I am an empath. I feel deeply. I care deeply. I can get overwhelmed with the energy around me. I need more quiet time than non empaths. I crave quiet times. I enjoy silence. I enjoy meditation.
I see a lot of support empaths give other empaths. I see a lot of talk about what it is to be an empath, which gives support, but I have yet to see a lot of answers. I am a transition coach. I wanted to explain what is going on here from a transition coach’s point of view with the hope to help. Remember this is a GENERALIZATION. It is based on MY EXPERIENCE and what I see as a commonality. I suggest you answer the questions for you. So here it goes.
What do empaths value most? The value certainty and comfort. They want to avoid the pain of overwhelming energy.
What is most important? The freedom from the energies of the world around us.
What do they strive to obtain above all else? To have a peaceful environment.
What do they do to get this? They are home bodies. They take as much quiet time as possible. They do meditation.
How do they live? In more isolation than others.
What drives them? To find a peaceful environment.
What do they want? To be relaxed in life.
What do they want to change? That uneasy feeling with concern over the lives of other people and animals.
What need do they want to meet on a higher level? Peace.
What would having that mean? Relief.
What is preventing them from getting that? The unwelcome sensitivity is every where. We pick it up everywhere. We are too aware.
What is blocking them from obtaining that? The options for that quiet place is limited and difficult.
How are they meeting their need by not changing? In many cases, isolation.
How is need met by not changing? Being home in a quiet place.
What need is met by not changing? Comfort.
What will they lose if don’t change? Socializing.
What are they missing out on? Socializing.
How does that feel? Lonely.
What will they gain when do change? Social interaction which fills the need for love and connection with others.
How will that feel? Nice. It would be pleasant to feel loved and part of society.
Who will they become if they do not change? A sad and lonely outcast. They will feel like an odd ball.
Who will they become when they do change? Part of society. A feeling they belong.
How will that feel? Great.
What is the alternative? What has to happen for you to get what you need? The goals:
To be less sensitive. Turn down the emotions which are actions by the way. The ability to let things go.
Think about a shipwreck. Now, I am not saying that being an empath is like having a life which is a shipwreck. But it is to me how I feel as an empath sometimes.
At first, you feel you are drowning. The wreckage is all around you. Everything is floating around. There are pieces all over. In your mind, you try to put all the pieces all back together. You try to get to your peaceful state of mind.
You try to remember how the ship was. You try to get back to the last time you felt peaceful. You try to imagine the ship in all its glory. You remember its beauty. You remember the magnificence of the ship. The ship was and is no more.
And all you can do is float in the water surrounded by the wreckage.
At first, you may be in hysterics. You may feel frantic. You may feel a great sense of loss. You think my life will never be peaceful again.
But as you float in the water surrounded by the wreckage, you start to calm down. You start to think more positively. You start to think about all the possibilities for rescue. You start thinking about opportunity to get out of this wreckage.
What next? Well, you rebuild that ship. You rebuild your peace. You get new pieces. You put them together. It isn’t the same ship. But you recreate a ship with its own unique beauty, glory and magnificence.
So, what are these pieces you use to rebuild your peace?
There are certain things to do. One is to have a distraction. One is to find humor in the situation. One is to look at the situation from the opposite perspective. Things are probably not as bad as we think it is.
What you are feeling can guide you to a different way of thinking of the situation. Here is a sample.
If you feel annoyed, this is a lesson in patience. If you feel abandoned, this is a lesson in how to stand on your own two feet. If you feel angry, this is a lesson in forgiveness and compassion. If you feel someone has power over you, take the power back. If you feel hate, this is a lesson in unconditional love. If you feel fear, this is a lesson to overcome fear. If you can’t control the situation, this is a lesson in letting go.
I know this is hard. These lessons are difficult for empaths. But if you stop when you feel you are in a shipwreck and drowning, stop and think about all of these options and you will find the answer. It will take practice.
And this friends is how we survive a shipwreck in life. You did not drown. You floated until you were able to rise out of the wreckage and built a new ship.
Smooth sailing.
Coach Lisa
www.facebook.com/coachLisa