Month: September 2024

Fear of change and having what you want.

It may be hard to believe, but there is a fear of change and a fear of having what you want. People are so at home in their comfort zone they don’t want to leave no matter how much pain there is there.

Plus, having what you want is an excuse to not succeed. If you don’t succeed in something, then you can have your “I told you so” moments. There is a sense of certainty in not getting what you want.

If you quit doing depression, your life is uncertain. You don’t know what to expect. It makes you nervous. You have to learn to be comfortable with a new way of life. You have to let go of new ways and embrace new ways.

New ways are a type of culture shock. It is like moving to a new city. But when you learn to embrace the new ways it feels so good. You learn your way around. You find new adventures. You learn a whole new way of life. And in time you stop feeling lost. You know your way around, and you no longer want to go back to where you were before.

The fear of asking. Sometimes we don’t ask for help due to a fear of asking. This is also a fear of rejection. Even if ask for help from someone who understands there is a fear that you will be rejected. It is hard to ask for what we want. But if you don’t ask you won’t get. It is that simple. There is a power in asking. It is taking control. It is standing up and fighting. It is being the rebel and saying I am control here depression, and I am taking my life back.

I wanted help. I did not want to ask. I did not have anyone to ask. Sure there are people out there who say they are there for you. They want to be able to be there for you, but unless they have done depression they can’t understand enough to help. They feel helpless and you feel hopeless. It does not have to be that way. So, I created my own system and helped myself. However, I knew how to help myself. Do you? This system is still available for $20.

THE FEAR OF STARTING:

I know that what keeps people with Depression from getting help is the FEAR of STARTING.

Trying something new can be hard. Starting just about anything is difficult. It is because you don’t know if you are ready. You think you should be prepared before you start. You want all your ducks in a row so to speak. Maybe you want the support of family and friends. before you start. But, INACTION breeds doubt and more fear.

To become the person you want to be takes getting started. And really, if you have the right guidance, your fear should be calmed.

When I started my journey of becoming free from depression, I was not scared, but curious if it would work. I did it alone, and there was nothing to fear. As soon as I started, I felt better. I think you would too. It really comes down to small experiments on what will work for you instead of depression. Find what works and repeat as necessary. This is the recipe for transformation in life.

Do you ever feel this way?:

Life has made me so quiet. No more talking. No more arguing. No more explaining. I’m tired of noise, of defending myself, of trying to be understood. I crave silence, peace, and stillness. I crave a place where I can simply be without the need for words.

People will say things like “I tried to talk to him/her. They don’t want to talk. HE/she says they are fine”.

When this happens, they think the person struggling with depression does not want help. They do. They don’t want to talk to people who do not understand. They are afraid. They don’t want to be humiliated. They don’t want to be put down. They don’t feel likable. They don’t think they are worthy of being helped. They want someone to lift them up even if they don’t want to admit it.

At least this was my experience when I struggled with depression. So, what do you do if you struggle with depression? You find either someone to talk to who understands or you get a course that you can do yourself. I took the lessons I learned from my life coach training and took it step-by-step to get my own depression under control. This simple system is still only $20. https://lylcoach.lchlegacy.com/

Words can never hurt you?

I have been called dumb things. I have had people say things that were mean. I usually get over it by day’s end. But sometimes someone can say something about you that is so off the mark that you just don’t know how to get over it.

But you can use these harmful words to your advantage. How? I am glad you asked.

If certain words make you feel as if you need to defend yourself, then do that. Get angry if need be. You can rant at home. “That just is not true. I am not like that. You have me all wrong. What do you mean _____? What would make you say such a thing? I am a good person. You have known me for 20 years; how can you say such a stupid thing? Really?” You get the idea. Maybe, just maybe, you need to be insulted to boost yourself up.

I deal with a lot of people who have low self esteem. Maybe if you struggle with low self esteem have someone say something really mean to you. Have them say something you know is not true and really outrageous. Then, defend yourself. Fight. Stand up for yourself. Build yourself up. Really. Do it.

My focus as a life coach is to help people in two different ways. One is to help people who struggle with depression and anxiety. The other is to guide people wanting to grow as a person.
For me, my first need to getting the life I wanted was to stop doing depression. I found the answer while I studied to be a life coach. When I did the diagnosis questions, I understood me. For the first time, I understood me.
From there, I started to find better ways to not be so overwhelmed. I learned to clear my mind of all the confusion. I learned how to control certain thoughts. I let them come, I acknowledged them and then I let them go. Those thoughts of being overwhelmed come up still, but now I control them. I relax. I calm myself down.
After I learned to not struggle with depression, I was ready to achieve. I wanted to build on what I had accomplished. I used certain tools to define my passion. I used certain tools to determine what path I wanted to take in life. What did I want to accomplish? I also used certain tools to know that I am am okay no matter what. I did not have to accomplish great things in life. I just had to go in the direction that was to lead me to my passion.
You can do the same. I am not saying it will always be easy. It more than likely will not always be easy. But any advancement in life, any little bit that makes life better is a worthy goal. It takes time and practice.
My advice to you is to make it fun and that can make it easier.

One of the worst things that was ever said to me was when my very good friend thought my depression was the devil controlling me and my mind. She thought I needed Jesus. This was incredibly stupid. First of all, I already had Jesus. Second, depression is not mental illness and no one has control over your mind but you. Depression is a tool. It is something you use to cope with life issues. It is a habit. Knowing that do you understand that it is something you choose to do? You did not consciously make the decision to start using this tool. You can choose to stop using this tool. You do need to replace it. I did and so can you. https://lylcoach.lchlegacy.com/

When I was in college, I met someone got a kidney transplant. He said to me, “You don’t know how sick you are until you get better”.

That has stuck in my mind ever since. I did depression for nearly 40 years. When I stopped crying every day, stopped being overwhelmingly frustrated, stopped being uncomfortable in public, I knew I was better. I stopped all of that and more by getting my depression under control. I was not sick, but I did struggle with depression. I had become so used to it, that I did not realize how much better I would feel without it. https://lylcoach.lchlegacy.com/

Lesson from a little league team:

These little guys (and gals) played the hand that was dealt to them and they WON!! In the beginning, they had all 9 players, but a few of them needed to leave for another team/tournament at half time… Knowing this was coming, the coach gave us parents the choice to forfeit before the game even started. The majority agreed to PLAY and we SHOWED UP!! The coach knew what he had to do, pushing our team hard in the 1st half to get the score up 3-1. The entire 2nd half consisted of strong defense and we we shut them out, ending the game 3-1. The other team was strong and they out numbered us… they just couldn’t break through our defense and score. To be honest, even if they would’ve killed us 12 to 3, I wouldn’t have changed a thing. There are no guarantees in life, all we can do is show up and do our best. NEVER back down from a challenge and NEVER give up!!