Uncategorized – Page 16 – Lisa Y coaching

I coached my coach

So, for a few years I have had my own life coach. (We all need someone). She has not been able to do much coaching lately because of migraines. I tried to talk to her last week, but she was physically not able.

The funny thing is this. I woke up that morning, and I sensed she needed me this time. The plan was to get her input on something I am going through then help her. I gave her situation a lot of thought on my morning walk. I came up with what I thought was going on with her. Now, normally, a coach will lead the client to the answer. But I took a different approach with her. I analyzed her situation and came up with the situation and solution I felt would help.

I got very disappointed I could not talk to her. I felt bad that her migraines were so terrible. I went through a period of time when I had migraines so I understand to some extent what they are like. But mine were never as bad as her migraines, and mine have since stopped. I also felt bad that I could not coach her.

Too sick to talk on the phone, I sent her an email. I have to tell you that it felt like a very bold move to coach my coach. I really admire her. I think she is very wise. Who was I to coach her? It felt like an amateur coaching a pro. But I put on my coach’s hat and told her what I thought was going on in her life and what to do.

I sent the email, and really wished to not get a response. I thought she might disagree with my diagnosis and solution. Well, after a few days, there was a quick response on Facebook: My message helped. Thank you.

I was so pleased. She said she had not yet responded to the email due to feeling so disabled. But that she would go into detail later. I was pleased because I helped someone. Not only that, but someone I admire. I helped my mentor. She is the sort of person you don’t think needs any advice or coaching. She seems to have all the answers. I mean she seems to know everything. But we all need help sometimes. She probably does not get a lot of advice from those she coaches.

Last night she made quite a post on Facebook. She talked about how she feels about things. I made a reply. She replied that I was the reason for this post. And she thanked me again. I felt so proud to have helped. I know that my one coaching email made a difference to my coach, my mentor. I look forward to finding out more of how it helped when she feels able to let me know.

In the meanwhile, I know this: I coached my coach and my coach won, and so did I.

You see, a relationship between a coach and a client is partnership between equals. Your victories are as much your coach’s victories. Her feeling better about things makes me happy. To know that I helped warms my heart and brings a smile to my face.

Anyway, I just wanted to share that success story.

Cheers!

Coach

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

United we stand divided we fall

Hating those who hold different opinions from oneself is not tolerance nor enlightened. It is bigotry.

Wanting no one to express opinions other than yours is not Freedom of Speech. It’s the antithesis of tolerance, enlightenment, and openness.

There is a good reason people have lived in clans, tribes, and communities, with the single most focus being cooperation for the betterment of the whole. There is a good reason animals live in packs. It’s called survival.

UNITED WE STAND. DIVIDED WE FALL.

The division we are experiencing, perpetuating, and co creating, at this time is causing Mankind to fall. Mankind— not just society.

It exhausts us, which opens us up to much easier manipulation by the Negative Forces.

People are feeling it. Animals are feeling it. The hatred and animosity feeds the Dark, empowers The Dark.

Hating a person, place or thing is in no way productive, except for empowering The Dark.

We can have tolerance, compassion, sympathy, empathy, and love for what we don’t like and don’t agree with, and still FOCUS on BUILDING , instead of HATING and TEARING DOWN.

The only *one* who wins when we hate and send hate and aggression is The Dark.

The protests against free speech need to end. We all need to be heard. Understanding comes from hearing different points of view. If you disagree, great, but speak your mind in a positive way, and not by silencing the voice of others.

A tense person is wrapped up in himself, his immediate family, the events of his past, the prospects of his future, or how he is regarded by others.

What does this tension do? It grips. It causes a stranglehold of the channels within him. It cuts off thinking. It is useless for such a person to relax physically as long as he continues to center the mind upon himself. The stranglehold will be there every minute, day and night. When we to love others as our selves, the attention will be focused outwardly, and therefore we will become relaxed. There will be no stranglehold within and the mind will become free.

Open your minds to other points of view. You don’t have to like their opinion. You can express your point of view, but let speech be truly free.

Cheers!

Coach

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

Fixing a mistake

Do you remember when you were a kid and something “terrible” happened? Do you remember you thought the world was coming to an end? You thought that the only answer was to move to a new house and go to a new school?

Well, maybe you felt that way, and maybe you didn’t. But when we are young school kids we often think things are really bad sometimes and not fixable. If you ever felt that way, did you tell your parents about this terrible thing and they just did not freak out? Then, they told you everything would be OK. You were doubtful, but then it was.

When we were children, we did not have the understanding that our parents had. We did not have the wisdom and understanding of time. Time heals if you give your mistake time. Things may not work out as quickly as we would hope. We are having a crisis and perhaps a melt down, and we need this mistake to work out now. Right? We want the bad stuff behind us so we can go back to enjoying life. It may be painful to wait sometimes, but this pain is temporary and it will go away.

Even as adults we can feel the way we did as children. We make big mistakes sometimes. We do something unbelievable, don’t we? You think later “What was I thinking?”. I just went through that thought process this week. When we get so wrapped up in a mistake, it is really hard to think straight. We may feel like that small child who thought the world was coming to an end.

If you are lucky, maybe you can go to your mom or dad and tell them what happened, and they can reassure you it will be OK. You may be doubtful, but trust in them. They did not freak out. Maybe they did not understand the level of “terrible” your mistake was?

But maybe they did not freak out because of their perspective. Things always seem worse when they happen to us.

If you can’t go to your parents, find someone to tell. It may be bad, but it probably is not be as bad as you think. But you need another perspective to see the answer. It may take another person to help you to calm down.

The first step is to define the problem. The next step is to figure out how to reverse the problem. If only life had a reset button, am I right? Unfortunately, in life you can’t just *Control Z* and undo the mistake. Then start taking the steps to solve the problem. Don’t try to fix it all at once. I know you are eager to put it behind you and forget it ever happened. But take it step by step. Only then will you fix it properly. If you have to you can do a quick solution to stop the problem from getting out of control. Put a bandage on it if you will. But once you stop the problem from getting out of control sit down and calmly figure out what to do.

For example, for a pipe leak, turn off the water to the house before you call the plumber. See what I mean? Turning off the water will not stop the problem. But you don’t want the house to be flooding while you call the plumber.

I have a brother in law who taught me that that everything works out. He is so optimistic all the time. (It is really quite annoying sometimes.) But seriously, he told me “Everything always works out.” And it does.

If you have no one to turn to, you know where to find me.

Cheers!

Coach

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

Are you a big dog or a little dog?

I get inspired every day. I have two large dogs. They are both 90-100 pounds. I found them at the dog park and could not resist. This is not the first time I found dogs at the park, but this time I had to take the abandoned dogs home. Why? I don’t know. I guess they were extra special. I am so glad I did.

Dogs are funny. You have the little dogs who act tough. And maybe, just maybe they will bite your ankle. You also have the big dogs who are very sweet. They have no idea what they are capable of doing as far as protecting themselves or anyone from harm.

My dogs are big barkers. They act tough, but really shy away from strangers. Now, I don’t know what they would do if really threatened, but I don’t think they have any idea how intimidating they really are. Most uninvited guests would stay out of the yard and house.

When they get scared, they hide in my bedroom, by the door to the garage or at my feet. I will say,”Don’t be afraid. I won’t let anyone hurt you.” As I do that, I think how silly that is because they should be giving me comfort at the scary stuff. I tell them, “Do you know how scary you are? Do you know what you can do to a bad guy?” I know that they could really hurt someone if they were so inclined, And they aren’t so inclined. They don’t seem to get how big and powerful they truly are.

So, I consider all dogs to be guide dogs. They teach us all sorts of things. I don’t know how many times I say things to my dogs that I could say to me or to other people. So, it occurred to me last night when one dog was hiding in the bedroom that sometimes people are the big dog that is gentle and has no idea how much power and capability they really have.

Is that you? Is there something you want to do, but get that big dog mentality and think I can’t do that? I think I will just bark a little then go sit somewhere safe. Maybe when you were barking you thought better of the idea and decided maybe it was risky chasing after what ever it was that you wanted? Or maybe you thought it would be too hard to do?

If you have that big dog mentality, what to do? Find someone who will encourage you. In the same way that I try to ease the minds of my dogs and tell them they are so capable, find someone who can see your potential and help you to see it. Figure out the risks of chasing down that thing that you want. Then figure out how to overcome those risks. Do not overwhelm yourself with the “what ifs”. Because in the end you want the little dog mentality. We want you to charge after it without realizing the possible danger, the “what ifs” and go ahead and chase something big. We want you to grab the world by the ankles until you bring it down.

Big dog, you, yes you, can do it. You are so much stronger and capable than you know.

Stop chasing your tail!

Coach

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The Why of Hurricane Harvey

First of all, prayers and well wishes to those who have been hurt by Hurricane Harvey. I can’t imagine what that is like. An event like this is a terrible catastrophe. There is loss and devastation beyond my imagination. I have seen the aftermath of flooding, but I am sure what I have seen does not compare to this.

The Why of Hurricane Harvey.

What it isn’t.

Some people have been downright mean to say things like they deserve it or I can’t feel sorry for them because the state of Texas as a whole voted for Trump (about 52% of the votes). Or they don’t believe in climate change so this happened. So ha ha this is climate change’s revenge or some such nonsense.

That is just stupid. I can’t believe that people can actually think such a thing, or be so cruel. What kind of people can be so mean? Really now.

And it has nothing to do with any God of any faith. There is no loving God that would do this.

What it is.

A lot of times people speculate as to why this occurs. Well, it is simple. It is a natural occurring event. Hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes are natural events.

Country unity.

Aside from the mean spirited out there who hate Texans for what ever reason, this is one of those things that unites us as a people. People all over this land are tying to think of ways to help. How can I help? People all over see there is need and want to help. Money is being raised. Items are being donated. At least one company has shut down beer production and bottled drinking water. People bring out their boats and help others.

People are helping strangers. No one cares about the color of their skin. No one cares about religion. No one cares about for whom they voted. No one cares about any of that.

People need help. That is all people are thinking about. People who are doing the best they can to make it in this tough old world have been caught up in a *Texas sized* natural disaster. This will take a lot of time and money to restore things to get things back to normal. They are people. We don’t have to classify them. Black, White, Latino, Asian,rich, poor, Christian, Jew, Muslim, who cares?

Do we need a disaster?

Why does it take a disaster to unite people? Every time there is a disaster a flood, fire, earthquake or terrorist attack we come together. We care. We look around wondering how to help. Good for us! But why wait for a disaster?

Every day in every community, in every neighborhood, someone needs help. We don’t look away. We don’t look. We don’t seek to help. Heck, it could be just a kind word to someone who may be tired.

I am not suggesting that you go out and knock on doors to find people in need. But get to know your neighbors. Talk. Get to know them. Pick up small clues like a yard that is run down. Pay attention to people when you are out and about. Does that stranger look sad? Then, smile and ask if you are so inclined. Is someone struggling to carry a package to their car? Then help them. It only takes a moment. Some of the best moments I have is when strangers offer to help me when I have a load of rocks or stepping stones to load into my van. Is someone taking care of a sick relative or even a sick pet? Maybe they could use a little break? I know I did when my mom was sick.

The idea is it only takes a small gesture of kindness to make a difference. We are all doing it the best we can. We can all use a little help from time to time. And don’t care about the sex, religion, skin color, or a voter registration card. Just do what you can.

Community unity.

I have said it before. We are just a nation of communities that form cities that form counties that form states that form a nation. If we all make our community the best it can be, then our nation will be too.

Don’t wait for a disaster.

Thank you.

Coach.

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What is your reason for being?

Why does the world need you?

You are here for a reason. Want to know why? Let’s figure it out.

How would you describe yourself? Mind gone blank? Let me help. Are you honest? Kind? Smart? Outgoing? A leader? Energetic? Athletic? An expert on food? Love movies? Love books? You get the idea.

What are your values? Honesty? Equality? Peace? Love? Being prompt? Giving 100%? Service to others? Fairness? Fitness? You get the idea.

What do you represent? Tough one? I know. Balance? Open mindedness? Fairness? Hard worker? Frankness with others? Friendship? Dependability? Resourcefulness? You get the idea.

What do you want to embody? Kindness? Helpfulness? Patience? Consideration? Tolerance to all? Acceptance of differences? You get the idea.

Now put it all together. As you can tell, all of these things overlap. And they all come together as your reason for being and why the world needs you. It does so like this:

Reason for Being:

That which you are good: your passion: what you love = your mission

That which you are good: profession: that for which you are paid = vocation

That which the world needs.

In other words:

That at which you are good = reason for being and why the world needs you.

It is that simple. There is no need to ponder the meaning of life.

What is my purpose? See above.

Have a great day!

Coach

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

Grateful? What’s important?

Every now and again we sit back and look at our lives and take inventory of all of our blessings. Your blessings hopefully include:

The people in your life that give love and support. The job you have that provides the money to pay the bills. The good health you enjoy. The home that provides shelter, safety and security.

What about the other things? What about the things you don’t have? These could include:

People wanting to do you harm. Being in an abusive relationship with others. Having a very sick relative. People being generally mean to you.

It is easy to see the good we have. It isn’t always easy to see the bad we don’t have. The bad we don’t have is also something for which to be grateful.

Take a moment and answer these two questions:

What are you most grateful for in life? What good do you have and what bad do you not have?

And what is important to you?

When we answer these questions, we build a better life.

Cheers!

Coach

Let me know what your answers were.

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What is that problem telling you?

Do you have a problem or difficulty?

Then the question is: What is it trying to tell you? What are you needing to learn?

Some people think that the bad in their life is the result of our doing something bad. They may falsely blame it on karma.

Some people think that is just life. There are ups and downs. There are positive things in our lives and negative things in our lives.

But I think it is the world trying to teach you something. The answer may not be so obvious, and that leads to frustration. Because if you don’t get the message, how can you respond properly? If you don’t answer properly, then you can’t get that annoying problem or difficulty out of your life. Or you get it out temporarily and then like a boomerang it returns.

Has that ever happened to you? It has to me.

What to do?

You need to understand the message.

Hard to believe but the message may be the opposite of what it seems.

Example:

I know someone who is very lonely. It makes her feel very sad. It makes her feel very rejected and unusual.

So what does being lonely say? Does it say she needs to learn social skills? Does it mean she should go out and socialize? No. The message is that she needs to learn about herself. The result of being shy and socially awkward has lead to few friends. So, her company is her own self. She spends a lot of time learning about her.

She is also very near sighted. What does that do? She sees what is near. She sees her life. She can’t see what lies *out there*. See how it all works?

Your message.

So if there is a problem or difficulty in your life, look at the opposite of what it is. That very well may be where the message lies. Once you decode the message, the answer will follow.

I hope that helps.

Cheers!

Coach

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

What would you change?

So, if you were to reincarnate, what would you change?

Would you be a different type of person? If so, how?

Would you want the same people in your life? With whom would you want to go through life again? With whom would you not want to go through life again?

Would you be kinder?

Would you eat differently?

Would you exercise more?

Would you do the same work?

Would you live in the same city or town?

Why wait?

If there are things you would change if you were to reincarnate, why wait? Change those things now.

If there are things you would want to be different, make them different now. Want a different job? Change jobs. If you don’t like certain people in your life, why are they in your life? If there are people in your life you love in your life, don’t lose them. If you want to eat healthier or exercise more, then do it.

Your relationships.

If you have people in your life that are not positive in your life, you should break free of them. Don’t keep negative energy in your life. It is not as hard as you might think. And those who are positive keep those relationships alive. Many relationships take work so don’t go too long without spending time with those who are beneficial to your life.

Habits.

The things you do or don’t do are all habits. What you eat, what you drink, your activity level etc. those are all habits. You made them. You can break them. You can make new ones.

Your work.

That is a bit harder to change. If you would need to get a degree and that is out of reach, then find something in that field that you can do. You don’t have to do it over night.

It isn’t that complicated.

So many people feel they are not “living up to their potential”. Or they wonder what type of work they should be doing. They don’t like this and they don’t like that. Should I date him/her? Questions. Questions. Questions.

It isn’t that complicated. You know what your passions are. Do that. If you wonder if you should be with someone, probably not. If you wonder if anything is right or what you should be doing, probably not. Let go and move on.

As the old expression goes: If it feels good, do it. (But probably not if it involves something illegal).

The answers are in you. You already know what makes you happy. You already know what you want to do and what you don’t want to do. So, do what makes you happy. Be with that person who makes you happy. Trust yourself. You don’t need approval. But if you want approval, talk to someone positive in your life who can be supportive.

Make your here and now the life of your dreams.

Cheers!

Coach

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

Attention Deficit Disorder

Why are there so many people with attention deficit disorder?

This has become a growing *condition*. More and more you hear people saying they have it or their children have it. But it wasn’t a thing when I was a kid. So why now?

Let us look at what it really is. It is not the ability to keep your attention on things. It is trying to keep your attention on too many things. People today more and more try to multi task.

Let us start with multi tasking. People feel they have so much to do that they have to do more than one thing at a time:

Talk on the phone and work on the computer. Work on the computer and keep up with social media. Cook dinner and help kids with homework. Drive and talk or text on mobile phone. You get the idea. Many people brag about how well they multi task.

The problem with this is that you are not focused on either thing. You are not really doing one or the other. You are on auto pilot. You are a zombie. You are not really using your mind at all. You are just going through the motions. Hey, I do it to. When I drive to the grocery store, for example, I am not thinking what street I am on or when to turn. I just drive.

You know the old saying: If you can’t do it right the first time, you don’t have time to do it a second time. And that is the problem with multi tasking. We are not concentrating enough to do things right or well. We rush through things. I know. You have a lot to do, and you think you can’t get them all done unless you do two or even three things at once. But is that really true?

I don’t think so. How can you really do a quality job trying to do multiple things at the same time? Actually, if you were to do just one thing at a time, you would be focused on that task. You would do it better and more efficiently. Then you can move on to the next task.

People do not have trouble with their attention abilities. They do have trouble with giving attention to more than one thing at a time.

What to do? How to become more attentive.

You need to find the time to practice being mindful. You can find the time. Two exercises:

Exercise one:

When you are eating, eat one thing at a time. Take a bite and put your fork down. Don’t start picking out the next bite. Eat the one in your mouth first. Don’t even look at your plate. If you are fortunate enough to be enjoying a meal with at least one other person, look at them. Enjoy that food. Now, after you have swallowed that piece, go ahead and pick up your fork and get the second. Why?

You are training your mind to do one thing at a time. When you start picking at the food on your plate for the next bite you are living in the future and not the present.

Exercise two:

Sit quietly. Close your eyes. Concentrate on your breathing. Now, try to count 20 breaths. In and out. In and out.

This simple exercise helps to build up concentration.

Can you build up your concentration to 60 breaths?

Over all tip:

Concentrate on what you are doing in the moment. Don’t be thinking about other things you have to do. Stop rushing through everything. Trust me. Taking your time when you do anything you will do it better and faster than if you try to do two things at once.

If you are washing dishes, wash the dishes. Don’t think about the laundry that needs folding. Don’t think about the dusting that needs doing. Don’t think about the television show you want to watch. Do one thing at a time.

A few simple changes and your attention abilities will grow.

I hope this helps.

Coach!

Cheers!