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In preparation for Valentine’s Day, here are some foods to prepare.

Aphrodisiacs long believed to have the power to stimulate the senses and to stir feelings of love. The word comes the Greek word aphrodisios derived from Aphrodite the goddess of love.

You could try rhinoceros horn, hemlock or arsenic. Ha! But these are not the most palatable. I don’t know how well a dinner would go with these aphrodisiacs. Here are some better options:

Certain substances do make people more sensual. Zinc is one and that is found in oysters. Vitamin C is another. This is found in oranges. Vitamin E is found in asparagus. And my favorite phenyletylamine is found in chocolate and alcohol. Endorphins your feel good chemicals of the brain are stimulated by hot chili peppers.

Let us take a closer look at each of these foods:

Oysters: Aphrodite (Venus) was said to have emerged from the sea on an oyster shell. Must have been a heck of a large oyster. Zinc deficiency in men is associated with lack of libido. So hey, can’t hurt, but personally, I will pass.

Asparagus: This vegetable is not only high in vitamin E, it is also rich in potassium, phosphorus, and calcium. These minerals are good for hormone production. Once again, I will pass.

Chocolate: Cocoa was widely used by the Mayans and Aztecs. It was used to enhance emotions to orgiastic heights. Those must have been pretty wild rituals, huh? It is the phenyletylamine which is found naturally in the brain and helps to elevate mood. This is one thing to which I will say yes.

Avocado: This is the Aztec word for testicle. Wow! It is said to raise desire for men. The Aztecs thought it was so potent that when it was harvest time, the young, attractive girls and women who were sexually mature and suitable for marriage were not allowed outside. I guess they had to be out of sight and out of mind. Hmm.

Honey: In India, the groom is given honey on the wedding day to be ready for the wedding night. The combination of milk and honey is prescribed by the Kama Sutra to help one get in the mood for love. And good ole Attila the Hun is said to have loved honey so much that he gorged himself to death on his honeymoon. What a way to go.

Truffles: This luxury item is said to have a very special romantic quality. It is to arouse both the body and the palate. It is said that the Roman Emperor Claudius who was forced to marry the undesirable Messalina, and it took a lot of Truffles to consummate the marriage. Wow.

“If music be the food of love, play on”, William Shakespeare. So if you are planning a romantic dinner, don’t forget the romantic music as part of the right atmosphere. Make it dinner for two. Place a light pink tablecloth on the table. Add rose petals to the table. And don’t forget the candlelight and some nice champagne.

Happy Valentine’s Day

Coach Lisa

www.facebook.com/coachLisa

I find it interesting that people seem to prefer to have a logical explanation for things rather than a super natural explanation. There is magic everywhere. There are miracles everywhere. There is wonder everywhere. And love, don’t forget about love.

I will guess that people prefer to have a logical explanation because it is easier. It is something more physical. It is a part of the normal range of reality.

We have become beings that find it difficult to simply believe in magic, miracles, and wonder. We need proof of reality. And I think this is unfortunate.

You see, it takes stepping back, and opening up our minds to see the magic, wonder and miracles of the world. When you relax and clear your mind, get the clutter out, stop thinking in terms of technical explanations, you will see the amazing way things happen. You will see how the universe moves things around just to give you what you want or need.

Sometimes it takes time. It takes time because there is a lot to do. Sometimes it takes time because we have to be ready and prepared for what is coming. Sometimes things get worse. It gets worse to have you move in another direction. You have to get on the right path.

What I want you to remember is that when you calm your mind and get rid of the clutter, you will be able to see the why of things are happening. Things do not happen to you. They happen for you. Energy has to be moved around. You will see the pattern. You will see how the different pieces of your life come together in the most amazing way. You will see the magic, wonder, and miracles. You will say if such and such did not happen then this other thing would not have happened. If that stumbling block had not happened, then that answer would have never occurred to me.

As a friend of mine used to say, it is like a spit ball from God right between the eyes. Most of you would call it that aha moment.

If you see something that is beautiful and amazing, don’t dismiss it as some logical explanation. Don’t overlook the possibility it is a miracle, magic, or some kind of wonder. And when you give this beautiful and amazing thing some consideration as being supernatural think love. Because love is the energy that makes it all happen and part of your reality.

Cheers.

Coach Lisa

www.facebook.com/coachLisa

Stress is everywhere. The key to stress relief is understanding the cause of tension in your life. This has to do with your specific inner drive, motivator. That thing that matters to you more than anything. When you know this, you will be able to recognize the cause of the tension of your life. When you understand this, you will have an answer for dealing with the stress in your life.

What I want you to understand is that what stresses one person does not stress out another. It all is based on the individual’s specific survival need.

Some stress is good. It can provide motivation. It can give you the energy to act. Some people work better under certain types of stress. And when you over come that which brought on the stress, you have a great sense of accomplishment.

But if the stress is ongoing and seems to have no end to it, that has a negative effect on your life. It can impact your health. It can lower your energy. It can stop your actions because you see no reason to continue trying because you feel defeated.

When you understand you and your inner drive, motivator, you will be able to recognize when something is coming into your life that will lead to your doing anxiety or depression or what ever your reaction is to stress. This could be drinking or drugs or eating too much stress relief food.

Stress relief is important indeed. It is important to keep your energy up. It is important for motivation for positive change. It is important for creating your sense of accomplishment.

Getting relief from stress will improve your health as well. When we lose stress, we increase endorphins and increase immunity against illness. You will lower your risk of heart issues and stroke. You will keep your blood pressure at a good level. You will ease the tension in your muscles. Your lungs will work freely. Your mind will work better.

There are 5 steps you can take:

1. Live a stress free life. Take control of your life. Manage your time and your day. Don’t wing it. Not having a plan makes life more stressful because you run around aimlessly. Some things may not get done. Or if it gets done it gets done at an inconvenient time which takes away relaxation and fun time.
2. Find time to relax. Some people need more time to relax than others. But everyone needs relaxation or fun time. Time is not wasted relaxing or having fun if it gives you the energy to keep going. When you feel overwhelmed, stop and take a rest. Taking a 10 minute break even during your day can make a big difference. Take a breath when you need one.
3. Determine what makes you feel significant. This is what makes you feel good about you. What makes you special or different? What is your special skill or talent? When you build up your sense of self, you build up confidence. When you embrace you, you build up a positive sense of self, and this helps you to not be brought down by the stresses of every day life. You can meet these challenges easier. The more that you do this the more confidence you will have. This will help you in all actions and change you want to make.
4. Laugh and smile. I know it may sound silly but it really does help. It is not always easy, but it gets easier with practice. Try to find the funny or crazy in any situation, and allow yourself to smile and laugh. This will help you to relax in the situation and not feel so overwhelmed. With a relaxed state of mind, you will be more capable to handle the situation.
5. You are now experienced at handling stress. Keep it going. You will find it easier to meet more challenges. You will have confidence to make changes in your life and to stick with the positive changes you create. Your health will be better. Your sleep will be better. Your energy will be better. Your confidence is better.

Enjoy!

Coach Lisa

www.facebook.com/coachLisa

Sometimes things are out of our control. Sometimes there is not much we can do. Sometimes we need to let things play out.

This can be hard, right? It is hard to have something be happening, and not act if it disturbs you. If you want to get involved or help, and you can’t, it can be frustrating. If something is out of control, there are two basic things to do. The first thing to do is understand that this is a lesson in letting go.

Sometimes you just have to let things calm down. They will. But when things are flared up, it sometimes is best to just let the fire cool off. When things cool off, then you will be able to do something.

If the ball is not in your court, you have to wait. It is not up to you to fix it.

The second thing to do is take this cooling off time to heal. If you have been impacted by this out of control situation, heal. My suggestion is to heel to heal.

What the heck does that mean?

Heel to me means to take a step back. It means to immediately follow, but be a step behind. Stay close, but keep a step back. Keep an eye on the situation. And while you go about your business waiting for things to calm down you heal.

When you heel a situation, take a deep breath. Pause and reflect. Count to ten so to speak. This is all part of the healing process from any mental or emotional pain that may have risen from this out of control situation. Talk about it to someone if you need help to sort it out and to get another perspective.

By the time the flames have settled, the fire has cooled, now you are ready to tackle the situation. If you have done heeling, you too are calm, cool and collected. And the situation will be handled more easily.

I hope this helps.

Cheers!

Coach Lisa

www.facebook.com/coachLisa

I have become more aware of looking at how words and names are spelled to find significance or meaning.

Over time the way certain words are spelled changes. It can be from poor handwriting. It could be from spelling from how the word sounds. It can just be adding or removing letters. It is this change in spelling that makes new words.

One example is God’s luck to good luck.

Today the word and name are pilot and Pilate.

I don’t think this is a strange coincidence. I am suggesting that the man named Pilate became a pilot. The question is what does it mean?

A pilot is one who guides. A pilot is a leader. Often a pilot is to get people through a difficult course. If ever there was a difficult course in history, the decision to crucify the Son of God, this was one.

It is told that Pontius Pilate’s own son was healed by Jesus. His wife, Claudia, had become a follower of Jesus. He did not want to do it. He felt pressured to make the decision he made.

So, against his better judgement, he sentenced Jesus to death. He was the pilot of this difficult course in history.

I will leave this part of the discussion here. But I want you to become more aware of words. When you have a question of why, look at the words. Look at the word differently.

Here is another example:

A client of mine has bad migraine headaches. There are a variety of reasons for headaches. But I am having her look at it from the meaning of the word migraine.

When I look at the word I see: MY GRAIN. Grain…a small amount of something as in a grain of truth. Natural lines as in wood or paper. You want to cut paper or wood with the grain. I sense that my client is going against the grain. She is doing things her way. She is doing things in a manner that is not conventional. That is fine unless it causes conflict in your life. And I think that is exactly what is going on.

She may just be going against the grain too much making life hard to get through. Because as you know, it is hard to go against the grain.

So, that is my thought today on words and looking at other meanings or reading between the lines so to speak.

I hope this gives you something to ponder. I hope it gives direction. I hope it helps you to be a pilot in your troubled waters.

Cheers!

Coach Lisa

www.facebook.com/coachLisa

Giving somebody back the ability to smile is priceless.

And that ultimately is my goal.

Some of us, me included, seem to have a difficult time navigating through life. We get to a point in life where we fall to our knees. We put our head in our hands. We feel weak. We want to be backed but alas are alone.

We don’t want to see all those posts on Facebook with pictures of rainbows and unicorns telling us we can have that. Why? Because we don’t believe it.

We don’t want to see the posts on Facebook from our friends who are happy and life is just grand for whom life seems to be so effortless. Sure, they have bumps in the road, but it does not seem to be anything they can’t just get over quickly. These are the friends who can even lose a lot and without much effort they have it resolved and move on.

If anything, we follow groups where the leader of the group just talks on and on about how bad they feel without any real helpful information on how to get better.

Please, if you feel bad, stop following those “woe am I” groups. They are not helpful.

We are in the gutter. We are at a crossroads. In one direction, we can fall into the sewer drain and get washed away. In the other direction, we can look up and join the rest of society. That is where we want to be, right?

That is what I did. I took my head out of my hands. I stood up. I did not have anyone to back me. I had to stand on my own two feet all by myself. I pulled myself out of the the gutter.

I want you to understand that the first steps are the hardest. But once you get going in the right direction, it gets easier.

I never thought I would stop constantly crying. I never thought I would stop falling to my knees. But I have. I still feel scared sometimes. I still feel alone at times. But I am not like that all the time. And when I start to feel that way, I take a breath. I find my peace inside and continue on with my day.

Now, there was a time in my life when that last sentence would get the response of rolled eyes and think, “Oh brother”. Gag. I thought finding my peace inside was lame just like those unicorns and rainbows posts. But it happened.

I won’t lie to you either. You may be one of the individuals for who navigating through life is always going to be harder. I will always struggle. But, I have gotten to a point where, I am at peace, or I can find peace, and I believe you can also.

You can do it your self if you have the right understanding of your life. If you understand your biggest need. Or you can get guidance. There are a lot of people who can help. But, they need to understand how you feel. It takes one to help one so to speak.

I want to give you your smile back. It may not seem possible right now. But I got mine back, and I do believe you can too.

If you want my help or not, at least let me offer my friendship. OK? I have a support group. It is small, but growing. We have room for you. You can find us at: www.facebook.com/coachLisa

If you want to make a post, that is fine. One rule, no political posts.

I know someone who is behind bars for drug crimes. And he always says Smile for me. Will you do that? Will you smile for me?

Cheers!

Coach Lisa

Yes, it is that time of year again. We reflect on this last year and think about what we want to change for next year.

I personally do not make New Year resolutions. I make mine on my birthday. But if you do make them here is a little tip.

When we say I am going to _(insert resolution here)_, then we do two things. One, we make a commitment. If we do not live up to that commitment, we feel disappointed. We feel we have failed. Sigh. Two, we create a sense of need. I need to _(insert resolution here)__. When we have a sense of need, we make a mental block to actually obtaining that goal.

Yes, I know. The whole point of making a resolution is to make a commitment. But what really happens? We start out the new year all excited about the change or changes we are wanting to make. But then apathy comes in. It does for a good reason, by the way. We lose interest and so much for the resolution.

Why does this happen? We find it hard. It isn’t fun to change. It is a challenge. We put too much pressure on us to change. Now add the pressure that people are watching us because we made a declaration to family and friends we are going to do this thing. Now we have failed and not lived up to our resolution and our friends and family. Sigh.

What to do?

There are two choices. One is to not make resolutions. If you don’t make any resolutions, there is no commitment to change. There is no chance to fail. Well, that is not a good choice, is it?

What is choice two?

Make it a preference.

When we say I would prefer to (insert resolution), we are making a goal, but we are not putting so much pressure on us to make this change. We lose the need for it so we lose that block. We don’t say we must do this change. It is a preference. When we lose the pressure to do this change, it makes it easier to do the thing.

If you do it, great. If you don’t, well, it is not such a big deal. It loses the great sense of failure as when we say I am going to do this change. We are not so disappointed if we do not get something we prefer as we do when we must do or get something.

So, you may be thinking that it is an easy out to prefer rather than declare you are going to do something. To prefer is to say if I do great or if I don’t great. To me I see it as more a method of making a goal without the pressure. We don’t have to anything. When we get rid of the pressure to change, we are more inclined to make the change. When people feel pressured to change, it may actually put on the brakes.

Need motivation? Ask yourself the following questions: What will you lose if you do not change? How will that feel? What will you gain when you do change? How will that feel?

So, that is my New Year resolution advice. I hope it helps.

Cheers!

Coach Lisa

www.facebook.com/coachLisa

Merry Christmas

So, when I woke up this magical morning, I thought we need to keep the magic of Christmas going 365 days a year.

I don’t mean that people should be exchanging gifts and having big feasts. What I am suggesting is that we keep the spirit alive.

I know you have heard that before.

But give me a minute. This is a little different.

Here is how.

When we wake up on Christmas morning, we are filled with a sense of wonder. The day feels special. We feel love and peace and joy. It is a day filled with surprise and a sense of blessings.

And this sense of surprise and blessings we need to keep year round.

We need to be excited again.

One of the four survival needs we all have is uncertainty or variety. This is also the need for surprise and challenge. It is what keeps us out of getting in a rut.

Every day we need to wake up and be excited about life. The world is full of surprises and unexpected blessings. They are everywhere, but we are often too busy and preoccupied to notice.

Life is full of treasures and every day needs to be a treasure hunt. Just as a child may look under the tree for a gift with his or her name on it, we need to look around for the treasures of life. They are not hard to find, but it may take a little pointing out. (I can help with that).

So, let’s take the spirit, the magic of Christmas, the expectation of surprise and blessings and extend them out to the other 364 days of the year.

I want to make a note here. This is not limited to those who celebrate Christmas. This is for everyone. Everyone needs variety and surprise in their life. Everyone needs to find the blessings in their life. Everyone needs to feel excitement.

I know some people are thinking and shaking their heads no. They don’t have this feeling on Christmas. They certainly don’t expect to feel this way any day. Life is not happy for them. I know because I too felt this way. I felt this way for a long time. I did.

A mind can change. An attitude can change. Yes, it can. You can turn things around. Anyone can get excited about life again. It takes letting go of old habits and make new habits by leaving your comfort zone. We are not talking about huge leaps here. We are talking about small steps.

I went through a period of 3 years crying all day. Today, I am at peace. If I could do it alone, you can do it and you have me.

Cheers!

Coach Lisa

www.facebook.com/coachLisa

One of my favorite television shows is Hoarders. I am absolutely fascinated by it. I was watching just the other day and it occurred to me that people hoard habits.

When people hoard things, they don’t want to get rid of anything. They want to keep things even if they are disgusting. It could be soaked in rat urine or moldy or any number of things. But they want to keep it.

Why? Because it serves a purpose. It fills a need. In some way or another it is a comfort to have it. That is how it is with habits as well. We make habits to fill a need.

However, if the habits we make to deal with tough times in life, are on a low level, say with depression or anxiety, then it is not a long lasting solution. And so, somewhere down the line, this action or response stops working for us.

Think of it this way. When someone starts to drink alcohol to become numb, one or two drinks may do the trick. But as your body becomes accustomed to alcohol, you may need more and more to numb you from life. When you get to this point, you need something new. This is where some people turn to other stronger chemicals to numb their life.

Make sense? The same is true for the habits we make to deal with tough times. They worked for some time, but they don’t anymore. When they no longer work for you, you need to meet your needs on a higher empowering level.

But people hoard old habits as a similar manner as those who hoard things. No matter how out dated or useless this old action or habit may be, you want to hold on to it. Why? Because we think it is our only hope. We think it is the only answer. We fear that if we lose this, toss out this old habit, we we be exposed to the world defenseless. We need that comfort.

I want to urge you today to get rid of that hoard of old habits. I do understand that fear of letting go of that old habit. It is like losing an old friend. But if you want, I will be your safety net. I will take your hand and give you gentle guidance. I won’t lead you astray. I won’t let you do anything that is beyond your ability. But I will make you leave your comfort zone.

It takes going into unfamiliar territory to get where you want to be. It may take getting past the zone of fear to find your greatest peace.

Cheers!

Coach Lisa

www.facebook.com/coachLisa

If you were to look at the parts of your life as a gig saw puzzle, the first thing you would want to do is to find the four corner pieces. Why? Because once you get the four corner pieces, everything comes together.

How?

There are four survival needs. We all have them. These are similar to the corner pieces of a gig saw puzzle. These are similar to the corner stones of a building. Just as a building needs the corner stones for strength, we need to meet these four survival needs to build a strong person. But we don’t want to just meet them. We want to meet them on a high level.

And this is what I am all about. I am all about building up people. It may take breaking down the stuff that is not working for you, and replacing it with better pieces or actions.

When you have better corner pieces, better corner stones so to speak, you will see the other pieces in your life come together.

I know. It’s hard. But really, once you get in the habit of change, you see it happening more often and a lot easier. You gain confidence.

Cheers!

Coach Lisa

www.facebook.com/coachLisa