No one wants to stop doing depression.

That statement may surprise you. Let me explain.

It may seem that is a ridiculous statement. You may say that depression is so terrible no one would want to be depressed. Well, let me start by telling you that depression fills a need. It may not seem like it, but generally speaking it fills the survival need for comfort and control.

But, you may say that it is unpleasant to do depression. How can it be a comfort? I assure you if you are very perceptive of your feelings you will understand that it is comforting as it is a familiar. I remember telling my mom that I liked being depressed. She did not understand.

There are four survival needs. Depression is an action. It fills a need. So if you do depression, what you think you want may be to not want to sleep all day. Or you may think it you want to not cry all day. Or you may think you want to not feel able to interact with others. But these things are benefits of not doing depression rather than what you want.

To stop doing depression is a vehicle to meet your need and get you those benefits exampled above. It may be to meet the need for significance or love and connection with others. Not stopping the action of depression could be the fear of actually having what you want. It can be an excuse not to succeed in a goal. To actually stop doing depression there is uncertainty of how things would be without it.

As I mentioned before, there is comfort in the familiarity of depression. Who wants to give up that familiarity. More, there is certainty in the inability to stop doing depression. Apathy, “I don’t care” gets involved. Apathy is certainty and provides control…it is your decision to stop doing depression or not. With apathy, one loses motivation as you become certain you can not stop doing depression.

So you see, no one wants to stop doing depression. What they want are the benefits of not doing depression examples as suggested above.

To transform your life, to make a change, you need to understand what it is you want, really want. Once you know this, you can make an empowering alternative action that will help you to obtain the benefits that you would enjoy by not doing depression.

Coach Lisa