Category: Uncategorized

Believe in America

Believe in America

Over the last two or three decades or so we, the citizens of the United States of America have become more divided.

Why have we not been able to get together as a nation to resolve our differences?

It’s clear that the true problems of our Nation are deep. But they can be mended.

First of all, we have no leader. I would say leadership, true leadership has been absent for the last 25- 30 years. The loyalty of the heads of our government is gone. There is no coming together for the common good. Every one in the government is doing what will help a small segment of society and not the Nation as a whole.

This is supposed to be a government of the people. But it isn’t. Who feels connected to policy makers anymore? Sure, you can tweet, buck who is really connected?

We need to learn to love each other. We are all part of this Nation. Our Nation is facing a moral and spiritual crisis. I believe in the decency and the strength and the wisdom of the American people.

I want to talk to you right now about a fundamental threat to American democracy. What we lack is belief in America. Without leadership, we the people of America feel lost. We have lost our belief that America is the country we thought it was. We are tired. There is growing doubt about the meaning of our own lives and in the loss of a unity of purpose for our Nation. There is erosion of our belief in the future is threatening to destroy the social and the political fabric of America.

The belief that we have always had as a people is not simply some romantic dream or a proverb in a dusty book that we read just on the Fourth of July. It is the idea which founded our Nation and has guided our development as a people. Confidence in the future has supported everything else-public institutions and private enterprise, our own families, and the very Constitution of the United States. Belief in American ability has defined our course and has served as a link between generations. We’ve always believed in something called progress. We’ve always had a faith that the days of our children would be better than our own.

Our people are losing that faith, not only in government itself but in the ability as citizens to serve as the ultimate rulers and designers of our democracy. As a people we know our past and we are proud of it. Our progress has been part of the living history of America, even the world. We always believed that we were part of a great movement of humanity itself called democracy, involved in the search for freedom, and that belief has always strengthened us in our purpose. But just as we are losing our confidence in the future, we are also beginning to close the door on our past.

In a nation that was proud of hard work, strong families, close-knit communities, and our faith in God, too many of us now tend to worship self-indulgence and consumption. Human identity is no longer defined by what one does, but by what one owns. But we’ve discovered that owning things and consuming things does not satisfy our longing for meaning. We’ve learned that piling up material goods cannot fill the emptiness of lives which have no confidence or purpose.

The symptoms of this crisis of the American spirit are all around us. People believe that the next 5 years will be worse than the past 5 years. People do not even vote. The productivity of American workers is actually dropping, and the willingness of Americans to save for the future has fallen below that of all other people in the Western world.

There is a growing disrespect for government and for churches and for schools, the news media, and other institutions. is a warning. These changes did not happen overnight. They’ve come upon us gradually over the last 20- 30 years.

We were sure that ours was a nation of the ballot, not the bullet. We remember when the phrase “sound as a dollar” was an expression of absolute dependability. But our Nation has been wounded. These wounds are deep and they need to be healed.

Looking for a way out of this crisis, our people have turned to the Federal Government and found it isolated from the mainstream of our Nation’s life. Washington, D.C., has become an island. The gap between our citizens and our Government has never been so wide. The people are looking for honest answers, not easy answers; clear leadership, not false claims and evasiveness and politics as usual.

What you see too often in Washington and elsewhere around the country is a system of government that seems incapable of action. You see a Congress twisted and pulled in every direction by hundreds of well-financed and powerful special interests. You see every extreme position defended to the last vote, almost to the last breath by one unyielding group or another. You often see a balanced and a fair approach that demands sacrifice, a little sacrifice from everyone, abandoned like an orphan without support and without friends.Often you see paralysis and stagnation and drift. You don’t like it, and neither do I.

What can we do?

First of all, we must face the truth, and then we can change our course. We simply must have faith in each other, faith in our ability to govern ourselves, and faith in the future of this Nation. Restoring that faith and that confidence to America is now the most important task we face. It is a true challenge of this generation of Americans.

We’ve got to stop crying and start sweating, stop talking and start walking, stop cursing and start praying. The strength we need will not come from the White House, but from every house in America. We know the strength of America. We are strong. We can regain our unity. We can regain our confidence. We are the heirs of generations who survived threats much more powerful and awesome than those that challenge us now. Our fathers and mothers were strong men and women who shaped a new society during the Great Depression, who fought world wars, and who carved out a new charter of peace for the world.

We ourselves are the same Americans who put a man on the Moon. We are the generation that dedicated our society to the pursuit of human rights and equality. And we are the generation that will rebuild the unity and confidence of America.

We are at a turning point in our history. There are two paths to choose. One is a path that leads to fragmentation and self-interest. Down that road lies a mistaken idea of freedom, the right to grasp for ourselves some advantage over others. That path would be one of constant conflict between narrow interests ending in chaos and immobility. It is a certain route to failure.

All the traditions of our past, all the lessons of our heritage, all the promises of our future point to another path, the path of common purpose and the restoration of American values. That path leads to true freedom for our Nation and ourselves.

T shirts: teespring.com/wearbelieveinamerica

What I have to say to you now is simple and vitally important.

We have the most skilled work force, with innovative genius, and I firmly believe that we have the national will to win this war. I do not promise you that this struggle for freedom will be easy. I do not promise a quick way out of our Nation’s problems. Frankly, the only way out is an all-out effort. We the People of the United States of America will lead the fight. We will not wait for the government. We will act. There are no quick answers. We can’t just reboot the system. These wounds have been a long time in the making, and they will take to to mend. Little by little we can and we must rebuild our belief in America and the principles upon which we built our nation. We must open the windows to the past and see where we left the path of greatness. Where did it all go wrong? Let us summon all the great minds. For, we can succeed only if we tap our greatest resources-America’s people, America’s values, and America’s beliefs. I have seen the strength of America in the inexhaustible resources of our people. In the days to come, let us renew that strength.

In closing, I urge you to get involved. Get your voice heard. Whenever you have a chance, say something good about our country. With God’s help and for the sake of our Nation, it is time for us to join hands in America. Let us commit ourselves together to a rebirth of the American spirit. Working together with our common faith we cannot fail.

Thank you.

Coach

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

 

Need to vent?

We all feel frustrated. We all feel the need to vent. It is nice and best if we can direct our frustration to the subject of our frustration. But sometimes that is not always possible.

Maybe we are frustrated at the loss of a loved one. Maybe we are frustrated at life in general. Maybe we are frustrated that a loved one was careless and got hurt in a car crash. Maybe we are frustrated at the waste of food at a restaurant or store. Maybe we are frustrated over a lost opportunity. There are many things that frustrate us.

For some things we can’t vent our frustration, and it builds up in our lives. The stress of it all gets to us. Then, when we least expect it, we blow up and our frustration comes out in an unexpected and inappropriate way.

What to do?

If you have a frustration, and have no way to express it, talk to me. You can yell and scream at the universe, but the universe will not give you feed back. The universe listens, but does not respond. And you really need that feed back. You need that back and forth communication.

What does this do?

This gets this frustration off your chest before it builds up and you blow your top for some unrelated incident. It helps you to sort through whatever it is that is upsetting to you. It also gives you peace of mind.

Invitation

If you need to vent to someone or something, and have no way of doing it, vent to me. I am a very good listener.

If not, find someone who is willing to listen. But I warn you, most people do not want to listen to someone vent. And sometimes you don’t want others to know what you think or feel, and talking to someone like me is a lot safer.

Vent

If it is with me or someone else, vent. Get that frustration off your chest. You will feel a weight lifted.

Cheers!

Coach

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

Shed your skin

If you are not happy with the life you have in order to change your life, you have to get rid of the one you have.  If life is not going according to plan, then maybe you are going down the wrong path. It may be time to change your path and go toward the life that is waiting for you.

Shed your skin.

The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come. Sometimes we have to get rid of the old ways  for inner growth. We must die and let go of what we are before we can enter into our next stage of growth. It is a rebirth. Some people think this is a difficult  process. But it really is not.

But, who would ever want to go through the death of everything they know? This is not something that comes because we are seeking it. It erupts upon us. We have no choice but to shed our old skin or die.

Habits

Life is about habits. We built our lives by making habits. We made them. We can break them. We can make new ones.

We create habits to fill a need. When the habit stops meeting a need, you can break it and change it. Then you make a new habit that is an empowering alternative.

When life is not going well and is especially difficult, you are going in the wrong direction. Your current habits are getting in the way. You need to find a different action to meet your goals.

Open up.

A woman opened up to me. I had her in a deep relaxed state. I had her mind be free of clutter. I had her tell me what came to mind. She started talking about all sorts of things. Then she thought about her mom. Her mom is deceased. They had been very close. They were highly dependent on one another. Now that her mom was gone everything had changed. She realized for the first time in several months how that dependence on another was both a blessing and a burden. As she talked her demeanor changed. It was like a huge weight had been lifted. She was shedding her skin.

By opening up, people can release the old skin and give the new skin a place to grow. She knew something was different after her mom had passed, but until that moment, she was not understanding the transformation. She did not know what she was experiencing.

When we have a change of perception, we can see a new world that was invisible to us before. Once we shed our old skin, we can never go back. That’s the indication of real spiritual growth.

Cheers!

Coach

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

3 reasons not to watch the Oscars

The Oscars are a big event for those who love movies and love celebrities. Women especially love to see what the women are wearing. Who is with whom? What tidbit of gossip can be obtained? But I think the Oscars, along with other similar programs, are bad for the emotional state of of our nation.

We already have enough negativity being tossed around out there. The Oscars have become political. And politics is a very negative thing.

People who are very influential think that a celebration is a time to speak their political minds. I think that is sad. The Oscars should be a fun event not polluted with politics.

Here is what I mean.

The speeches. Speeches at an award ceremony should be about making a dream come true. They should be about who supported the winner emotionally and psychologically. It should be about those who taught them how to improve their talent. It should be about who guided them and their big break.

What many speeches will be about or at least include will be their political opinion. And it won’t be positive. It will be people spreading 3 negative things.

3 negatives. I predict the speeches will be spreading hate,  racist and  intolerant for other points of view and opinions. This is so harmful. For those who agree it will get these people all stirred up and spread this negativity. For those who disagree it will make them angry and they too will be stirred up to fight against this negativity. What this does is feed the fires that are tearing this country apart.

By watching the Oscars, many people will be all stirred up and tensions will grow. We need to put these fires out not have them flare up by listening to these depressing and negative speeches.

So, if you do watch the Oscars, please keep this in mind, and don’t get wrapped up the negativity these negative people and their speeches pour into the universe.

Rise above. I urge you to rise above. If you do watch this award program, watch it for the fun things. Watch for the fashions. Watch for the gossip items. But put the negativity aside.

Cheers!

Coach

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

 

Oh Heavens!

Way back when, saying the “F” word and giving the gesture that went with it was not common. It was actually not very common at all. In my growing up days that was a very bad word. Even through my college days, it was not something I heard regularly. To me, only the lowest of the low said that word and made that gesture.

There was a time that that word and gesture were used to provide shock. It was what one did to insult. It was done to let someone know that you thought they were not worthy. It was used to put others down. It was a statement.

But today, it is common, really common. It is so common today I don’t even know why it is considered a “bad” word anymore. It is not shocking to hear it. The word and the gesture are pretty much meaningless anymore. It can actually used as a joke today. I have seen people use it today to say something like “shut up”,”leave me alone” or “I don’t care what you have to say”.

Why it is bad and why we need to stop using it.

I have to stop right here and say I have never liked the word or the expression. I think it is not only rude, but violent and filled with anger. I think using it makes one more angry. Even though it is common it still has enough anger behind it to make it a negative force in society. That negative energy is out there.

Frustrations.

We get frustrated with others. We get frustrated when we have an “incident” while driving. We get frustrated when someone pesters us. We get frustrated when we get poor customer service or have a lot of steps to get through to have a problem resolved.

In today’s world the “F” word and gesture are the “go to” response. And even though they don’t have the impact they once had, they still put anger into to the world.

What to do?

I suggest using a friendlier word. I know it sounds silly. But is it silly? My suggestion is the expression “Oh Heavens”. Yes, that is my suggestion. It’s a fun thing to say. It is rare. And it is a nice alternative to a very rude and violent word and gesture.

Be a trend setter. Start the “Oh Heavens” trend. I dare you.

Cheers!

Coach

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

Not a Mind Reader

One of the biggest problems with communication is assuming the person or people you are talking to are thinking what you are thinking. We can clearly have the subject of our comments clearly in our head. We know what we are saying. But sometimes those who hear our words or perhaps even read our words don’t know what you are thinking.

Here is an example:

Yesterday a very dear friend of mine was very upset about the “children who had been abused”. “What children?, I asked. “Don’t you read the news?”, was the response. Well, she then got specific about which children had been abused. Once she clarified which children the conversation was fine. But until she had specified which children, I had no clue to whom she was referring.

Why this is important:

First of all, I was a bit upset with my friend for getting angry with me for not knowing “the children”, and seemingly upset with me for not being up on current events. It is a current event, but not as if it happened say the day before. Why was she angry with me?

Second of all, is the bigger issue. I don’t know how many times I have been talking to someone, and I thought what I was saying was as clear as can be. Just to have the other person make a comment or a question which made it clear we were thinking two very different things. I have always bee baffled as to why they were thinking something very different.

The reason they were thinking something very different is because they were not mind readers.

Falling on deaf ears:

This is sort of like talking to someone who is hard of hearing. Have you ever talked to someone who is hard of hearing and they can’t seem to understand anything?  Or have you ever tried to hear someone whose speech is hard to understand? You ask “what?”, and they repeat what they said and you still do not understand. At this point you have to ask again, or just nod and smile and hope they did not ask you a question. Both of these situations are very frustrating.  This is true when someone in a conversation thinks others are mind readers. Because when you have had a conversation go sideways you have choices. Start completely over by clarifying first or giving up on the conversation all together.

Why this matters:

This leads to mixed communication and misunderstanding. It can lead to frustration and hurt feelings. My friend knows I read the news. I read the news more than she. But for a moment, just a moment, she was frustrated  over my “lack of knowledge” and her need to “clarify which children”. I had temporary hurt feelings that she thought I was uninformed about current affairs. Now this was a short lived issue that was over as soon as I knew which abused children.

But take this to other scenarios. This could be an employee and his or her supervisor or boss. This could be a customer at a business. This could be a comment made just about anywhere. Think about how misinformation gets spread on social media. Think about how quickly anger flares. People start pointing fingers and calling names. And sometimes it can be over a simple misunderstanding because of poor communication.

When people are thinking two different things, things can get ugly. Has this ever happened to you: “You said xxxx”. “I did not”. “You did so”.  And what happened? Quite often that sort of “communication” leads to fights between family members, friends, co-workers, neighbors etc. It can lead to people not talking to each other and not interacting well, if at all, with one another. You  know what that is like. Tensions grow. It gets worse. Sometimes one person will break the ice and they clear the air by understanding what was really meant by understanding what the other person was thinking.

What to do:

If you are having a conversation with someone, make sure you understand each other. Make sure you have the information right. Don’t just smile and nod and hope they did not just ask you a question. And if someone says something you find hard to believe, get clarity. You may not be understanding them correctly.

Once I had a conversation that went sideways. The other person get very angry with me, and I had no idea why. So, I asked. She explained. I clarified what I had said, what I was thinking.  In the process of clarification I said I didn’t mean “that”. And she said something that stayed with me all these years. She said, “It doesn’t matter what you say, it matters how it is interpreted.” So keep that in mind. If others are getting the wrong idea, it may be because they are not a mind reader.

Cheers!

I hope this will help you to prevent misunderstandings and relationship issues or if nothing else help you to see where communication broke down so you can keep your relationships healthy and happy.

Coach

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

 

Oath to Humanity

Oath to Humanity

I vow to fulfill, to the best of my ability and judgment, this covenant:

I will respect the footsteps of those who teach the art of humanity. I will respect their wisdom.

I will live my life in partnership with all humanity.

I will gladly share my wisdom with those who choose to follow in my footsteps.

I will not provide any means for another to hurt themselves when they feel hopeless.

Nor will I suggest any means to do self harm.

I will aide others and do acts of kindness within my ability.

I will will share warmth, sympathy, empathy, and understanding to all fellow human beings.

I will respect the privacy of others and will not spread rumors or personal information.

I will remember that I am not helping an inferior person, but a human being that is doing the best they can, and has had a difficult time.

We all need someone to lean on from time to time. I will not be ashamed to ask for help when I am unable to take care of my needs. I will accept help when I need it for me and my family.

I will work to prevent hardship for others for it is easier to prevent hardship than it is to fix.

I will remember that I am a member of society, with obligations to all my fellow human beings, those who are doing well and those who are not.

If I do not violate this oath, may I enjoy life. I will be respected while I live and be remembered with affection thereafter.

May I always act so as to build up the human race as a calling and thus may I experience the joy of assisting those in need.

This post can be found at: www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

Cheers!

Coach

Confidence made Easy

Hey~

Some people have natural confidence. One of the things I admired about my mom was her confidence. Even when she did not know how to do something, it did not stop her. I too have a lot of confidence. I think I can do all sorts of things. I am not always right, but it does not stop me from trying.

People don’t have confidence sometimes. If they don’t know how to do something, they don’t want to try.  People don’t want to try something if they will fail or think they will fail. Why bother?

The thing about confidence is that we all have confidence in certain areas of our lives. There are things we have tried so we have confidence in that. You know whether or not you like sushi for example. You know if you like roller coaster rides. There are also things we have studied. You know if you are good at computers. You know if you are good at repairing a car or preparing a meal.

But then there are the unknown things. Would I like this or that? Would I be good at this or that? Can I do that job? In this list of unknown things, you want to do this or that. Perhaps you want to start a business. But you don’t have the confidence to try. Perhaps you want to play a sport. Perhaps you want to start a band. But you lack the confidence to do it.

What to do?

Confidence is easy. 

Think of something you excel at doing. What are you really good at doing? What do you love to do? When you do that you have a natural confidence, right? Right. OK so now just use that natural confidence you have in that and apply it to this new thing you want to start doing.

It is that easy.

When you are doing or tying something new and feel reserved just imagine that thing you have mastered in your life. Imagine doing that. You will feel confident.  Now smile. That helps everything. Smiling adds relaxation and confidence. An extra tip about smiling… keep your mouth closed an just put the tip of your tongue to the roof of your mouth. Then you have that “Mona Lisa” smile thing going on. It’s like your little secret. In your mind, you know you are smiling, but no one else does. Try it.

Don’t be afraid to try. I have tried and failed more than most people have tried. You may not be great at what you want to do. You may not like that new food you tried. You may not like that adventure. But will never know unless you try.

So what? So what if you don’t like it or are not good at it. If you do try and do like it, who cares if you master it or not? Do what you enjoy. Doing what you enjoy brings richness to your life.

There you go… confidence made easy.

Cheers!

Coach

www.facebook.com/lisayifecoach

 

 

Learn, love, laugh

Every day should have 3 significant moments:

What did you learn today? If you are aware of your day, you learned something. Maybe it was a better way of doing something. Maybe it was another way of looking at something. Maybe it was new math. It could be any number of things. So, what did you learn today?

Who did I love? Whose company made your day? Maybe it was a co worker. Maybe it was a neighbor. Maybe it was a pet. So, who did you love today, or for whom did you feel love today?

What made me laugh? It could be a simple chuckle or an all out laugh until you cried moment. What was it? Was it a funny encounter? Was a cute child? Was it a cute pet? Was it a line on a television show? Was it tripping over the rug in your kitchen? So, what made you laugh today?

Every day has at least one of each of these moments. These are the things to remember. When you think about your life, these are the moments you want to remember. Learning, love, and laughter make a day worth having and remembering.

One last question are you living the life of your dreams? If you don’t have enough of these three things, probably not. What’s missing? What can you do about that?

Tell me what you learned, how you felt love, and what made you laugh. You know where to find me: www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

Coach

Is is a self esteem issue or something else?

A woman I know said she does not like looking in the mirror. Her friend said it was a self esteem issue. That if the woman liked herself better she would like what she sees. And you can always change things. You can change your hair. Women can wear make up or do their make up differently. You can have dental work done. And if you want you can do a face lift or some other plastic surgery.

I initially agreed with that it was self esteem. This woman does not have very high self esteem. People with a positive sense of self either like what they see or they don’t care what they look like. Some with an inflated positive sense of self think they look good even when they are not having a good day.

The more I thought about it I got another thought. Some people, like the woman who does not like how she looks, actually have high expectations. She wants to look a certain way. And she does not look the way she wants. This woman does not want to look like a movie star. She does not base her desired look on glamour magazines. She has a very specific idea of how she wants to look.

Is it self esteem or high expectations? It is hard to know what is true for any one person until you get to know them a little better.

Many people seem to have low self esteem.  But maybe it is high expectations for  a part of their life not being met instead. Maybe it is not having a relationship. Maybe it is not having a good career or a career they enjoy. Maybe it is not being able to buy a house. Maybe it is not having children.

Most of us make goals in our late teens and early 20s. We know exactly how we want our lives to go. Some people seem to make their plans work out without difficulty. Others seem to be able to only make some things work out. And then there are the unfortunate ones who can’t seem to make anything work out. Not creating the life we want can cause self esteem issues. But once again, it may be more high expectations that are too high to meet.

It is funny. I remember when I was in college my best friend and I were hanging out at the mall. We were in a very nice department store. My friend said to me that this is the sort of store she would love to have her career take her. As I recall, her idea was to be a buyer or something. To me, that business was where one started. I was thinking more on the lines of retail clerk. The point is we saw the same business very differently. One saw it as a start the other the destination. It is all about expectations, right?

High expectations are very good. They can be very good motivators. It is good to set a goal. But you don’t want to set the bar to high. Goals need to be reachable. Then when you meet that goal go ahead and raise that bar if you want. But just don’t get caught up in some sort of unrealistic goal. If your expectations are too high, there is too much disappointment if you don’t reach it, or in the effort to meet that goal you lose sight of everything and life gets out of balance.

As for the woman who did not like her looks, when she realized it was high expectations she did not hate what she saw. She actually smiled and thought much better about herself.

If you feel as if you have low self esteem, take another look. Is is self esteem or is is high expectations? Did you set your bar too high? There is nothing wrong with high expectations. Just remember to set reasonable goals then raise the bar.

I hope that helps.

If you need help sorting it out, you know where to find me. www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

Cheers!

Coach