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Day 4

Day 4 of the #30daytransformation

Stay the course.

Sometimes it is fun to make things up as you go along. Have you ever gone for a ride in the car and said hey let’s go that way. And you just drive until you are ready to go home and find the road that takes you home? Well, people don’t do that so much anymore. We used to call that a Sunday drive. It was a nice quiet, slow paced drive somewhere away from it all. It is actually hard to be able to do that anymore. People are in such a hurry these days. If you try to take a leisurely drive anymore you are likely to encounter a horn, a car speeding by, and maybe a rude gesture.

Think about kids. They love to make things up as they go along. Have you ever played a game with a kid who continues to change the rules (always in their favor)? You smile because it is cute. Kids love to make up a game. I know when I was a kid we made up games. Adults don’t do enough of that.

But if you have a goal you are trying to reach making things up as you go along is not the best idea. I talked about this before in a post about “winging it”. I know someone who wings it a lot. He never worries about consequences or problems he may encounter. He will handle whatever happens when it happens. The issue I have with “winging it” is that if you gain an accomplishment with it and try to recreate that you don’t always know what you did that accomplished that. Then when you want to do it again, you can’t unless you get lucky experimenting.

It is better to have some sort of course of action to follow. It does not have to be too strict. You want a plan which is flexible. But for the most part stay the course. You don’t have to do everything in one day. But try to accomplish at least one thing every day. Take one step, one move toward reaching your goal. If you deviate from the course, you may end up somewhere else. Or at the very least you will go in a direction you don’t want to be going.

Imagine being a train. You have a track to follow. Now, the track can change, but not much, and you don’t want to get off track.

Coach

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

Day 3

Hello~

This is day 3 of the #30daytransformation

Never let your guard down.

Sometimes things are going along just as you like. Everything is right on track. You are feeling very comfortable with how things are going. You are not holding your breath waiting to see if your efforts will pan out. But then, you are blind sided.

If you play casino games you know what I mean. You can sit down at a game and it just wins and wins and wins. In just a few minutes, you turned $20 into a $100. Now, it loses a bit. That’s OK because it will hit again soon. It goes up and down a bit, but goes down more than up. Then you think come on machine you can hit something good any time now. Now, you are below that $20 you put into the machine and you wonder what happened? Then you think, I should have stopped when I was ahead. Or maybe I should have stopped 5 minutes ago.

It is baffling, isn’t it? When everything seems to be going your way then suddenly things just shift. I had a small business. It was doing fine. Then it just exploded. It boomed. I was so happy. I relaxed. I thought nothing could happen to ruin this. It was too good to be true. And it lasted for a number of months. Then, business dropped. The loss of customers was slow. At first, I thought that was just normal. I could not expect that booming business to last. But I did not pay so much attention. But I let my guard down, and suddenly business was low. It was lower than it was before the boom.

I was so comfortable with how well the business was doing; I failed to watch it as closely as I should have. I was not in control. The business was on cruise control. And it suffered. It did not die, but it lost a lot of life.

So, no matter what you do don’t let your guard down. Don’t get comfortable with good times because you never know when the tide will change. When it does, and it more than likely will, you want to be ready in order to prevent too much loss of a good thing.

This does not mean don’t enjoy the good times. And it does not mean you should have a negative attitude. It means be in control of your life and everything in it or else they may control you.

Coach

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

Day 2

This is Day 2 of the #30daytransformation.

Be ready for anything.

I remember a job I had at a dry cleaners many years ago. My boss was adding credit card machines. I had a handful of “what ifs”. The other lady who worked there also had a few questions. My boss had the attitude that we were worried over nothing. He may have been right. But, that was my mindset at the time. I thought of all the possible things that could go wrong.

It isn’t that I expected things to go wrong. I just wanted to know what to do if something went wrong. I wanted to be ready for anything.

I have never been a person who likes surprises. I like knowing what is on the other side of the mountain, round the curve, or the end of a book. Yes, I am that person who peeks at the end of a book to see how it ends.

Sometimes I am good at thinking on my feet. I have on occasion been able to handle some sort of an emergency with some quick thinking. I have done what had to be done to handle a situation. And frankly, I like doing that. I like being the one who jumps in to help.

Sometimes I am not that good at thinking on my feet, and I don’t want to get stuck not knowing what to do. More, I don’t want to have something happen and I get baffled in the moment and feel temporarily helpless. I don’t want to go home and that night and replay the scene in my mind again and again thinking what I should have said or done.

I know that no matter what happens there is always an answer, a remedy to solve a problem or issue. I know that things always work out. But if something happens and I don’t have a ready response I tend to get flustered and frustrated.

To me, life is just a lot easier if you know what you would do if something goes wrong or the unexpected happens. Now, this may seem like negative thinking. It may seem as if I expect things to go wrong. This is not the case at all.

Think about the police, the F.B.I. or the fire department. These people train for everything. They think about how they would respond if things were to go wrong or if something unusual happens. This is what I am talking about.

If you are taking on a new challenge, then, think about the hurdles that may come up. There will be hurdles. And the best way to get over them is to be informed. Know what to expect. Think through the entire process of what ever it is you want to do. What is step one? How do you do that? What is step two? How do you do that?

You can’t think of everything. I have had things happen, and it is so hard to believe that that happened because you never “in a million years” would have seen that coming. Some things are just unheard of. But if you think about the answer to other hurdles, you more than likely have a good response for this unexpected hurdle and get right back on track.

So be ready for anything, well almost everything.

Coach Lisa

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

30 day transformation

Hey~

So, today I want to start a program I call 30 Day Transformation.

Before I start I want to make a purpose statement for this blog:

I love helping and inspiring people. If I can help or inspire someone with just one post, that would be so wonderful. I do have my passions sadness/depression, care for caregivers, addictions, hoarding, and pets. My mind is always going with ideas. I am inspired every day on all sorts of subjects big and small.

I also am a coach for those who need a little more guidance than a post provides. It is a general belief by coaches that people have the answer in them, and that it is the job of the coach to give any needed guidance to bring forth the answer.

So in this 30 days of transformation posts, I want to give an outline of getting out of your comfort zone. What I want to accomplish here is to give a general outline for a way to make change in your life if that is something you want.

These 30 posts are not meant to be all the answers, but rather a starting point. If you can take the thoughts provided here and make a change from that, good for you! But if you get even a little inspired to make a change I am available to provide that extra guidance.

So, here we go.

Day 1:

There is talk of zombies taking over the world. The image is of people with outstretched arms grunting. But isn’t that how we really are? Well, we may not walk with outstretched arms and grunting, but how much thinking do we do anymore? We are so often on cruise control. See more of this here: http://www.ctacoaches.com/lisay/2017/06/08/get-out-of-the-rut/

We have our comfort zone. Think of mice not wanting to leave their little hole in the wall. Don’t take that wrong. I did not call you mice. These little mice have heard of the world out there. But the world past the familiar is scary. We know how to get through the maze of our lives. It is easy, but we often do it without thinking. How often have you been driving somewhere and thought, “Wait where am I going?” when you missed your turn. But then again staying in the comfort zone can be uncomfortable. It can be restless. We may not think we are doing enough. We want to try different things, but doubt creeps in.

I think one of the best things to do is to try to do one challenging thing every day. What is one thing you would like to try to do that you have not tried? This can be something as simple as going to a bar, restaurant or movie alone. But you should take one small step toward change every day no matter how small. Once you get comfortable with many small steps you can move up to bigger challenges.

If you have been following along, you know that I have challenged myself to a new exercise program I developed myself. It is a modified military exercise program. The first day I was so sore. I was sore immediately after doing 100 push ups. I could hardly move my arms. And my chest hurt. But today, I did 200 push ups and my arms and chest don’t hurt at all. I worked through the pain. That makes me smile. It makes me feel as if I accomplished something. I earned that pain. I was used to push ups, but in the past I would do 30 at a time.

The point is that doing new things may be painful in a way. If it takes you out of your comfort zone, you will feel uncomfortable. If you were to say, go to a restaurant alone, you may feel everyone is looking at you in a judgmental way. Probably not. People don’t really pay as much attention to us as we think. Who knows? Who cares? You did something new. Good for you!

Suggestion: Once you accomplish that challenge reward yourself. You worked through the pain. And really, it was better than having an operation without anesthesia, right? So, give yourself an ice cream or something.

There you go. That is lesson 1.

Now, go do something new.. anything.

Coach Lisa

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

P.S. Do I have to remind you to not do any dangerous stunts? I didn’t think so because if I did I would have to write a disclaimer. You know like don’t do anything dangerous or illegal.

What do you want?

Story number one: So, once upon a time a politician was canvassing neighborhoods. She was walking a quiet street. This street had no curb and no side walk. So, as she went door to door, she promised that if elected she would make sure there would be a curb and sidewalks.

But, that was not enough to convince people to vote for her. It actually turned some neighbors off.

Story number two: So, once upon a time a product an older couple had malfunctioned and ruined their rug. They contacted the manufacturer and let them know. The manufacturer felt terrible. They offered the older couple some money. “No”, answered the old couple. They offered them more money. “No”, answered the couple. They made every offer they could, and the answer was always no. Finally, the manufacturer asked, “What do you want?” “We just want a new rug”.

Moral of the stories: The politician assumed that everyone wanted curbs and sidewalks. It never occurred to her that some people like their street just plain. Maybe they liked the more rural look. Maybe they just had no need for the curbs and sidewalks.

The manufacturer assumed that people want a lot of cash. It did not occur to them that a simple replacement of the old rug would suffice.

The point: Unless we ask what people want, it is not always best to assume that we all want the same things. Think about it. Do you value certain things and you have a friend who does not value them at all? Sometimes people want less than we want to offer and sometimes they want more. The best way to help people is to start with asking, what do you want?

Think about married couples and what happens when they want different things in life. Many refer to that as “growing apart”. (FYI The key to helping in this situation is what I call RAT: Relationship Acceptance Training where people, married couples, friends, siblings, co-workers etc. learn to accept each other rather than change each other, but that is a topic for another day).

Some people know exactly what they want. Others may only have a general idea what they want, and may need help defining it. (There is a simple exercise called 7 Levels Deep that can be very helpful in defining a goal or desire. I can share that with you if you want.) Whatever the case may be, I have one question for you, What do you want?

Then I ask this: If you could meet those goals, what is that worth to you?

I will let you think about that, and I will leave you with this last thought, I have had negotiation training. That is where I learned to ask what do you want before making any offers.

If you want that 7 Levels Deep exercise, let me know: www.facebook.com/lisaylife coach

Coach Lisa

Goals

What are your goals?

If you could meet those goals, what is that worth to you?

Let me know.

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

Coach Lisa

Exercise for mind body and spirit

Hey~

So I am starting a new military style exercise program. I have modified military training for civilians. More importantly for a 53 year old woman.

A little about my exercise history. So, I have been a on/off gym person for years. I am currently not a gym person. I have been away from the gym since last November so about 7 months. I still keep up my long walks. My bike needs work. So I am not riding right now. I also have been using free weights.

In general, I consider myself to be in relatively good shape for a 53 year old woman. I do a fair amount of yard work that gives me a lot of exercise. That includes building a rock garden one bag of rocks at a time. It includes putting out who knows how many stepping stones. And then there is the tree trimming, lawn mowing (part of which is done with a push reel mower), and leaf raking. But I want to be in better shape. And hey, it is a lot harder to keep in shape after 40, but not impossible. And frankly, eating right is not enough.

Here is my thought. There are a lot of physically fit people out there. But who, as a whole is more fit than the military? So, I examined their exercise programs and determined the basics of their fitness program. I narrowed it to 12 exercises. Don’t worry. We don’t do them all every day. No, we mix it up. I came up with a 30 day program that repeats. Some we do nearly every day and some only a couple of times in the 30 day period.

As I said. This is modified for civilians, but that does not make it easy. But, it isn’t military hard either.

If you are looking for a new exercise challenge, I invite you to join me.

Disclaimer: OK, so I really don’t want to have a disclaimer, but it is unfortunately necessary. You are familiar with the disclaimer. It goes something like this: You should consult a physician before starting this or any other exercise program. Anyone following this program assumes full responsibility for their safety. Do not continue if you sense you will be injured.

OK so there you go. If you want to follow this program, there will be 30 posts to give you the daily routine at www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

Hey, if you give it a go, and like it, let me know.

Tired?

There is a lot of that going around.

You just keep going and going, but to where? Does it seem as if you just can’t find your get up and go? I know that feeling well.

What is your motivation? It isn’t a big mystery. You know what it is, but you may not be aware of what it is. But it isn’t all that complicated. There are only four options.

What is your why?

Are you uncomfortable with your life? Has your comfort zone become uncomfortable?

You had a goal. It isn’t going the way you wanted or expected. And now you are tired. You are too tired to try any more. Why? Because motivation only lasts a very short time. Then you slip back to your comfort zone. Which, is now uncomfortable because you are back where you started. Unaccomplished.

Think about it. Every December 31st most of us make a resolution. “Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life.” February 1st, what is your thought now? Are you smiling right now? Are you nodding in agreement? Are you asking what is the answer?

Mental toughness. It isn’t that hard. Really. There are three easy steps. Change routine, attack idea, become the new you.

OK. I will let you think about this. I will leave you with one last thought. You can. I can help.

Cheers!

Coach

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

Get out of the rut.

Hey I hope all is well with you.

I know it has been awhile since I have been here. I have been very busy. I also took a little vacation.

I am working on some very exciting things right now. One is a new program. It is a 30 day plan to transforming any life. So, keep your eyes open.

Here is a preview:

I am a creature of habit, and I bet you are too. It isn’t a bad thing. It helps to have a routine to make sure things get done, right? But on the other hand it makes one a zombie. We are pretty much on autopilot.

Have you ever driven a car with the cruise control on? You don’t pay so much attention to the traffic do you? You just steer. Sometimes you are just cruising along and suddenly you are suddenly right on the bumper of a sower vehicle in front of you. Or maybe you suddenly are coming to a place where you have to turn off the cruise control and it seems odd having to control the speed of the car manually. When your life on cruise control, you aren’t improving. And that is OK too, if you are happy with your life as is. And that is OK. If you are happy with your life, good for you!

Another thing about routine, is that is isn’t very stimulating. Your mind gets pretty lazy when you do things the same all the time. I make a point of doing even little things differently just to keep my mind busy keeping up. Every month I move my watch from the left wrist to the right wrist and back to the left. It takes a while to remember which wrist. Then when I am used to the location of my watch it is time to switch again.

Life is not a play, movie or television show. There are no dress rehearsals. There are no “do overs”.

Just as much as we need to train our bodies we need to train our minds. Working on getting better as a person is a big part of that. Sometimes we have to get out of our comfort zones to grow. That uncomfortable feeling only lasts for a little while. Then you get used to the new situation or new way of being.

To grow do one uncomfortable thing every day. You will learn to combat your fears. As you do, you will build up your confidence. You will also learn that what ever you feared would happen was all in your mind.

So, go out there and shake it up a little.

I have been reinventing my coaching business. It is still under construction. But I will be free to help transform lives again soon.

And from now on I am simply COACH. But I did keep my facebook page the same. So, you can find me at www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach.

OK keep tuned. I will be back soon!

Cheers!

Coach

Why of Mass Shootings

So, there was a mass shooting in San Diego.

Why? There are so many speculations.

The questions are:

Random?

Mental illness?

Despondency and debt?

Distraught over the breakup with his girlfriend?

Nope. It was not any of those things. They may be factors. But they are not the reason.

Don’t complicate things. EVERYTHING, YES EVERYTHING comes down to four survival needs. These are connection, significance, variety and certainty. These four things are what drives people.

So, what makes someone do such a thing? What makes someone shoot innocent people? Well, it varies from person to person, but for people who do these sort of acts this is the general idea:

Variety: How will it end?

Certainty: Need control. Fear of losing control. Depression.

Significance: The need for meaning, importance, purpose. Anger.

Connection: The need to connect with others. Feel what I feel.

So, what does this mean to us? How does this help? We always ask questions after such an event to understand what causes it so we can see the signs and perhaps prevent it from happening again. Right?

The signs were there. The family said he was spiraling downward. No one expected he would do this. Who would expect that? Unless someone has a history of violence, most of us would not expect someone to do such a thing.

Let me make one point very clear here. No one is to blame for this, but the man himself. Maybe family and friends tried to help him. That information is unknown. Maybe they tried and now think they should have tried harder. Once again, this information is unknown.

So, what could have prevented this? It is hard to say without knowing the main motivator in this case. But we must not ignore the signs. The things this man experienced were devastating to him. While many of us would have taken these sort of disappointments in stride, he did not.

I think the only thing that could have helped was recognizing that this man needed help. He needed help with looking at his life in a better light. He needed to meet his needs on a higher level. Sometimes things get very out of balance. When someone seeks one need too much, then they ignore the opposite need.

So many times people say really odd things sometimes. Maybe they talk about death. Maybe they talk about not feeling loved. They may talk about being a loser. They may put themselves down a lot and not in a funny way. Maybe they talk about feeling trapped. If someone you know says some very odd things, take notice. It may be a cry for help.

Show them their life is out of balance. Give them ideas on how they can meet their needs in a positive way. Help them feel secure. Give them challenges. Help them to care about and love themselves. Create a support system. Get them around people who can support the change. If you don’t know how to help, talk to someone. Talk to some sort of counselor.

Questions to ask someone who needs help to motivate them to change:

What will you lose if you don’t change?

How will that feel?

What will you gain if you do change?

How will that feel?

Encourage them with this:

With change they can be a whole person. They can ditch the pain and substitute it with pleasure. When we can’t take the pain anymore, that is when change occurs. Everything comes down to getting pleasure to avoid pain. The choice is theirs.

Lisa Y. Life coach