Do you understand the why of what I will call Covid depression?
What it is not:
It is not the lack of in person human interaction including hugs. It is not the lack of socializing and going out to bars and restaurants. It has nothing to do with how your hair looks. It is not the lack of a job or a loss of income. Nor is it not being able to go to a job you enjoy. It is not the inability to go to the gym or do similar activities. it is not the inability to go shopping at the mall. It is not the inability to go see a sick or aging relative. It is not that you can’t watch sports. It is not staying home all the time. It is not being stuck at home with your family all the time.
It isn’t? No it isn’t. Does that surprise you? It should. Those things are all very upsetting. And they do lead to bad feelings. But that is not the reason for any depression you may be feeling right now.
What it is:
It is the lack of certainty. All depression is from a lack of certainty. It is a lack of control. Right now, we don’t really know from day to day what is happening. Today your city, county and state have some sort of rules of engagement. They are being very controlling. Today you can do some action or activity , but tomorrow it may not be allowed. But, you never know when the mayor, county supervisor or governor may get on the news and say something like starting tomorrow the rules are going to change. It may mean more freedoms, or it may be fewer freedoms.
There are four necessities in life. One is control. When we lose control, we may do depression for comfort. I know that does not make any sense. But it is comforting. You bring a little control back into your life. If you act in a depressed manner, you are taking control of one aspect of your life. I will act depressed if I want to. It is my decision. What it is you may be doing to deal with the current situation is bringing a sense of security. You are giving you acting a certain way to bring pleasure into your life to avoid pain.
Here is what is happening. You sit around your home and ask questions. How long will it last? Will I get sick? Will it get worse? How will it end?
This is the necessity of life uncertainty. It is the opposite of certainty. We need uncertainty or variety. The problem is that right now uncertainty is out of control. It is too much. This brings the need for certainty and uncertainty out of balance. This is what is causing so much distress right now.
What you have to understand in life is that sometimes there are events in our world that we can’t control. You can send a “tweet” to the governor of your state asking that he or she allow this or that, but it won’t help. When something is completely out of your control, you have to accept that. You have to allow yourself to just relax and let go. I know that can be hard to do sometimes. But that is the first step in feeling better if the current situation has you acting out of sorts. And frankly, letting go is taking control in it’s own way.
The next step would be to find other actions you can take to bring control to your life. Work on other issues. Find a new hobby to take your mind off the rest of the world for awhile. Take up meditation. This is particularly helpful as meditation is all about bringing control into your life. You can still exercise. You can still go for a walk, a hike, a bicycle ride. Exercise is one of my best ways to clear my mind. And one more thing to do is to seriously reduce your exposure to the events of the world right now. Be informed, but don’t dwell on it by spending more than 10 minutes a day obsessing over any new development.
OK I hope that helps. If not, you know where to find me.
Coach Lisa
www.facebook.com/coachLisa