Month: August 2018

Big Brother House Guests and You

Hello house guests.

I always wanted to say that. Move over Julie Chen.

So, I love Big Brother. I am fascinated by the people. I am also fascinated by the reaction people have to what is going on inside. Let us examine a few house guests.

Rockstar. Do you get her? I do. I understand her so much it isn’t even funny. I understand why she cries so much. I understand her feelings toward Brett. I understand her frustrations with life. Why? I have been there.

Now a lot of people would be embarrassed to admit that. I’m not. Why? Why should I? We all have different coping skills. We have different means to handle life’s hard times. What matters is conquering these low methods of dealing with life and find empowering alternatives.

If you are like Rockstar, if you want to do better and be lifted up, I can help you. Why? I understand. Been there done that and got better.

Bayleigh. Can you relate to the outburst she had at Haleigh’s house meeting? I do. I understand that so much it isn’t even funny. Why? I have been there.

Now a lot of people would be embarrassed to admit that. I’m not. Why? Why should I? We all have different coping skills. We have different means to handle life’s hard times. What matters is conquering these low methods of dealing with life and find empowering alternatives.

If you are like Bayleigh, if you want to do better and be lifted up, I can help you. Why? I understand. Been there done that and got better.

See a pattern here?

Brett and Angela. Never been these two, but I have dealt with these two types before. They are people who will do anything to get what they want. They mostly don’t care who they hurt. They rarely if ever apologize.

They let you think you are friends. Did you hear Angela’s good bye message to Bayleigh? She said something like we connected on a personal level, and I hope we can be friends on the outside. Really? Angela wants to believe that because she wants to be that way.

People like Brett and Angela know what society values and try very hard to convince people they have those values. And , sometimes they actually exhibit those values, but I don’t think they are ever 100% genuine.

If you have ever been hurt by a Brett or Angela type or have that type of person in your life and want help dealing with that type of individual, I’m your coach.

Everyone else. So,I don’t have the time and space to discuss everyone. I do have thoughts on everyone else. So, if you relate to one of the other house guests or if you have one of the other house guests in your life, and want to either learn to be empowered or deal with a certain personality, let me know.

Cheers!

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Being nice and popularity

So someone said to me the other day regarding people not liking her, “I’m nice”. She could not understand why people don’t like her because she is nice.

I understand the frustration. I go through that too. I do nice things and it seems no one cares. It is baffling.

The reverse can also be true.  Some people who are not nice can have a lot of friends.

That is really frustrating. I know people who are down right mean, but have a lot of friends.

Now don’t get this wrong. Some people do have a lot of friends and are nice at the same time. But they don’t have popularity because they are nice. It is all about personality.

Summary: Being nice does not mean that people will  like you and just because some people have a lot of friends it isn’t necessarily because they are nice.  

Popularity has more to do with personality than being nice.

 Issue One: You are nice and have few friends.

So, if you are nice and have a hard time making friends, what do you do? Well, if you don’t have a lot of charisma, it takes a little more effort.

I suggest you think about something you really enjoy when you interact with others. What makes you come alive? If you are thinking about that, you will be more relaxed and that makes people more charismatic.

I also suggest what I call the Mona Lisa smile. You place the tip of your tongue to the roof of your mouth. I know it sounds strange, but it actually works to make you feel happier and joyful and that will give you a bit more charisma.

Issue Two: Popular people may not be as nice as you think.

As I said before, some popular people are genuinely nice. But some may not be nice. Get to know people before you trust them based on their popularity.

Some people know how to get people to like them. They know just the right thing to say and do to get you to trust them and like them. Then they manipulate others. It may be nothing much or it could be something that turns your life upside down.

I trusted the wrong people a time or two. And my life got messed up and it took a lot of work to make it better. I thought they were nice because they were so personable. So, be careful.

Take care!

Coach

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Day of Humility

August 4 2018

This is the National Day of Humility.

This concept was started by Abraham Lincoln. I think it is time to make this popular again. Maybe just maybe we should do it every month.

For all people of faith, no matter your religion, we have a belief in God or higher power what ever you call it.

A ProclamationWhereas the Senate of the United States, devoutly recognizing the supreme authority and just government of Almighty God in all the affairs of men and of nations, has by a resolution requested the President to designate and set apart a day for national prayer and humiliation; and

Whereas it is the duty of nations as well as of men to own their dependence upon the overruling power of God, to confess their sins and transgressions in humble sorrow, yet with assured hope that genuine repentance will lead to mercy and pardon, and to recognize the sublime truth, announced in the Holy Scriptures and proven by all history, that those nations only are blessed whose God is the Lord;

And, insomuch as we know that by His divine law nations, like individuals, are subjected to punishments and chastisements in this world, may we not justly fear that the awful calamity of civil war which now desolates the land may be but a punishment inflicted upon us for our presumptuous sins, to the needful end of our national reformation as a whole people? We have been the recipients of the choicest bounties of Heaven; we have been preserved these many years in peace and prosperity; we have grown in numbers, wealth, and power as no other nation has ever grown. But we have forgotten God. We have forgotten the gracious hand which preserved us in peace and multiplied and enriched and strengthened us, and we have vainly imagined, in the deceitfulness of our hearts, that all these blessings were produced by some superior wisdom and virtue of our own. Intoxicated with unbroken success, we have become too self-sufficient to feel the necessity of redeeming and preserving grace, too proud to pray to the God that made us.

It behooves us, then, to humble ourselves before the offended Power, to confess our national sins, and to pray for clemency and forgiveness.

Now, therefore, in compliance with the request, and fully concurring in the views of the Senate, I do by this my proclamation designate and set apart Thursday, the 30th day of April, 1863, as a day of national humiliation, fasting, and prayer. And I do hereby request all the people to abstain on that day from their ordinary secular pursuits, and to unite at their several places of public worship and their respective homes in keeping the day holy to the Lord and devoted to the humble discharge of the religious duties proper to that solemn occasion.

All this being done in sincerity and truth, let us then rest humbly in the hope authorized by the divine teachings that the united cry of the nation will be heard on high and answered with blessings no less than the pardon of our national sins and the restoration of our now divided and suffering country to its former happy condition of unity and peace. In witness whereof I have hereunto set my hand and caused the seal of the United States to be affixed.

Done at the city of Washington, this 30th day of March, A. D. 1863, and of the Independence of the United States the eighty-seventh.

ABRAHAM LINCOLN.

I urge all who believe in a higher power, “God” or what ever you call it let us together take August 4th as a Day of Humility.

Coach

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