Lisa Y coaching

Do you understand the why of what I will call Covid depression?

What it is not:

It is not the lack of in person human interaction including hugs. It is not the lack of socializing and going out to bars and restaurants. It has nothing to do with how your hair looks. It is not the lack of a job or a loss of income. Nor is it not being able to go to a job you enjoy. It is not the inability to go to the gym or do similar activities. it is not the inability to go shopping at the mall. It is not the inability to go see a sick or aging relative. It is not that you can’t watch sports. It is not staying home all the time. It is not being stuck at home with your family all the time.

It isn’t? No it isn’t. Does that surprise you? It should. Those things are all very upsetting. And they do lead to bad feelings. But that is not the reason for any depression you may be feeling right now.

What it is:

It is the lack of certainty. All depression is from a lack of certainty. It is a lack of control. Right now, we don’t really know from day to day what is happening. Today your city, county and state have some sort of rules of engagement. They are being very controlling. Today you can do some action or activity , but tomorrow it may not be allowed. But, you never know when the mayor, county supervisor or governor may get on the news and say something like starting tomorrow the rules are going to change. It may mean more freedoms, or it may be fewer freedoms.

There are four necessities in life. One is control. When we lose control, we may do depression for comfort. I know that does not make any sense. But it is comforting. You bring a little control back into your life. If you act in a depressed manner, you are taking control of one aspect of your life. I will act depressed if I want to. It is my decision. What it is you may be doing to deal with the current situation is bringing a sense of security. You are giving you acting a certain way to bring pleasure into your life to avoid pain.

Here is what is happening. You sit around your home and ask questions. How long will it last? Will I get sick? Will it get worse? How will it end?

This is the necessity of life uncertainty. It is the opposite of certainty. We need uncertainty or variety. The problem is that right now uncertainty is out of control. It is too much. This brings the need for certainty and uncertainty out of balance. This is what is causing so much distress right now.

What you have to understand in life is that sometimes there are events in our world that we can’t control. You can send a “tweet” to the governor of your state asking that he or she allow this or that, but it won’t help. When something is completely out of your control, you have to accept that. You have to allow yourself to just relax and let go. I know that can be hard to do sometimes. But that is the first step in feeling better if the current situation has you acting out of sorts. And frankly, letting go is taking control in it’s own way.

The next step would be to find other actions you can take to bring control to your life. Work on other issues. Find a new hobby to take your mind off the rest of the world for awhile. Take up meditation. This is particularly helpful as meditation is all about bringing control into your life. You can still exercise. You can still go for a walk, a hike, a bicycle ride. Exercise is one of my best ways to clear my mind. And one more thing to do is to seriously reduce your exposure to the events of the world right now. Be informed, but don’t dwell on it by spending more than 10 minutes a day obsessing over any new development.

OK I hope that helps. If not, you know where to find me.

Coach Lisa

www.facebook.com/coachLisa

So does it occur to anyone else that this Corona virus is happening during Lent and that there is a lesson here?

One day everything was life as usual in the world. It was Fat Tuesday so to speak.

Then a virus appeared.

Then the next thing you know we are searching for toilet paper. We are social distancing. We are not able to eat in a restaurants. Schools are closed. Amusement parks are closed. Concerts are canceled. Hotel, travel and tourism industries are hurting. All sorts of events are canceled. Some businesses that have never closed ever even in 100 years are closed.

All this closure has us giving up a lot of things. Just like people do for Lent.

Lent is a time when people give up something they enjoy. It is meant as a sacrifice. The forty days represents the time Jesus spent in the wilderness, enduring the temptation of Satan and preparing to begin his ministry. Lent is a time of repentance, fasting and preparation for the coming of Easter. It is a time of self-examination and reflection.  It is a time when Christians focus on relationship with God, growing as disciples and extending ourselves, often choosing to give up something or to volunteer and give of ourselves for others.

Can you see the connection?

We are all, not just Christians, being asked to give up some things. It is situation where we are making choices. What is important? What is not?This is being called a crisis. If so, the word crisis which has the Greek root to mean to sift. That is to shake out the excesses and to leave only what is important. That is what crises do. They shake things up until we are forced to hold on to what matters most. The rest falls away.

In this time of the time of the Corona situation, we, are preparing for Easter in a sense. A new way of living may very well be at hand. The birth of a new way of living. Getting back to the basics of what is important. We are seeing what really matters. Before this situation we had excesses that were not of benefit to us in our spiritual sense. We lived wanting more and more. Just like Fat Tuesday, before this situation, we splurged. Now, we have been forced to cut back. We have had to adjust to a very big change. We are looking around to see who needs help. How can we help our seniors? How can we help the small business which has to close or has had their business dwindle due to the social distancing?

Don’t you think it’s interesting that the name of this virus is corona? Many people would have heard about the solar flash preceding ascension. The solar flash is understood to be a mass CORONAL ejection from the sun, wiping out all negative influence on the planet and restoring humanity to their rightful true states of being. Switched on in the heart, connected to true source, able to experience true light and eradicating all false light on the planet. This is spoken about in ancient mystery schools and religious texts alike, our ancients understood that a time would come where first light would return.

“And the people stayed home. And read books, and listened, and rested, and exercised, and made art, and played games, and grew gardens full of fresh food, and learned new ways of being, and were still. And listened more deeply. Some meditated, some prayed, some danced. Some met their shadows. And the people began to think differently. “And the people healed. And, in the absence of people living in ignorant, dangerous, mindless, and heartless ways, the earth began to heal. “And when the danger passed, and the people joined together again, they grieved their losses, and made new choices, and dreamed new images, and created new ways to live and heal the earth fully, as they had been healed.”~Kitty O’Meara

In the Hindu religion, Shiva is the destroyer. Shiva represents the constant changing of the universe, the flow of life. From Shiva we learn that everything must constantly be destroyed in order to be reborn. He reminds us that we must constantly let go of everything we hold on to, in order to flow with the motion of life.

Ruin is the road to transformation.

Please take this time, to reflect. What positive can come out of this at the end of the crisis? It is all going to be all right.

Coach Lisa

www.facebook.com/coachLisa

So, there is A LOT out there on the URGENCY to find your PURPOSE.

SECRET: there is no urgency to find your purpose! RELAX. Your purpose will COME to you.

A big part of MY purpose was the years I was there for my mom including 13 months after her stroke. A big part of MY purpose has been to care for animals. There have been my rescues and the neighbor dogs. Some of my purpose has been to be a friend and guide to people in general. It has also been that kind word or gesture to others. I may not have saved the world, but I made a DIFFERENCE to mom and a variety of dogs and cats, strangers, and my clients. The POINT is don’t try to FIND your purpose. You don’t have to look for it.

Not everyone has some great life purpose. YOUR purpose may very well be similar to mine. Your purpose may be to make a DIFFERENCE in a small way just as I did. For people to think they do and they are not fulfilling their life purpose is very upsetting to people. This is a big contribution to so many people feeling unfulfilled. They feel they are not living up to what they should be doing.

I saw someone who asked how much PAIN will you go through to get to your life purpose? YIKES! Fulfilling your life purpose should not be painful. It should be natural. It is not a treasure hunt. It surrounds you. It is part of your life already.

Your life purpose or our true obligation to the world is to be the best we can be. This is our destiny. We take what has been given to us and use this to take care of ourselves. We need to learn to love our self. As we love our self, that is reflected in the world. Through love we make anything possible. When we take care of or own self, this is reflected back into the world, and others will do the same. Thoughts are things. What we think happens. Ideas begin to grow. Opportunities become endless. There is no concept of boundary or limitation.

People are always searching for answers. I say that the answer to anything lies in the question. We simply have to recognize it. When we follow our true self, the answer will be there. When we learn to trust ourselves, we can relax. We can release fear. When we relax and release fear, we find peace, and we can overcome anything.

Our purpose is to gain experience. We are here to learn. We are here to grow. There are 5 passions that hold us back. In order to grow, we must eliminate them. Here they are:

Anger: Anger has to do with meeting the survival need for significance. It helps us to feel stronger when we feel we have been knocked down or put down. It lessens our ability to connect or to have warmth and togetherness with others.

Attachment: This is infatuation. This is the passion for someone or something. It is that sense of need. As long as one has a sense of need, he is wanting. People become obsessed with attachment. It includes anxiety and worry. It causes procrastination. One is so worried that they fail to act.

Greed: This has to do with meeting the survival need for self or significance. We practice greed when we have fear of losing what we have. We need to learn when what we have is enough. Once we have all that we need, anything more is too much. Being afraid of losing what we have, we fail to grow as a human being. We stop growing.

Lust: This is an abnormal demand for anything. We are filling the survival need for significance and ignoring the survival need for love and connection with others.

Vanity: This has to do with the self or ego our sense of significance. It makes us feel better about our self. But it also makes us feel insecure. It distracts us from other people. It keeps us from reaching out to others.

There is a necessity for a sense of self or significance. There is nothing wrong with wanting to feel significant or unique. But these five passions are extreme and put your life out of balance.

The powers of the Universe can bring about anything. We need to learn to be aware of the possibilities. The answer is right before us. The key is to open the mind. We can learn to harness the creative power of the Universe. When we do, we understand the principle of life. We can create our life to be what we want. We must turn on our spiritual light. This is going from ignorance to enlightenment. This is the purpose of life. This is our mission.

Cheers!

Coach Lisa

www.facebook.com/coachLisa

I am an empath. I feel deeply. I care deeply. I can get overwhelmed with the energy around me. I need more quiet time than non empaths. I crave quiet times. I enjoy silence. I enjoy meditation.

I see a lot of support empaths give other empaths. I see a lot of talk about what it is to be an empath, which gives support, but I have yet to see a lot of answers. I am a transition coach. I wanted to explain what is going on here from a transition coach’s point of view with the hope to help. Remember this is a GENERALIZATION. It is based on MY EXPERIENCE and what I see as a commonality. I suggest you answer the questions for you. So here it goes.

What do empaths value most? The value certainty and comfort. They want to avoid the pain of overwhelming energy.

What is most important? The freedom from the energies of the world around us.

What do they strive to obtain above all else? To have a peaceful environment.

What do they do to get this? They are home bodies. They take as much quiet time as possible. They do meditation.

How do they live? In more isolation than others.

What drives them? To find a peaceful environment.

What do they want? To be relaxed in life.

What do they want to change? That uneasy feeling with concern over the lives of other people and animals.

What need do they want to meet on a higher level? Peace.

What would having that mean? Relief.

What is preventing them from getting that? The unwelcome sensitivity is every where. We pick it up everywhere. We are too aware.

What is blocking them from obtaining that? The options for that quiet place is limited and difficult.

How are they meeting their need by not changing? In many cases, isolation.

How is need met by not changing? Being home in a quiet place.

What need is met by not changing? Comfort.

What will they lose if don’t change? Socializing.

What are they missing out on? Socializing.

How does that feel? Lonely.

What will they gain when do change? Social interaction which fills the need for love and connection with others.

How will that feel? Nice. It would be pleasant to feel loved and part of society.

Who will they become if they do not change? A sad and lonely outcast. They will feel like an odd ball.

Who will they become when they do change? Part of society. A feeling they belong.

How will that feel? Great.

What is the alternative? What has to happen for you to get what you need? The goals:

To be less sensitive. Turn down the emotions which are actions by the way. The ability to let things go.

Think about a shipwreck. Now, I am not saying that being an empath is like having a life which is a shipwreck. But it is to me how I feel as an empath sometimes.

At first, you feel you are drowning. The wreckage is all around you. Everything is floating around. There are pieces all over. In your mind, you try to put all the pieces all back together. You try to get to your peaceful state of mind.

You try to remember how the ship was. You try to get back to the last time you felt peaceful. You try to imagine the ship in all its glory. You remember its beauty. You remember the magnificence of the ship. The ship was and is no more.

And all you can do is float in the water surrounded by the wreckage.

At first, you may be in hysterics. You may feel frantic. You may feel a great sense of loss. You think my life will never be peaceful again.

But as you float in the water surrounded by the wreckage, you start to calm down. You start to think more positively. You start to think about all the possibilities for rescue. You start thinking about opportunity to get out of this wreckage.

What next? Well, you rebuild that ship. You rebuild your peace. You get new pieces. You put them together. It isn’t the same ship. But you recreate a ship with its own unique beauty, glory and magnificence.

So, what are these pieces you use to rebuild your peace?

There are certain things to do. One is to have a distraction. One is to find humor in the situation. One is to look at the situation from the opposite perspective. Things are probably not as bad as we think it is.

What you are feeling can guide you to a different way of thinking of the situation. Here is a sample.

If you feel annoyed, this is a lesson in patience. If you feel abandoned, this is a lesson in how to stand on your own two feet. If you feel angry, this is a lesson in forgiveness and compassion. If you feel someone has power over you, take the power back. If you feel hate, this is a lesson in unconditional love. If you feel fear, this is a lesson to overcome fear. If you can’t control the situation, this is a lesson in letting go.

I know this is hard. These lessons are difficult for empaths. But if you stop when you feel you are in a shipwreck and drowning, stop and think about all of these options and you will find the answer. It will take practice.

And this friends is how we survive a shipwreck in life. You did not drown. You floated until you were able to rise out of the wreckage and built a new ship.

Smooth sailing.

Coach Lisa

www.facebook.com/coachLisa

So, I have been inspired by these two words. It seems there is some commonality between them more than just sounding alike.

If we have a big waist, we have a lot of waste. A big waist can be the result of eating foods which lack nourishment rather than too much to eat. Did you know that? So, if we eat food that is not particularly nutritious, we have waste which shows up on our waist.

Just as if we have a lot of things that we don’t use, we have a lot of waste. This waste is garbage. It is defective or damaged. Just like that food which is not nutritious. And when we bought this non nutritious food, we wasted our money. We buy a lot of things we can’t use and we waste it. We also waste time and money.

Now, here is more fun with words. When we waste a lot, we call it wasteland. Which is a desert. And the word that is close to desert is dessert. And what does too much dessert do? It grows our waist. HA!

Now, we have E waste. Did you know that elastic bands on pants is now called E waist pants? HA! So, I am not the only one to make this connection.

The point is?

Well, the point is what you want to make of it. But, I am starting to see more and more connections with words, and I don’t think it is a coincidence.

I hope this blog post is not a waste of time.

Cheers!

Coach Lisa

www.facebook.com/coachLisa

Sometimes something terrible happens in our lives. It could be the death of a loved one. It could be a serious illness. It could be divorce. It could be a car crash, a fire, a flood that destroys property. It could be any number of things.

I will call this a shipwreck. We have a shipwreck. Our lives get tossed upside down.

At first, you feel you are drowning. The wreckage is all around you. Everything is floating around. There are pieces all over. In your mind, you try to put all the pieces all back together.

You try to remember how the ship was. You try to imagine the ship in all its glory. You remember its beauty. You remember the magnificence of the ship. The ship was and is no more.

And all you can do is float in the water surrounded by the wreckage.

At first, you may be in hysterics. You may feel frantic. You may feel a great sense of loss. You think my life will never be the same again. And you know what, it won’t. That is not to discourage you. But sometimes there is an aspect of life that simply is destroyed.

But as you float in the water surrounded by the wreckage, you start to calm down. You start to think more positively. You start to think about all the possibilities for rescue. You start thinking about opportunity to get out of this wreckage.

And then, the rescue team comes. People are around to take your hand and lift you out of the wreckage.

What next? Well, you rebuild that ship. You get new pieces. You put them together. It isn’t the same ship. But you recreate a ship with its own unique beauty, glory and magnificence.

And this friends is how we survive a shipwreck in life. You did not drown. You floated until you were able to rise out of the wreckage and built a new ship.

Smooth sailing.

Coach Lisa

www.facebook.com/coachLisa

In preparation for Valentine’s Day, here are some foods to prepare.

Aphrodisiacs long believed to have the power to stimulate the senses and to stir feelings of love. The word comes the Greek word aphrodisios derived from Aphrodite the goddess of love.

You could try rhinoceros horn, hemlock or arsenic. Ha! But these are not the most palatable. I don’t know how well a dinner would go with these aphrodisiacs. Here are some better options:

Certain substances do make people more sensual. Zinc is one and that is found in oysters. Vitamin C is another. This is found in oranges. Vitamin E is found in asparagus. And my favorite phenyletylamine is found in chocolate and alcohol. Endorphins your feel good chemicals of the brain are stimulated by hot chili peppers.

Let us take a closer look at each of these foods:

Oysters: Aphrodite (Venus) was said to have emerged from the sea on an oyster shell. Must have been a heck of a large oyster. Zinc deficiency in men is associated with lack of libido. So hey, can’t hurt, but personally, I will pass.

Asparagus: This vegetable is not only high in vitamin E, it is also rich in potassium, phosphorus, and calcium. These minerals are good for hormone production. Once again, I will pass.

Chocolate: Cocoa was widely used by the Mayans and Aztecs. It was used to enhance emotions to orgiastic heights. Those must have been pretty wild rituals, huh? It is the phenyletylamine which is found naturally in the brain and helps to elevate mood. This is one thing to which I will say yes.

Avocado: This is the Aztec word for testicle. Wow! It is said to raise desire for men. The Aztecs thought it was so potent that when it was harvest time, the young, attractive girls and women who were sexually mature and suitable for marriage were not allowed outside. I guess they had to be out of sight and out of mind. Hmm.

Honey: In India, the groom is given honey on the wedding day to be ready for the wedding night. The combination of milk and honey is prescribed by the Kama Sutra to help one get in the mood for love. And good ole Attila the Hun is said to have loved honey so much that he gorged himself to death on his honeymoon. What a way to go.

Truffles: This luxury item is said to have a very special romantic quality. It is to arouse both the body and the palate. It is said that the Roman Emperor Claudius who was forced to marry the undesirable Messalina, and it took a lot of Truffles to consummate the marriage. Wow.

“If music be the food of love, play on”, William Shakespeare. So if you are planning a romantic dinner, don’t forget the romantic music as part of the right atmosphere. Make it dinner for two. Place a light pink tablecloth on the table. Add rose petals to the table. And don’t forget the candlelight and some nice champagne.

Happy Valentine’s Day

Coach Lisa

www.facebook.com/coachLisa

I find it interesting that people seem to prefer to have a logical explanation for things rather than a super natural explanation. There is magic everywhere. There are miracles everywhere. There is wonder everywhere. And love, don’t forget about love.

I will guess that people prefer to have a logical explanation because it is easier. It is something more physical. It is a part of the normal range of reality.

We have become beings that find it difficult to simply believe in magic, miracles, and wonder. We need proof of reality. And I think this is unfortunate.

You see, it takes stepping back, and opening up our minds to see the magic, wonder and miracles of the world. When you relax and clear your mind, get the clutter out, stop thinking in terms of technical explanations, you will see the amazing way things happen. You will see how the universe moves things around just to give you what you want or need.

Sometimes it takes time. It takes time because there is a lot to do. Sometimes it takes time because we have to be ready and prepared for what is coming. Sometimes things get worse. It gets worse to have you move in another direction. You have to get on the right path.

What I want you to remember is that when you calm your mind and get rid of the clutter, you will be able to see the why of things are happening. Things do not happen to you. They happen for you. Energy has to be moved around. You will see the pattern. You will see how the different pieces of your life come together in the most amazing way. You will see the magic, wonder, and miracles. You will say if such and such did not happen then this other thing would not have happened. If that stumbling block had not happened, then that answer would have never occurred to me.

As a friend of mine used to say, it is like a spit ball from God right between the eyes. Most of you would call it that aha moment.

If you see something that is beautiful and amazing, don’t dismiss it as some logical explanation. Don’t overlook the possibility it is a miracle, magic, or some kind of wonder. And when you give this beautiful and amazing thing some consideration as being supernatural think love. Because love is the energy that makes it all happen and part of your reality.

Cheers.

Coach Lisa

www.facebook.com/coachLisa

Stress is everywhere. The key to stress relief is understanding the cause of tension in your life. This has to do with your specific inner drive, motivator. That thing that matters to you more than anything. When you know this, you will be able to recognize the cause of the tension of your life. When you understand this, you will have an answer for dealing with the stress in your life.

What I want you to understand is that what stresses one person does not stress out another. It all is based on the individual’s specific survival need.

Some stress is good. It can provide motivation. It can give you the energy to act. Some people work better under certain types of stress. And when you over come that which brought on the stress, you have a great sense of accomplishment.

But if the stress is ongoing and seems to have no end to it, that has a negative effect on your life. It can impact your health. It can lower your energy. It can stop your actions because you see no reason to continue trying because you feel defeated.

When you understand you and your inner drive, motivator, you will be able to recognize when something is coming into your life that will lead to your doing anxiety or depression or what ever your reaction is to stress. This could be drinking or drugs or eating too much stress relief food.

Stress relief is important indeed. It is important to keep your energy up. It is important for motivation for positive change. It is important for creating your sense of accomplishment.

Getting relief from stress will improve your health as well. When we lose stress, we increase endorphins and increase immunity against illness. You will lower your risk of heart issues and stroke. You will keep your blood pressure at a good level. You will ease the tension in your muscles. Your lungs will work freely. Your mind will work better.

There are 5 steps you can take:

1. Live a stress free life. Take control of your life. Manage your time and your day. Don’t wing it. Not having a plan makes life more stressful because you run around aimlessly. Some things may not get done. Or if it gets done it gets done at an inconvenient time which takes away relaxation and fun time.
2. Find time to relax. Some people need more time to relax than others. But everyone needs relaxation or fun time. Time is not wasted relaxing or having fun if it gives you the energy to keep going. When you feel overwhelmed, stop and take a rest. Taking a 10 minute break even during your day can make a big difference. Take a breath when you need one.
3. Determine what makes you feel significant. This is what makes you feel good about you. What makes you special or different? What is your special skill or talent? When you build up your sense of self, you build up confidence. When you embrace you, you build up a positive sense of self, and this helps you to not be brought down by the stresses of every day life. You can meet these challenges easier. The more that you do this the more confidence you will have. This will help you in all actions and change you want to make.
4. Laugh and smile. I know it may sound silly but it really does help. It is not always easy, but it gets easier with practice. Try to find the funny or crazy in any situation, and allow yourself to smile and laugh. This will help you to relax in the situation and not feel so overwhelmed. With a relaxed state of mind, you will be more capable to handle the situation.
5. You are now experienced at handling stress. Keep it going. You will find it easier to meet more challenges. You will have confidence to make changes in your life and to stick with the positive changes you create. Your health will be better. Your sleep will be better. Your energy will be better. Your confidence is better.

Enjoy!

Coach Lisa

www.facebook.com/coachLisa