Month: November 2018

Grinch’s Grief

A very popular story this time of year is “How the Grinch Stole Christmas”.

I feel for the Grinch. The Grinch is sad. He has the same needs as anyone else. He is an outcast. He is lonely. Life is hard for him. He struggles to get through life’s trials.

I understand the Grinch.

How the Grinch meets the four basic needs:

Significance: Having the ability to take away Christmas gives him a feeling of power. It provides a sense of importance.

Connection and Love: He lacks friends. He is alone. He does show love to his pets by letting them sleep in his bed, but he seemingly has no connection with other people. He wants others to feel what he feels. He thinks that by taking away Christmas they will understand and there will be bonding.

Variety: How will this end? What will happen? How long will the pleasure of ruining Christmas last?

Certainty: I am in control. This gives pleasure to avoid the pain of my own life.

I have at one time or another felt the same things as the Grinch. I have felt lonely. I have felt like an outcast. I have felt life is hard. I have struggled. I have been envious of the joy other people had. I have wanted other people to feel what I felt.

If you feel any of these things, you can turn it around. Don’t be a Grinch.

Cheers!

Coach Lisa

www.facebook.com/coach-Lisa

 

The Habit of Joy

Problems are a  part of life. What makes the difference in life is how we handle them. Everyone has a go to response. Some people keep calm and accept the situation for what it is and focus on the solution.

Some people get discouraged right away. All they can think about is having this new issue they need to resolve. They may be instantly discouraged. They may be instantly frustrated. They don’t feel like dealing with a problem. They want to live in peace and this is stealing that peace.

For some, this will bring on their go to response of depression. The questions come up. How bad will it be? How long will it last? What am I to do? Why do things like this happen?

If this sounds like you, this post is for you. Problems are inescapable. If you do not go into problem solving mode too readily, it is because you lack certainty of what is happening or you feel a loss of control. You are frustrated. You feel burdened.

What to do? Make joy a habit. Wait, give me a moment. Hear me out. When you feel discouraged, frustrated, overwhelmed or any similar emotion, remember that you have gone through problems before and you can get through this as well.

Take a moment and get perspective on this. What do you want? What needs to change? What is preventing you from making the necessary actions to make the change? When you answer these questions, the solution will reveal itself. No really, it will.

When you are on your way to resolving the problem at hand, stop and make joy a habit. Be joyful for the ability to make your situation better. You warrior you! You are victorious in life.

Everything is a habit. Make joy a habit. It takes practice. At first, it takes effort. But like anything, it will get easier and easier.

Cheers!

Coach Lisa

www.facebook/com/coach-Lisa

 

Finding Peace

Many people who see others being at peace with the world think that they are doing something wrong. Why are other people so happy and I suffer? Why do I feel sad and lonely? Where is my peace?

First let us look at why you feel not at peace with yourself and the world. It has nothing to do with self-discipline or willpower. It is not a matter of having a bad attitude. It  is all about something uncertain or out of control in your life.

If you lack peace in your life, you are feeling needy. You feel left out. You have gone down a path of hardship. Your abilities seem to be irrelevant and your weaknesses dominant.

So what is the path to peace? The first step is to understand what is uncertain in your life. What do you want? What is it you want to change? What is preventing your getting that?

The answers to the above probably are not what you think. What you want is certainty in something or control over something. What you want to change is having certainty and or control. What is preventing that is the fear and uncertainty of change.  Now, answer the questions again.

When you discover the answers, you will reveal the answers. When you change your focus from the problem to the answers, you see all sorts of opportunities for improvement in your life.

This will lead to the prospects of peace and joy. You will lose the pain and find the comfort you seek. You will begin to wake up in the morning with hope and anticipation for a happy life. You will find more pleasure.

If you need help, I will gladly take you by the hand and provide gentle guidance.

Cheers.

Coach Lisa

www.facebook.com/coach-Lisa