Crying is a very interesting topic to me. I normally cry very easily. I cry at happy things. I cry at sentimental things. I cry at touching things. I cry at sad things.
Some people have a very tough time crying. Some people think it is a weakness. I don’t get that. I think it takes a lot of courage to cry. Crying fills a need. It helps us to fill our need for love and connection to the self.
I would like to talk about crying when someone dies. This is one occasion when people not only think crying is acceptable but also expected. If you go to a funeral and don’t cry, many people may think it is unnatural.
The questions: Why didn’t I cry? Why didn’t he or she cry? Are they heartless? Who could be so uncaring? Am I a monster? What is wrong with me?
Stop it right there. You don’t have to cry when family and friends die. You don’t have to cry at the funeral. You don’t have to cry later in private. You don’t have to cry ever. I repeat. You don’t have to cry ever.
My mom was my best friend. She passed away 9 years ago on Thanksgiving. I, the crier, I don’t think I ever cried. I loved my mom dearly. I miss her every day. But I never cried over her death. I can’t really explain why.
Now, a few months later my dog died. I cried at once at her death. I fell to my knees and cried. I cried and cried. I cried for years. I did not love my dog more than my mom. I don’t know why I cried so much.
I suppose if I really tried I could try to figure it out. But I don’t have the need. The point I am trying to make is that crying is an action we are do in response to certain events. Sometimes we do, and sometimes we don’t.
If you don’t at a moment when it is expected and you don’t cry, don’t worry about it. It does not mean that you are heartless. You just don’t have the need.
Cheers!
Coach Lisa
www.facebook.com/coach-Lisa