Uncategorized – Page 12 – Lisa Y coaching

Change yourself and your world changes

It seems at times that our lives are helpless. It seems that we cannot create positive change. Our lives can seem to be a mess. We can feel powerless. When this happens we often stop trying. We get the attitude of “I give up”. We do this because we are tired of trying and not being successful in making our lives better.

The answer to fixing our world starts with fixing ourselves. It starts with trusting and taking care of yourself. Gradually, you will release your old habits. You will create positive new habits. Those around you will notice and they will change how they interact with you. You will become more relaxed. You will gain confidence in your ability to overcome any issue. You will feel more powerful. Fear will be a thing of the past.

One action to take is to reveal and be frank with all of your feelings. It is important to acknowledge all the painful experiences in your life so that you can release them. It is my experience that one can hide their head in the sand only so long. At some point in time, we must face those things which cause pain. The sooner we do it the sooner we get past the pain. Only by bringing the pain to light can we solve our bad feelings. When we shine the light on the darkness, the darkness disappears.

The most important thing to remember is that transformation begins with us. When we transform our thinking, we transform our world.

Cheers!

Coach Lisa

facebook.com/coach-Lisa

Your Desert Oasis

We all thirst for love, compassion and understanding. When life really gets us down, we become stale. Our energy is extinguished and suppressed.

When it seems we are walking through the desert of life, we seek water. We see it in mirages. Is that water? Is there water over there? Water. You become desperate for the relief of heat through water.

If you feel that way, I am here for you. I will be your oasis in the desert. The water of life is yours to have. I will provide as much as you need. I will help you to become refreshed and renewed in spirit. I will refresh you to the depths of your soul. And when you have become whole and you are no longer thirsty, you will leave the desert and find an abundance of water.

Your thirst for love, compassion, and understanding will be met.

We all thirst for love, compassion and understanding. When life really gets us down, we become stale. Our energy is extinguished and suppressed.

Your thirst for love, compassion, and understanding will be met.

Cheers!

Coach Lisa

www.facebook.com/coach-Lisa

Passport to Friendship

Hello. How are you today?

Sometimes we put up barriers between us and other people. We do this when we become hurt. When people feel they have been hurt over and over again, they become distrustful. When this happens, we don’t want to let people get close to us until we get to know them better. We don’t want just anyone to get close.

When people treat us poorly, it makes us feel less significant. We feel we are not worthy of being treated lovingly and with respect. Our sense of self is diminished. And we may put up barriers to say if I am not good enough for you, you are not good enough for me. Putting up barriers gives us control over who may or may not have contact with us. This fills our need for significance.

With the use of barriers, we are protecting ourselves. Yet, the action of putting up barriers, although understandable, blocks us from our need for relationships with other people. We need to learn to trust again.

What to do? How can we pass out passports of friendship to allow people back into our lives?

All relationships start with your relationship with yourself. As you allow yourself to love and respect yourself, others will do the same. When you are willing to be intimate with your own feelings, you will become intimate with others. As you build up your self worth, others will feel it as well. How we treat ourselves is how others treat us.

I know it is hard to be open to relationships with others if you have been hurt dearly. But as much as a barrier can be protective, sometimes we should open the gates. Give people a chance. Get to know new people. Give them the stamp of approval. Give them a passport of friendship.

Cheers!

Coach Lisa

www.facebook.com/coach-Lisa

Crying and not crying over death

Crying is a very interesting topic to me. I normally cry very easily. I cry at happy things. I cry at sentimental things. I cry at touching things. I cry at sad things.

Some people have a very tough time crying. Some people think it is a weakness. I don’t get that. I think it takes a lot of courage to cry. Crying fills a need. It helps us to fill our need for love and connection to the self.

I would like to talk about crying when someone dies. This is one occasion when people not only think crying is acceptable but also expected. If you go to a funeral and don’t cry, many people may think it is unnatural.

The questions: Why didn’t I cry? Why didn’t he or she cry? Are they heartless? Who could be so uncaring? Am I a monster? What is wrong with me?

Stop it right there. You don’t have to cry when family and friends die. You don’t have to cry at the funeral. You don’t have to cry later in private. You don’t have to cry ever. I repeat. You don’t have to cry ever.

My mom was my best friend. She passed away 9 years ago on Thanksgiving. I, the crier, I don’t think I ever cried. I loved my mom dearly. I miss her every day. But I never cried over her death. I can’t really explain why.

Now, a few months later my dog died. I cried at once at her death. I fell to my knees and cried. I cried and cried. I cried for years. I did not love my dog more than my mom. I don’t know why I cried so much.

I suppose if I really tried I could try to figure it out. But I don’t have the need. The point I am trying to make is that crying is an action we are do in response to certain events. Sometimes we do, and sometimes we don’t.

If you don’t at a moment when it is expected and you don’t cry, don’t worry about it. It does not mean that you are heartless. You just don’t have the need.

Cheers!

Coach Lisa

www.facebook.com/coach-Lisa

Tasks and self worth

People don’t take time to do things anymore. We are rushing off here and there. Especially this time of year is there a lot of running around. We put so many to do things on our list that we only half-halfheartedly do it. Too often we have the attitude that is “good enough”.

My objection to this is when we do this we lower our own self worth. We tell ourselves that we are not capable of excellence. We should take pride in what we do. We should show ourselves that we are capable of doing an outstanding job at all times.

Why? Because by doing an excellent job in every little task, we build up our confidence to handle even the toughest of times.

Be grateful. What is better to have dishes to wash or not to have dishes at all? What is better to need to vacuum and dust or to not have a home? What is better to have to clean baby hand prints on the window or to not have a healthy baby learning to walk? You get the idea.

So the next time you have some little task don’t rush. Take pride in what you do. Be still in the moment. Find peace in it. And when you are done smile and nod knowing you did better than “good enough”. And when those storms of life come you will be prepared.

Cheers!

Coach Lisa

www.facebook.com/coach-Lisa

Grinch’s Grief

A very popular story this time of year is “How the Grinch Stole Christmas”.

I feel for the Grinch. The Grinch is sad. He has the same needs as anyone else. He is an outcast. He is lonely. Life is hard for him. He struggles to get through life’s trials.

I understand the Grinch.

How the Grinch meets the four basic needs:

Significance: Having the ability to take away Christmas gives him a feeling of power. It provides a sense of importance.

Connection and Love: He lacks friends. He is alone. He does show love to his pets by letting them sleep in his bed, but he seemingly has no connection with other people. He wants others to feel what he feels. He thinks that by taking away Christmas they will understand and there will be bonding.

Variety: How will this end? What will happen? How long will the pleasure of ruining Christmas last?

Certainty: I am in control. This gives pleasure to avoid the pain of my own life.

I have at one time or another felt the same things as the Grinch. I have felt lonely. I have felt like an outcast. I have felt life is hard. I have struggled. I have been envious of the joy other people had. I have wanted other people to feel what I felt.

If you feel any of these things, you can turn it around. Don’t be a Grinch.

Cheers!

Coach Lisa

www.facebook.com/coach-Lisa

The Habit of Joy

Problems are a part of life. What makes the difference in life is how we handle them. Everyone has a go to response. Some people keep calm and accept the situation for what it is and focus on the solution.

Some people get discouraged right away. All they can think about is having this new issue they need to resolve. They may be instantly discouraged. They may be instantly frustrated. They don’t feel like dealing with a problem. They want to live in peace and this is stealing that peace.

For some, this will bring on their go to response of depression. The questions come up. How bad will it be? How long will it last? What am I to do? Why do things like this happen?

If this sounds like you, this post is for you. Problems are inescapable. If you do not go into problem solving mode too readily, it is because you lack certainty of what is happening or you feel a loss of control. You are frustrated. You feel burdened.

What to do? Make joy a habit. Wait, give me a moment. Hear me out. When you feel discouraged, frustrated, overwhelmed or any similar emotion, remember that you have gone through problems before and you can get through this as well.

Take a moment and get perspective on this. What do you want? What needs to change? What is preventing you from making the necessary actions to make the change? When you answer these questions, the solution will reveal itself. No really, it will.

When you are on your way to resolving the problem at hand, stop and make joy a habit. Be joyful for the ability to make your situation better. You warrior you! You are victorious in life.

Everything is a habit. Make joy a habit. It takes practice. At first, it takes effort. But like anything, it will get easier and easier.

Cheers!

Coach Lisa

www.facebook/com/coach-Lisa

Finding Peace

Many people who see others being at peace with the world think that they are doing something wrong. Why are other people so happy and I suffer? Why do I feel sad and lonely? Where is my peace?

First let us look at why you feel not at peace with yourself and the world. It has nothing to do with self-discipline or willpower. It is not a matter of having a bad attitude. It is all about something uncertain or out of control in your life.

If you lack peace in your life, you are feeling needy. You feel left out. You have gone down a path of hardship. Your abilities seem to be irrelevant and your weaknesses dominant.

So what is the path to peace? The first step is to understand what is uncertain in your life. What do you want? What is it you want to change? What is preventing your getting that?

The answers to the above probably are not what you think. What you want is certainty in something or control over something. What you want to change is having certainty and or control. What is preventing that is the fear and uncertainty of change. Now, answer the questions again.

When you discover the answers, you will reveal the answers. When you change your focus from the problem to the answers, you see all sorts of opportunities for improvement in your life.

This will lead to the prospects of peace and joy. You will lose the pain and find the comfort you seek. You will begin to wake up in the morning with hope and anticipation for a happy life. You will find more pleasure.

If you need help, I will gladly take you by the hand and provide gentle guidance.

Cheers.

Coach Lisa

www.facebook.com/coach-Lisa

Big Brother House Guests and You

Hello house guests.

I always wanted to say that. Move over Julie Chen.

So, I love Big Brother. I am fascinated by the people. I am also fascinated by the reaction people have to what is going on inside. Let us examine a few house guests.

Rockstar. Do you get her? I do. I understand her so much it isn’t even funny. I understand why she cries so much. I understand her feelings toward Brett. I understand her frustrations with life. Why? I have been there.

Now a lot of people would be embarrassed to admit that. I’m not. Why? Why should I? We all have different coping skills. We have different means to handle life’s hard times. What matters is conquering these low methods of dealing with life and find empowering alternatives.

If you are like Rockstar, if you want to do better and be lifted up, I can help you. Why? I understand. Been there done that and got better.

Bayleigh. Can you relate to the outburst she had at Haleigh’s house meeting? I do. I understand that so much it isn’t even funny. Why? I have been there.

If you are like Bayleigh, if you want to do better and be lifted up, I can help you. Why? I understand. Been there done that and got better.

See a pattern here?

Brett and Angela. Never been these two, but I have dealt with these two types before. They are people who will do anything to get what they want. They mostly don’t care who they hurt. They rarely if ever apologize.

They let you think you are friends. Did you hear Angela’s good bye message to Bayleigh? She said something like we connected on a personal level, and I hope we can be friends on the outside. Really? Angela wants to believe that because she wants to be that way.

People like Brett and Angela know what society values and try very hard to convince people they have those values. And , sometimes they actually exhibit those values, but I don’t think they are ever 100% genuine.

If you have ever been hurt by a Brett or Angela type or have that type of person in your life and want help dealing with that type of individual, I’m your coach.

Everyone else. So,I don’t have the time and space to discuss everyone. I do have thoughts on everyone else. So, if you relate to one of the other house guests or if you have one of the other house guests in your life, and want to either learn to be empowered or deal with a certain personality, let me know.

Cheers!

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

Being nice and popularity

So someone said to me the other day regarding people not liking her, “I’m nice”. She could not understand why people don’t like her because she is nice.

I understand the frustration. I go through that too. I do nice things and it seems no one cares. It is baffling.

The reverse can also be true. Some people who are not nice can have a lot of friends.

That is really frustrating. I know people who are down right mean, but have a lot of friends.

Now don’t get this wrong. Some people do have a lot of friends and are nice at the same time. But they don’t have popularity because they are nice. It is all about personality.

Summary: Being nice does not mean that people will like you and just because some people have a lot of friends it isn’t necessarily because they are nice.

Popularity has more to do with personality than being nice.

Issue One: You are nice and have few friends.

So, if you are nice and have a hard time making friends, what do you do? Well, if you don’t have a lot of charisma, it takes a little more effort.

I suggest you think about something you really enjoy when you interact with others. What makes you come alive? If you are thinking about that, you will be more relaxed and that makes people more charismatic.

I also suggest what I call the Mona Lisa smile. You place the tip of your tongue to the roof of your mouth. I know it sounds strange, but it actually works to make you feel happier and joyful and that will give you a bit more charisma.

Issue Two: Popular people may not be as nice as you think.

As I said before, some popular people are genuinely nice. But some may not be nice. Get to know people before you trust them based on their popularity.

Some people know how to get people to like them. They know just the right thing to say and do to get you to trust them and like them. Then they manipulate others. It may be nothing much or it could be something that turns your life upside down.

I trusted the wrong people a time or two. And my life got messed up and it took a lot of work to make it better. I thought they were nice because they were so personable. So, be careful.

Take care!

Coach