Hello. How are you today?
Sometimes we put up barriers between us and other people. We do this when we become hurt. When people feel they have been hurt over and over again, they become distrustful. When this happens, we don’t want to let people get close to us until we get to know them better. We don’t want just anyone to get close.
When people treat us poorly, it makes us feel less significant. We feel we are not worthy of being treated lovingly and with respect. Our sense of self is diminished. And we may put up barriers to say if I am not good enough for you, you are not good enough for me. Putting up barriers gives us control over who may or may not have contact with us. This fills our need for significance.
With the use of barriers, we are protecting ourselves. Yet, the action of putting up barriers, although understandable, blocks us from our need for relationships with other people. We need to learn to trust again.
What to do? How can we pass out passports of friendship to allow people back into our lives?
All relationships start with your relationship with yourself. As you allow yourself to love and respect yourself, others will do the same. When you are willing to be intimate with your own feelings, you will become intimate with others. As you build up your self worth, others will feel it as well. How we treat ourselves is how others treat us.
I know it is hard to be open to relationships with others if you have been hurt dearly. But as much as a barrier can be protective, sometimes we should open the gates. Give people a chance. Get to know new people. Give them the stamp of approval. Give them a passport of friendship.
Cheers!
Coach Lisa
www.facebook.com/coach-Lisa