Category: Uncategorized

Wooden Bowl

Greetings~

So, you may have heard this story or some version of it before. Maybe this is the first time you are seeing it. Either way, I wanted to share it today. This is the holiday season. It is a time to reflect on the truly important things in life.

The Wooden Bowl

A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter in law, and 4 year old grandson. The old man’s hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered.

The family ate together at the table. But the elderly grandfather’s shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon to the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.

The son and daughter in law became irritated with the mess. “We must do something about father” said the son. “I’ve had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor.

So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, the grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. Since the grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl.

When the family glanced in the grandfather’s direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.

The 4 year old watched in silence.

One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked his child sweetly, “What are you making?” Just as sweetly the boy responded, “Oh I am making a little bowl for you and mama to eat your food when I grow up.” The 4 year old smiled and went back to work.

The words struck with the parents that they were speechless. Then the tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.

That evening the husband took the grandfather’s hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.

Caring for children

What strikes me about this story is that if a baby or a young child did the same things as the grandfather, the parents would have been more tolerant. Young children make all sorts of messes while eating. Parents just accept this as how they are, and simply clean up the mess.

So, why is it different taking care of the elderly? Why do we get frustrated helping and taking care of them?

Caring for the elderly

I know how hard it can be to take care of an elderly parent. It can take a lot of patience. But it takes a lot of patience to take care of a young child. So, what is the difference?

But when you love someone, it is what you do. They took care of us. We need to return the favor.

Remember, they won’t live forever. When they pass on, they are so missed. In this story, when the grandfather died, you better believe that they missed his messes. When they are gone, you want to be able to say that you did everything possible to make their final days as filled with happiness,  joy, pleasure, and comfort  as you possibly could.

Advice: make recordings of their voices before they go. And do it before they get really sick say like after a stroke. You want to remember their voice.

My very special mom died on Thanksgiving Day in 2009 after deteriorating health from a stroke 13 months earlier. I miss her so much every day. I miss her voice.

If you are taking care of an elderly person and seek support from someone who understands, you know where to find me.

Lisa Y coaching

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

Love hope friendship

Hey~

How are you?

Be a beacon of light.

You can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles four things: a rainy day, the elderly, lost luggage and tangled Christmas tree lights.

Making a living is not the same as making a life.

Sometimes life gives you second chances. Often it gives you as many as you need.

You should not go through life with a mitt on both hands. Sometimes you need to throw something back sometimes.

If you pursue happiness, it will elude you. But if you focus on your family, friends, the needs of others and do the best you can, happiness will find you.

When you make a decision with an open heart, you usually make the right decision.

Every day you should reach out and touch someone. Everyone loves to hold hands, a warm hug, or a pat on the back.

Lisa Y coaching

 

Leland’s Story

Hey Friend~

How are you?

Why I do this 

I want to tell you about Leland. And yes, I have his permission to tell you his story.  Leland is a 35 year old man. As long as he can remember he had a dream. He wanted to go into his own business.

Leland is a quiet man. He is on the shy side. He has never had a lot of friends. He is an only child. So, he has never had much of a support system.

He struggled for the last 10 years since he graduated from college to get a good job. He does not know how to present his skills very well. So instead of having that one job that he enjoys he has had a string of jobs he did not like. In the back of his mind, he had this burning desire to do something else.

He took a class to improve his skills. Which it did. Then he took another class to become certified. But making that move to announce to the public that you are in business is not easy especially when you are shy without a support system.

Leland had taken one other course. This course told how to start this business. He did all the promotional things he was told to do. So, Leland built a web site. He built a business Facebook page. He started a blog. He did all the right things.  But it seemed that his message fell on deaf ears. He reached out and no one responded. This is actually not a new experience for Leland. He tried before to start a business. He did everything he was supposed to do. Other people were making good money at it. (He knows they were) But he made nothing.

Let me remind you that Leland is very shy. So, to get on Facebook, even with only a few friends, it takes a lot of guts to say hey I am starting this business. When no one helped without being asked, he directly asked a few different times. But for some unknown reason, people just don’t want to help Leland. He felt alone and abandoned. Because, Leland is a kind soul this reaction is very baffling to him.

Co achieve

That is where I come in. He turned to me. I know that his business is a solid idea. It is needed. I believe in Leland. I became his support system. Leland is starting to renew his faith in his business. He will try new approach. I won’t let Leland quit.

First we determined his inner drive. What does he want? (And it isn’t his own business) What is filling that need now? In other words, what is keeping him from success. On top of that, he is using hypnosis to turn it over to his subconscious mind.

Right track

So, he has not succeeded yet. These things take time. But I think he is on the right track. And we will work on building a support system. Not just people who give a thumbs up on Facebook, but people who will actually lend a hand.

In the meanwhile, he has me. I am not going anywhere.

And this is why I do what I do.

Have a great day.

Lisa Y coaching

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

#unitedinpurple

Hey~

So, I want to see our Nation united. I was inspired by Hillary. She wore purple the other day because red + blue = purple.

T shirts: If you stand behind this idea of uniting as a Nation, and want to display your  support I have shirts for sale with the colors red purple blue and the words united in purple.

You can get your shirt at: www.teespring.com/united-in-purple 

This promotion ends November 20, 2016

Get UP America!

 

Elections, sports, and legal cases

Hey Friend~

How are you?

Sports

How many of you like to watch sports? My guess is most if not all. When you watch some sport like football, baseball or basketball, it can be very intense. You cheer for a team. It may be “your” team or if your team is not playing it is another team you like or it could be a team that if they win it helps your team in the ratings. If you are watching this game with people rooting for the opposing team, there can be a lot of trash talk. Each side giving the other a bad time.  At the end of the game, there is a winner and a loser.

 For the players, ever notice that there is a mutual respect for the other team’s players?  At the end of a game, like good sports, the players laugh, smile, and nod. They shake hands. “Good game” they say. They walk off the field or court as athletes who fought a good fight. Half of the players won. Half of the players lost. They went into that game knowing that is how it goes. You win some. You lose some. In the locker room, they plan to learn from their mistakes, and work on not making those mistakes again.

The fans of the losing team may not be so OK with the loss. Have you ever noticed that sometimes the fans are bad losers? They may riot in the street. They keep the trash talk going. They may actually get angry at the players for making nice with the opposing team. They are bad sports. They make a** holes of themselves. They are immature. What is the point of the riot? What ever you are burning belongs to an innocent victim. Who you are looting are innocent victims. It is not their fault your team lost.

Legal cases

In court houses, there are two sides. While the trial is on, it is a battle. Each side fights very hard to make their case. Lawyers try to trip up the other side. They try to make the other side look bad. They try to confuse the other side into saying things that hurt their case. And at the same time they try to make their side look like victims. They try to get their side to say things that will help their case.

At the end, most of the time, there is a winner and a loser. Have you ever noticed after a court case that the opposing attorneys are all friendly with one another? They are civil. They smile. They laugh. They ask about each other’s families? They know each other. Perhaps they have gone up against each other numerous times. To them, you win some; you lose some.

But the people who they represented are not always so OK with the lawyers being all nice after the case. To the people involved, they were fighting for something that may very well be life changing. They may “hate” the opposing side. Even though the case has been closed in a court house, to the people involved, it is not over.

Those who lost, well  they may not do anything. But they often want revenge. They want “justice”. They may very well think of what to do to get their justice.

Elections

Elections are sort of like sports and legal cases. There are two strong contenders. There may be more contenders, but usually, in most races, there are two. They fight hard. They tell you why you should vote for them and not for their opponent. There is a lot of trash talk. Tempers rise. Unlike either sports or legal cases, these fights go on for months. They may go over a year. They start out slowly and build up speed. At the end of the race, it becomes very intense. The supporters become very involved. After all, these candidates, more or less, represent their desires. They represent their voice. They probably don’t agree 100% with the candidate of their choice, but they agree more than disagree. Now, sometimes they don’t want either candidate. Sometimes they vote against the other person.

At the end, there is a winner and  a loser. And just like sports and legal cases, the politicians accept the outcome. The loser does not like the outcome, but accepts it. That is just politics. Sometimes you win, and sometimes you lose. The loser will talk to their supporters and say we did not win this time, but let us come together. Let us be a united community. They remove the hate speech. They are a gracious loser.  The winner will say kind things as well. They will show respect to their opponent. In a good race, they are a gracious winner.

But the supporters on the losing side are not always so understanding and accepting of the loss. They are filled with the hate that was built up over the last several months. They feel sad. They sometimes act as if the world is coming to an end. They feel despair. Just like the losing fans in the sports they may do crazy things. But why? Why do you riot? Why do you burn things? Why do you loot? Why protest? When you do these things, you are doing them against innocent victims. If you are burning someone’s property, you are hurting someone that  did nothing to you. Nothing. If you loot or the like, you are hurting someone who did nothing to you. Nothing. So, for the love of your mother, don’t do it. It is not the fault of these innocent victims that your candidate lost. So, don’t take it out on them.

The election is over

We just finished a very long and hard fought election. There was a lot of trash talk. There was a lot of hateful things said. There were a lot of mean accusations on both sides. People on both sides calling each other names. As I mentioned in my last post about 50% of our population is on the losing side. There are a lot of emotions to lose. We built up a lot of hate to try to get people to vote with us. And now, it is time to let the hate go. Listen to our leaders. Both leaders were very gracious. It is time for us to be gracious as well. Don’t riot. Don’t loot. Don’t burn. Who are you hurting anyway? Yep! Innocent victims. We the people of the United States of America voted. The results are very close. But there is a winner, like it or not. Listen to the leaders and make nice.

Just like the athletes on the losing sport team it is time to go to the locker room. Take a shower. Think about what you did well, and what needs improvement. And how you still can make a difference. Get involved in other ways. Write to Congress. Write to your Representatives and Senators. Make petitions. Do positive things.

Local activity

As I said before, we are a network of neighborhoods. Work on your own neighborhood. If we all make our neighborhood great, we will have a great nation. Once all the neighborhoods connect up, we are a nation.

If you want to protest something, protest the gangs and drugs in your neighborhood. This is, to me, the greatest threat and danger we have. How many jail cells are spent because of drugs and gangs? Most. How many lives are lost because of drugs and gangs?

Unite your neighborhoods in peace. Clean them up. Have neighborhood parties. Wen we work together to improve our little piece of the world, you will find an amazing transformation. I promise.

Marijuana

A few more states have legalized marijuana. If all else fails, have a toke with your neighbors, you’ll forget your hate. That is a JOKE.

*I am not promoting the use of marijuana or any other substance even if legal.*

Smile. We will survive.

Take care of each other.

Lisa Y. coaching

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

 

Brave to just face the day

Hey~

How are you?

Brave

So, a client of mine said she thought her husband was the bravest man she knows.

Is he a fire fighter? No.  Is he a police officer? No. Does he train wild animals? No.

He is just an ordinary guy. He has an ordinary job. What makes him so brave?

In a nutshell, he suffers from a type of mental condition that makes facing the world a challenge. And every day he throws up at the thought of facing the day. Then he goes to work.  That is a special kind of brave.

Suffering in silence

So many people suffer from something that makes facing the day difficult. You may not have any idea how hard it is for so many people to just get out of bed much less do every day things. What is easy and natural for most is a dreadful chore for others.

They don’t want to talk about it because most people don’t want to hear about it. We want everyone to “be fine”. If you tell the truth and tell people you are not “fine”, you lose people quickly. So, many people suffer in silence to keep friends.

Supportive

What to do? There is not much you can do if you don’t know. But people who are suffering do leave small clues all the time. They may show you how they have few possessions because they can’t afford them. They may tell you how they don’t use simple pleasures like heat or air conditioning. They may say they feel old. They may say how tired they are. They may not ever want to go out and do things. They may actually come right out and say something like I hate life. Or they may continually say how hard life is. They may continually say no one is there for them. (And maybe no one is there for them because people got tired of listening to them) If you have someone in your life, who says odd things or does odd things be supportive. Just let them know you care. You have no idea what that may mean.

If you are the one who feels life is a burden, and need someone to listen, you know where to find me.

Smile for me!

Yeah!

Lisa Y coaching

 

The Sumo wrestler stance, a firm foundation

Hey~

Quick post here.

Have you ever wondered why a Sumo wrestler makes the stance he does? You know the one. He comes out he raises one leg and stomps it to the ground. He raises the other leg up and stomps it to the ground. His knees are bent. He looks ready to sit down.

Why does he do that? It is more than just a position to be in to be ready to wrestle. It is a psychological thing.

It is becoming one with the Earth. It is planting ones feet squarely on the ground. They bring into them the power of Earth to give them strength. It gives them mental strength.

Think about it. They could just come out to wrestle and get in that ready stance without the ceremony of it all. They don’t have to raise their legs and stomp the ground first. But they do that in order to get a firm foundation.

A firm foundation is important. Without it, there is weakness on what ever you are building.

So, next time you want to feel powerful think about that Sumo wrestler. Raise your legs and stomp them into the ground as if you are planting yourself there. Give it half a chance, and I think you will actually feel stronger. Give yourself a firm foundation to meet the challenge what ever it may be.

Lose fear of death and live

Hey~

How are you?

July 28, 2015

What a day this was! I had moved back to California after living in Arizona for about a year. I left Arizona around midnight. I got to my new home about 6 in the morning. It was hot. My dogs were in a new home and scared. At 8 that night, I met an agent with the ATF. I have to talk to you tonight he told me. I wanted to talk on the phone, but he insisted we meet in person. It turns out it was not news to get over the phone.

So, we met at a local restaurant. I was scared. What the heck was going on? There were two agents. Someone I knew was in jail on some drug charge. That was not what this meeting was all about. What this person said is. While in jail, he told another inmate, “I have an aunt we can rob and kill.”

How did they know I was the lucky aunt? Well, while being interviewed my nephew he seemed to “forget” all about me. That is how they knew I was the target.

I went into complete shock. We were close. I was closer to him than all his aunts combined.

Survivors

We are natural survivors. Most of us will give everything we have to survive. You have heard those inspiring stories of people who had to cut off their own arm with a pocket knife. The person shot in the head and plugs the hole with their finger until help arrives. Someone who was stranded in the ocean for a week.

I like to think that if I had a life or death situation that I would fight. I would like to think that I would do anything to survive. Hopefully, I will never have to do that.

Lose fear of death and live

Why am I telling you about my death threat? Well, after I got over the shock and changed my will, a strange thing happened. I got brave.

Inside of me I found the will to live like I had never felt before! “I won’t let you kill me you ungrateful little punk!” “You will not take my things. You will not kill me.” “Neither you or your brothers or any other members of the family will inherit my money.” “I will fight you!”

 I now  feel empowered. I don’t fear death. I feel free to live. 

Fear

We all feel afraid sometimes. Fear is actually a comforting thing in a very strange way. (Sadness too by the way.) There is a part of you that says if you lose that fear you will lose the comfort the fear provides and you will die. It will kill your strength. You will lose your ability to survive. 

Fear is a liar! You won’t die if you lose your fear. Instead, you will feel more alive. Why? Because you will be meeting your survivor need on a higher level.

Getting rid of fear is not always easy. But I will tell you this, we have 4 survivor needs. Understanding those needs is the key to lose the fear and to live. You may not have had your life threatened, but you are so comfortable in keeping your fear that you don’t want to lose it. Losing your fear

What keeps you under the control of fear is personal. It is based on your inner drive. You are meeting some need on a low level. If you want to break free from that fear, you can. What it takes is to learn why you have that fear. What survivor need are you meeting?  Know that and you can know how to meet that goal on a higher level.

I would like to see you talk to your fear the same way I talked to my nephew. OK, so I did not actually talk to my nephew. I just thought those things. I have not had the opportunity to see him, and I don’t want to see him. But you can talk to your fear. Then, you can break free and live.

Summary

Now, it is the common theory that my nephew said that to be a big man in jail. And maybe he was high at the time. And now that he has been interviewed by the ATF agent, and he knows that he is the number one suspect if I die in a suspicious manner. I don’t feel all that threatened. I won’t take my guard down, but I am safe right now.

If you have a fear you would like to conquer, find out why. You need to Understand the reason, the survivor need you are meeting. You feel the fear. Then you do away with it. It is a breakable habit.

Wishing you a great day.

Yeah!

Your depression coach

Hey~

Generally sad?

Hey, So are you generally, DEEP DOWN SAD? Do you get HURT  really EASILY? Do you feel like the ONLY PERSON on Earth who feels the way you do? Does the slightest thing RUIN your ENTIRE DAY? Does that feeling sometimes last for DAYS? Are your friends AVOIDING you because they are TIRED of your “NEGATIVE” OUTLOOK ON LIFE? FEELING ALONE?

Like understands like

So, who helps people better? Can someone who has never experienced the above help you? Or can someone who has felt the same help you better?  It is my belief that like understands like.

I don’t know your story. I would like to. Your story is unique. But I understand the above. I have felt the same way. Starting at the age of 16, I started feeling that way. These feelings have come and gone over the last 37 years. But I know how to feel better. It starts with understanding your inner drives and then working on it. This includes hypnosis or deep meditation where you give your subconscious permission to change.

Think of it this way. Who understands drug addicts? Can someone who has never been addicted to drugs understand a drug addict as much as a person who has been a drug addict? OK, so, who can understand sadness/depression better? Right, someone who has experienced it. It isn’t easy.

The sadness challenge

I know being sad is a challenge. It is a daily challenge. It causes a lot of pain. It makes you feel alone. But if you understand you inner drive, you can improve. You can find a better way to meet your needs. Look, I know it sounds crazy, but being sad and easily hurt fills a need. There are better ways.

Do you ever feel that you enjoy being sad? I told my mom that I liked being sad. She said no one likes to be sad. But some people do. It makes you unique. It is comfortable.  Do you ever feel that you would stop being you if you stop being sad? It is a hard habit to break. But as I have said before like all habits it is breakable. You can start a new habit. Maybe it would be fun to be the person all your friends want you to be? Maybe it would be fun to be the person who conquered sadness?

OK well, I just wanted to throw that out there.

You know where to find me: www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

Yeah!

First world problems are problems none the less

Hey~

How are you?

First world problems

Some people seem to think that what some people refer to as “first world” problems are not problems at all. I guess if it isn’t a problem with having food and water, lack of medical care,  and I don’t know toilet paper; some don’t consider it complaint worthy.

I would agree that not having electricity for a few hours, being stuck in traffic, or having to wait in line at the post office are not life changing problems, but they are “first world” problems or irritants if you will.

First world country

The United States is a first world country. It always has been. We are so blessed. The people of the United States are innovative. They strive to improve life. They work hard to make this country be the best.

I don’t really know why other countries are third world. I don’t understand why some countries have been left behind. Either their leaders don’t have systems that allow or encourage innovation or they have no interest in being first world countries. Maybe some people are happy without all the technology.

But the United States is a first world country. As such, we have first world issues.

If it matters to you, it matters

This is my slogan. Not everyone has the same problems in life. What matters to one is of no concern to another. But if it matters to you, it matters. Just because others do not think your problem is worthy of complaint does not make it true.

I feel that if something is upsetting to you, you need to talk about it. Then, you either learn to deal with it, or you do something about it.

If you have something that bothers you, and no one is willing to listen, that is why I am here.  I am passionate about what matters no matter how big or how small.

If you have a “first world” problem, and no one else will listen, you know where to find me.

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

Yeah!