worked with the hands or the mind, and both the hands and faces sang and shone. And all were refreshed in their work, for each had found the outlet of his peculiar genius. So this was a new race. And young and old, this one thing lay upon their faces, for in the love of Jesus all were as children and without fear or greed, but greatly glorified, so their unfolding of themselves was like a canticle of uneasing beauty.

And apart, wrapped in a swollen cloud, drifted without aim many others. These were not as children but very aged, with a toil which brought them always to work in  circle back to themselves. And they cursed this and that and pursed lust and power and cried in agony of fear, so their cries were horrible, and their sufferings very great.

And Pontius, the philosopher, was among them. And his arms were worn away from entreating Pilo from afar off to turn to him. And so Pontius cried out to me. And in my sweat of pity, for Pontius was a just man and very learned, I woke. I ran to his bedchamber, crying, “Pontius, Pontius, believe. Cease thy philosophies; believe as a little child on Jesus.” But my maids laughed at me to scorn for my night cry and said: “The Governor is in the judgement seat. There is someone there.”

And now a murmur swelled loudly from the city, with sudden yells. My heart throbbed as tho it would burst from me. I heard the tread of many feet other than the iron shod soldiers upon the marble court below leading to Pretorium.

I flew to Pontius. He was seated in the tribunal. I drew aside the purple curtain. I saw, O Fulvia, I saw Jesus, Pilo’s Jesus. His hands were tied. The cords cut into His bones, and His face was streaming blood. But in all the agony of his body, which was very beaten about, His eyes were full of love. So He looked gently upon Pontius, who was frenzied with doubt now.

The crowd pressed Jesus uncomonly, the soldiers, and Scribes, and Pharisees, the drunken, the lowest of the night rabble. Nor did I see any friend near Jesus. They had brought Him from the priests in the garden, and kicking, striking Him, had maimed each other as Himself.And He healed many. The very demons peered out of their terrible faces. And Pilate was unable to decide His sentence, for he was afraid for his ambition. Now he would ask questions of them, and now of Jesus. And Pontius was white with fear.

I heard him say again, “What is it you ask of me to do to this just man? What evil has he done?” And then he swayed a little and said, “Has He not healed some of you?” Nor then would he look at the eyes of Jesus.

Their high priest, Caiaphas, made answer, “We ask the death of this man for He would make Himself king here instead of Caesar.”

Pontius like one who would increase time, asked directly of Jesus, “Art thou the King of the Jews?” And Jesus looked into Pontius deep as to open into his subtleties. O Fulvia, that look of the blood stained Christ! He asked not for help from Pontius even at this hour when he had no friend, but rather sought to find the healing way to His own judge.

He said, “Dost thou ask this of thine own self, or dost another speak for thee?” And Pontius, turned in agony for he could not decide, and the roar of the crowd was great.

Then Jesus said to Pontius, as if alone in all the shrieking madness, “My kingdom is not of this world. My kingdom is the truth that lives within you as within all born into this world. To reveal thyself in truth am I come.”

The next and final post is on 4/16/17

Lisa Y Life Coach

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

So I saw into the chamber of death, and through the clouds of thick incense, Smedia, lying upon her funeral bier, very white of complete death. Beside her utterly bowed as Salome, and many burning candles and many faces. And then I saw Him, Fulvia. Then I saw Jesus. Scarcely did He seem a man to my first sight, nor yet a person. Tho His face and hands, His very garments, were those of them about Him, rather He as some presence, some undefined feeling as of the very loveliness of love itself.

Suddenly I saw Jairus throw himself upon his knees before Jesus. He cried, “Lord, my daughter is dead. Say but the word and she will be healed.” A shudder ran through my frame; my very soul hung upon his words. Then Jesus took Smedia by the hand and said, “Arise.” Fulvia, she obeyed Him.

She rose. Her eyes opened upon us all. Slowly her face flushed with life. She looked into the eyes of Jesus. Then she threw out her arms and cried: “Why mother!”

I did not know I had fallen upon my knees, but presently I was aware of the trampling crowd. There were shouts about me, but so strangely few of joy, and these alone from the household. More were of hate, and many hissed. I turned desperately every which way to try to get Jesus, but the crowd crushed me down the steep stair, and tided me farther and farther until I sobbed with despair. For now I knew I could not ask Jesus to heal Pilo.

So they pushed me through the shouters of hate, and the Pharisees, who called Him loudly, “Blasphemer, hater of Caesar.”, until I was forced into a little passageway roofed with gourds. And there I heard a cry. It will ring forever in my ears. “mother, mother!”

Through all the multitudes sprang Pilo in my arms. Pilo, erect and firm, without sickness in him. And more, nay more, he dragged no ithered foot. My Pilo leaped, walked, danced, all sound. His feet were lovely as his face. Pilo, my son made whole.

Before I had asked of Jesus He had heard. More than I had asked, He had granted. O Fulvia!

Now I must struggle to write you of what follows. My words are difficult. Beyond Pontius’s pride in Pilo made whole, beyond his love for the boy which sprang new born from out the very cheers of the soldiers, for Pilo was now a very marvel of sport and joy. Pontius must satisfy his own mind, for the heart he reckoned not.

“There is some trickery here.” he said. “This man is but a carpenter and without education, and I am a man of learning. I must search the matter closely before you or yet Pilo may see again this Jesus.”

And into his doubt crept also fear, and, very closely following, his ambition. Herod said unto him: “Beware of this Nazarene. He is dangerous to us. He would make Himself King here. I have information from inside.”

And Pilate wished to be further appointed at Egypt, and would be thought well of by Herod and so by Caesar. We went with Herod that Spring into the deep sea, nor did we return until Paschal time of the Jews was at hand. This famed feast yearly gathered together at Jerusalem numbers from all the tribes of Israel to offer sacrifice.

The day before their feast Pontius said to me: “The fates are against your Jesus of Nazareth. A price has been put upon His head, and before eventide He will be delivered up to the chief priests.”

“But father, you will save Jesus, of course.” When Pilo said this easily, Pontius put the boy away with Mata to the hills, for he would not look into his eyes. Nor would he allow me even converse that day with any outside, but bade me severely to keep to my woman’s court. He looked haggard, desperate with uncertainty.

To be continued on 4/14/17

Lisa Y life coach

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

Part one post was titled  Letter From the Wife of Pontius Pilate

Now at this time, we had acquaintance with one Jairus, a ruler of the synagog.  When Pontius would argue with him his philosophy I would sit in the women’s court where the fountain is and embroider upon my veils with his wife Salome. They had an only child, Smedia. She had then just reached her twelfth year and was lovely as dawn roses which in all the world grow only in Jerusalem.

When Pontius spread out his hands against the argument of Jairus,  I in my loneliness listened to Salome. First in my court, then many times on her own roof, she whispered to me of one Jesus, a carpenter of Nazareth who walked among these people, healing the sick, curing lepers, making the dumb cry out, the blind to see. And now He had made a lame child leap up whole. A lame child, O Fulvia!

Now others, unbelievers, politicians, the Pharisees themselves, began to talk of this Jesus. Herod told us He had taken a tribute piece from a fish’s mouth, and laughed heartily and so did all. Then they said He raised a man of Bethany from the dead. Now all in Jerusalem rang with this Jesus. But in his discourse was no miracle, only healing of empty cleverness with simple truth.

Salome said He said, “You must become as a little child to know God.” But Pontius forbade us, or any of the household, to approach Jesus, for Pontius was very learned, nor would he wish to become as a child. When once I pleaded he put me by with, “Yes, yes I know, this Jesus has turned water into wine; He multiplied a few loaves and fishes to feed many; He disappeared out of a crowded room, but so the conjurers of the East have done. Let Him show me how it is done so I myself may do these things, and when I do them I may believe. I want truth, not trickery. Hold thyself, Claudia Procula, very high; thou art a Roman’s wife.”

But now I pitied Pontius. He had many cares and a very lean look. His rulings took him often from us, and then he lost his taste for life itself as one who, grown arid among his parchments could not see what was real before himself. Many wise men are so , Fulvia.

Then a strange sickness fell upon us that summer. Its malice gathered with the heat. Particularly it wasted children with a torpor life of death itself. So it numbed my boy. He thinned, whitened, and fell. Even Pontius was roused. He sent runners to Athens, to Alexandria, to Rome itself, for drafts. And the weakness increased. Now the gentle sweetness of my boy was scarcely of Earth. I trembled. Then the child of Jairus and Salome was stricken, and quickly. The night Smedia died the physicians also turned away from my boy’s couch.

Pontius, to meet the end, closeted himself with his Stoics. I was alone with my dying Pilo, and his tutor, Mata, a Greek slave to Pontius. Now Mata pressed a tablet into my hand. It was from Jairus. It said, “Jesus will come to Smedia, even dead. Do tou bring Pilo.” A faint trembling light shot  into my soul. All else had failed. My child’s last breath was almost burned out. Could He, this Jesus,  save my son?

Scarcely knowing it was my own voice, my arms, my substantial self, I followed Mata. He held Pilo very gently and glided softly, swiftly, into the dawn, like a shadow with a shadow. I had not known it but Mata as a follower of Jesus. But when we came to the street of Jairus our chariot could not proceed farther, the crowd was so great.

Mata would not have us known imperially, so I stood heavily veiled as a mourner. Thus I was slowly given passage through the outer wailers and the flute players and the many poor, and those fisherfolk who follow Jesus, and those Pharisees and Scribes who seek the more to trap Him in treason against Caesar.

These would give me no entrance beyond the vestibule, for they wished no witnesses. But O Fulvia, to have gained thus far, and now to fail my chance to ask for Pilo his life of Jesus! Then at the head  of the stairway I saw Jairus. Before the authority of his hand a way opened upward. But when I was at the bedchamber door Jairus quickly withdrew, and I could only wait there, pressed, agonizing.

To be continued on Sunday the 9th.

Lisa Y. Life Coach

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach