WHEN NOT TO BE STRONG…WHAT?
There are times to not be strong. Here is my story:
I tried very hard to help someone to have their dream come true. I was selling my business. My office manager had dreamed of having this sort of business. So, I helped her to finance the purchase. BIG MISTAKE.
She and her husband made the first payments as agreed in our written agreements. But then she said it was hard to make the payments. I did not believe that, but I went along with it. BIG MISTAKE.
She said they could only make partial payments. Well, I thought that perhaps they would only want a few months to adjust their finances. I was thinking it would be a temporary situation. You know the 6 months we think will be time to figure things out? Well, that is what I was thinking it would be. WRONG!
Two years the partial payments have lasted. And now, I am in financial turmoil. You see, I have had to dip into my life’s savings in order to survive. I know it is my fault. I should not have said OK to the partial payments. But I did out of the goodness of my heart and with the thought it would probably be a 6 month sacrifice not a two year sacrifice. I was trying to BE STRONG. I was trying to be strong for them. I was trying to help them to have time to get their finances in order.
THE LESSON FOR YOU:
Here is what I want others to learn from this. I was trying to be strong. I thought that by accepting the partial payments, I was helping them. And I was helping them, right?Their finances were gaining strength. But what I did was hurt me. I should have at some point in time, told them this is hurting me. “I can’t continue with the partial payments.”, is what I should have said say after the first 6 months. The longer I let this continue the worse the situation gets. At this point, I have virtually accepted the partial payments. Good luck now getting full payments on a note due two years ago.
The point is don’t be strong for others if it will hurt you. Don’t sacrifice your own level of living to help others. Don’t sacrifice your own peace of mind to help others. We have to look after our own well being first. There is nothing wrong with that. If you become in a situation where you are hurting yourself, don’t be strong and try to get through it by being tough. Speak up! Stand up for your rights and your needs. It’s OK.
Coach Lisa