Yes, it is that time of year again. We reflect on this last year and think about what we want to change for next year.
I personally do not make New Year resolutions. I make mine on my birthday. But if you do make them here is a little tip.
When we say I am going to _(insert resolution here)_, then we do two things. One, we make a commitment. If we do not live up to that commitment, we feel disappointed. We feel we have failed. Sigh. Two, we create a sense of need. I need to _(insert resolution here)__. When we have a sense of need, we make a mental block to actually obtaining that goal.
Yes, I know. The whole point of making a resolution is to make a commitment. But what really happens? We start out the new year all excited about the change or changes we are wanting to make. But then apathy comes in. It does for a good reason, by the way. We lose interest and so much for the resolution.
Why does this happen? We find it hard. It isn’t fun to change. It is a challenge. We put too much pressure on us to change. Now add the pressure that people are watching us because we made a declaration to family and friends we are going to do this thing. Now we have failed and not lived up to our resolution and our friends and family. Sigh.
What to do?
There are two choices. One is to not make resolutions. If you don’t make any resolutions, there is no commitment to change. There is no chance to fail. Well, that is not a good choice, is it?
What is choice two?
Make it a preference.
When we say I would prefer to (insert resolution), we are making a goal, but we are not putting so much pressure on us to make this change. We lose the need for it so we lose that block. We don’t say we must do this change. It is a preference. When we lose the pressure to do this change, it makes it easier to do the thing.
If you do it, great. If you don’t, well, it is not such a big deal. It loses the great sense of failure as when we say I am going to do this change. We are not so disappointed if we do not get something we prefer as we do when we must do or get something.
So, you may be thinking that it is an easy out to prefer rather than declare you are going to do something. To prefer is to say if I do great or if I don’t great. To me I see it as more a method of making a goal without the pressure. We don’t have to anything. When we get rid of the pressure to change, we are more inclined to make the change. When people feel pressured to change, it may actually put on the brakes.
Need motivation? Ask yourself the following questions: What will you lose if you do not change? How will that feel? What will you gain when you do change? How will that feel?
So, that is my New Year resolution advice. I hope it helps.
Cheers!
Coach Lisa
www.facebook.com/coachLisa