Uncategorized – Page 8 – Lisa Y coaching

The Why of Mosque Attacks

A couple of weeks ago a shooting in New Zealand. A few days ago arson in California. People are searching for the answer.

Hate.

That is the simple answer. But there is more.

Before I continue, I feel it is necessary to say that I understand what is in the mind of terrorists. It is not because I share their point of view. I am a trained coach. It is my job to understand these things.

I am posting this to bring some light on this situation. I want to bring understanding. I want people to understand so that we as a society can take action that will repair the division we have in society that leads to terrorist attacks specifically on mosques.

There are four basic needs we all have. These are significance, love and connection with others, certainty and uncertainty. These four needs must be filled.

Let us take a look at the four one at a time and what and how the terrorists are trying to fill with the attacks.

Significance: These attacks are to provide a sense of significance. It gives the terrorist a sense of power. In the case of Muslims, they sense a loss of power from the Muslim faith. They sense that Muslims are taking over somehow. They are taking away the value of their own faith if they have one. They are pushing aside their own faith, and they don’t want their faith to be ignored or diminished. It is a sense that it is not acceptable to be a member of their faith anymore. They want their beliefs to be accepted.

Love and Connection: The terrorists want others to feel what they feel. What it is that they want the Muslims feel after the attack is what they feel. They feel scared. They feel on alert. They feel threatened. They want Muslims to feel that too. They don’t know why their values have been attacked in the same way Muslims do not understand either.

Significance and Love and Connection are opposite needs. When you build up one, you build up the other. In this case, by building up significance, the terrorist is wanting to connect with those he attacked.

Uncertainty: This is the need for variety. On the significance end of this, is to bring importance and purpose. On the love and connection end of this is bonding and oneness. When a terrorist attacks a mosque or anything other act of terror, the uncertainty is how will it end? It brings excitement into their life. It is an adventure.

Certainty: This is the need for control and comfort. It is what we do to end the pain in life. On the significance end of this is uniqueness. Doing an act of terror is unique. On the love and connection end of this is sharing and intimacy. This includes togetherness. The terrorist wants to share the pain they have. When a mosque is attacked, the terrorist is attempting to bring survival to their way of life which they see as being lost by the Muslim faith. It is a survival act.

What to do?

As a society, we need to let all know that they are not being pushed aside. We need to show that no one in society is less than any other. We need to make sure all in our society feels safe and secure. We need to make sure that no one loses their rights when we give rights to others. We need to not shame people who have different views.

I hope that this post has brought at least some understanding into the why of the attacks on Muslims. I hope that with at least some understanding, we can move forward to take actions to make all in society feel safe and loved and not to be forgotten. Let us move forward to include all.

Peace.

Coach Lisa

How to Heart Life

I started my coaching business in 2016. It was not long until it became obvious that almost every one could be helped with one simple system. You see, everyone has the same basic human necessities. There are only four. The key to happiness is filling these four necessities in a positive, enlightened manner.

What we need: Sense of Self this is knowing and embracing who you are. Foundation this is reliable base for self-sufficiency and control over your life. Newness this is having adventure and tying novelty in life to keep things interesting. Love and Rapport this is having people in our life with whom you have a special closeness.

How do we have these things? We discover what we really want. We use this discovery as motivation. We create an energizing action. We practice the new habit to enforce it. We use friends and family for support.

I have created a simple yet powerful system. You can find it in my book “How to Heart Life” It is available here: fastpencil.com/marketplace

In this guide you will find out what your inner drive is. That is, what is that one thing that motivates you more than anything?

You will learn more about such things as self-esteem, self-respect, and self-reliance. You will learn about patience, courage, joy and love.

You will get a better sense of how money plays a part in your life. You will learn about relationships.

You will learn about anger, apathy, anxiety, depression and so much more. You will learn about physical conditions and the connection to the mind. Find the cause of excess weight, headaches, back aches and more.

You will learn about you and others as well. Why does he or she do that?

Your knowledge will grow and the answers will come to you.

I learned from experience. I spent many years using depression as a means to help me to meet my necessities. But once I learned the information I have outlined in the book, my world opened up. The opportunities were everywhere. I have such a better and healthier understanding of life.

I learned how to release the things in my life that were not helpful. I replaced those things with positive habits and understanding. Listen, I have had times in my life when I cried all day for years at a time. So, I get it. If I could turn my life around, so can you.

The key to happiness is to take back control over your life. You can do it.

Cheers

Coach Lisa

www.facebook.com/coachLisa

Demolition for rebirth

Every once in awhile we need to do a personal demolition. We need to shake things up. When the old habits are no longer working for us, we need new habits.

The world is in a constant state of change. If we don’t change, we get stale.

Everything must constantly be destroyed in order to be reborn. We must constantly let go of everything we hold on to, in order to flow with the motion of life.

This takes letting go of the control in our life and going with the flow of our life. This can be hard to do. We are comfortable with how things are. We know what to expect. It takes the courage to let go and let the power of the universe direct you.

It also takes trusting yourself. It can be terrifying at first to surrender to the higher power of the universe. But when you do, it is freeing. It makes you feel alive. You feel excited to be on a new path with new adventures. You are a trailblazer.

Liberate yourself from your self made limitations and demolish your old paths and shake things up.

Coach Lisa

www.facebook.ccom/coach-Lisa

Peace on Earth

Especially this time of year there are a lot of requests for prayer for peace. There are posts on how to put Christ in Christmas. There are posts saying what a wonderful world it would be if we spread love, peace and respect.

These posts and sentiments are beautiful. They are uplifting. They bring hope. The main idea of trading love for hate is a wonderful dream. And frankly, I think it is possible. But not the way these posts suggest.

The idea most people have is to pray. Spread the word. Let the world know that what we need is a change of heart. And I agree with this. But I put an important twist on this.

We need to be at peace with ourselves. If we are not at peace with ourselves, how can we share peace with the world? You can’t give what you do not have.

We, as a world community, are not at peace with ourselves. We lack inner peace. We are filled with fear. We fear what is going on in the world. This is lack of the basic need for certainty. The opposite of this is uncertainty. We are uncertain what the future holds.

Ask yourself: What is not at peace in my own heart? What is my personal pain, violence, and chaos? Heal yourself. Rid yourself of these.

What do you want to change? What is preventing you from doing that?

R E S P E C T: What it means to me. To respect others is to respect our bodies and our selves. Look at what we put in our bodies. Too many people put crap in them. Too many put alcohol and drugs into them. We eat crap. Now, look at how we treat Earth. We put crap in our rivers and lakes and oceans. We throw trash in the streets. We destroy nature. When we learn to respect our selves and our bodies, we will learn to respect others and Earth.

Has the world ever been at peace? Look at the ancient writings. There are people at odds with one another for thousands of years. But that does not mean it is not possible.

Take the vow: I am willing to trust and follow my inner truth. As I do this, I will release the pain and fear within me. And in turn I will release the pain and fears of the world.

Follow through on the vow is no easy task. We are dealing with negative beliefs deep in the consciousness of humanity and are centuries old. But we can get through it. It takes each of us to recognize and experience all these fears then let them go. Then, release them. “Old fears, go and be on your way. You are not needed here anymore.” Then, replace them with the light of God, who ever your God may be. “I demand that the spirit of the light of the world replace the old fears and bring us peace.”

Healing our world. Things seem to be going from bad to worse. This is what we fear. The new “normal” is a distorted way of living. We ignore these things that have diminished our level of living. We have swept things under the rug. But you can only do that for so long. At some point in time, all the painful things of the world come to the surface. They stare us in the eye and say hello here I am. They demand to be resolved. Is it time? Is this finally the time to resolve and remove the pain in us and in the world?

The light of the world. I say yes, it is time. Why? The more light there is in the world the more darkness we see. If turn on a light in your home and it runs all day, how much do you notice it during the day? How much do you notice it in the darkness of night? See what I mean? We are so aware of the darkness because we have so much light. Isn’t that awesome?

Take responsibility for your personal fears. Deal with them. Feel the light of the world in you. And you will make a path for the light of the world to shine on the entire world.

Let us learn from what is not perfect in the world. We are all doing the best that we know how. Heal yourself. Take the vow. Do better.

Coach Lisa

www.facebook.com/coach-Lisa

Change yourself and your world changes

It seems at times that our lives are helpless. It seems that we cannot create positive change. Our lives can seem to be a mess. We can feel powerless. When this happens we often stop trying. We get the attitude of “I give up”. We do this because we are tired of trying and not being successful in making our lives better.

The answer to fixing our world starts with fixing ourselves. It starts with trusting and taking care of yourself. Gradually, you will release your old habits. You will create positive new habits. Those around you will notice and they will change how they interact with you. You will become more relaxed. You will gain confidence in your ability to overcome any issue. You will feel more powerful. Fear will be a thing of the past.

One action to take is to reveal and be frank with all of your feelings. It is important to acknowledge all the painful experiences in your life so that you can release them. It is my experience that one can hide their head in the sand only so long. At some point in time, we must face those things which cause pain. The sooner we do it the sooner we get past the pain. Only by bringing the pain to light can we solve our bad feelings. When we shine the light on the darkness, the darkness disappears.

The most important thing to remember is that transformation begins with us. When we transform our thinking, we transform our world.

Cheers!

Coach Lisa

facebook.com/coach-Lisa

Your Desert Oasis

We all thirst for love, compassion and understanding. When life really gets us down, we become stale. Our energy is extinguished and suppressed.

When it seems we are walking through the desert of life, we seek water. We see it in mirages. Is that water? Is there water over there? Water. You become desperate for the relief of heat through water.

If you feel that way, I am here for you. I will be your oasis in the desert. The water of life is yours to have. I will provide as much as you need. I will help you to become refreshed and renewed in spirit. I will refresh you to the depths of your soul. And when you have become whole and you are no longer thirsty, you will leave the desert and find an abundance of water.

Your thirst for love, compassion, and understanding will be met.

We all thirst for love, compassion and understanding. When life really gets us down, we become stale. Our energy is extinguished and suppressed.

Your thirst for love, compassion, and understanding will be met.

Cheers!

Coach Lisa

www.facebook.com/coach-Lisa

Passport to Friendship

Hello. How are you today?

Sometimes we put up barriers between us and other people. We do this when we become hurt. When people feel they have been hurt over and over again, they become distrustful. When this happens, we don’t want to let people get close to us until we get to know them better. We don’t want just anyone to get close.

When people treat us poorly, it makes us feel less significant. We feel we are not worthy of being treated lovingly and with respect. Our sense of self is diminished. And we may put up barriers to say if I am not good enough for you, you are not good enough for me. Putting up barriers gives us control over who may or may not have contact with us. This fills our need for significance.

With the use of barriers, we are protecting ourselves. Yet, the action of putting up barriers, although understandable, blocks us from our need for relationships with other people. We need to learn to trust again.

What to do? How can we pass out passports of friendship to allow people back into our lives?

All relationships start with your relationship with yourself. As you allow yourself to love and respect yourself, others will do the same. When you are willing to be intimate with your own feelings, you will become intimate with others. As you build up your self worth, others will feel it as well. How we treat ourselves is how others treat us.

I know it is hard to be open to relationships with others if you have been hurt dearly. But as much as a barrier can be protective, sometimes we should open the gates. Give people a chance. Get to know new people. Give them the stamp of approval. Give them a passport of friendship.

Cheers!

Coach Lisa

www.facebook.com/coach-Lisa

Crying and not crying over death

Crying is a very interesting topic to me. I normally cry very easily. I cry at happy things. I cry at sentimental things. I cry at touching things. I cry at sad things.

Some people have a very tough time crying. Some people think it is a weakness. I don’t get that. I think it takes a lot of courage to cry. Crying fills a need. It helps us to fill our need for love and connection to the self.

I would like to talk about crying when someone dies. This is one occasion when people not only think crying is acceptable but also expected. If you go to a funeral and don’t cry, many people may think it is unnatural.

The questions: Why didn’t I cry? Why didn’t he or she cry? Are they heartless? Who could be so uncaring? Am I a monster? What is wrong with me?

Stop it right there. You don’t have to cry when family and friends die. You don’t have to cry at the funeral. You don’t have to cry later in private. You don’t have to cry ever. I repeat. You don’t have to cry ever.

My mom was my best friend. She passed away 9 years ago on Thanksgiving. I, the crier, I don’t think I ever cried. I loved my mom dearly. I miss her every day. But I never cried over her death. I can’t really explain why.

Now, a few months later my dog died. I cried at once at her death. I fell to my knees and cried. I cried and cried. I cried for years. I did not love my dog more than my mom. I don’t know why I cried so much.

I suppose if I really tried I could try to figure it out. But I don’t have the need. The point I am trying to make is that crying is an action we are do in response to certain events. Sometimes we do, and sometimes we don’t.

If you don’t at a moment when it is expected and you don’t cry, don’t worry about it. It does not mean that you are heartless. You just don’t have the need.

Cheers!

Coach Lisa

www.facebook.com/coach-Lisa

Tasks and self worth

People don’t take time to do things anymore. We are rushing off here and there. Especially this time of year is there a lot of running around. We put so many to do things on our list that we only half-halfheartedly do it. Too often we have the attitude that is “good enough”.

My objection to this is when we do this we lower our own self worth. We tell ourselves that we are not capable of excellence. We should take pride in what we do. We should show ourselves that we are capable of doing an outstanding job at all times.

Why? Because by doing an excellent job in every little task, we build up our confidence to handle even the toughest of times.

Be grateful. What is better to have dishes to wash or not to have dishes at all? What is better to need to vacuum and dust or to not have a home? What is better to have to clean baby hand prints on the window or to not have a healthy baby learning to walk? You get the idea.

So the next time you have some little task don’t rush. Take pride in what you do. Be still in the moment. Find peace in it. And when you are done smile and nod knowing you did better than “good enough”. And when those storms of life come you will be prepared.

Cheers!

Coach Lisa

www.facebook.com/coach-Lisa

Grinch’s Grief

A very popular story this time of year is “How the Grinch Stole Christmas”.

I feel for the Grinch. The Grinch is sad. He has the same needs as anyone else. He is an outcast. He is lonely. Life is hard for him. He struggles to get through life’s trials.

I understand the Grinch.

How the Grinch meets the four basic needs:

Significance: Having the ability to take away Christmas gives him a feeling of power. It provides a sense of importance.

Connection and Love: He lacks friends. He is alone. He does show love to his pets by letting them sleep in his bed, but he seemingly has no connection with other people. He wants others to feel what he feels. He thinks that by taking away Christmas they will understand and there will be bonding.

Variety: How will this end? What will happen? How long will the pleasure of ruining Christmas last?

Certainty: I am in control. This gives pleasure to avoid the pain of my own life.

I have at one time or another felt the same things as the Grinch. I have felt lonely. I have felt like an outcast. I have felt life is hard. I have struggled. I have been envious of the joy other people had. I have wanted other people to feel what I felt.

If you feel any of these things, you can turn it around. Don’t be a Grinch.

Cheers!

Coach Lisa