I want people to understand depression. Depression is something people DO.
There are four survival needs.
Everything we do, every issue, every problem comes down to these four needs. The one I want to talk about is certainty/comfort. For, it is the need for certainty/comfort that is being met by the action of depression.
People who have some aspect in their life that is out of control they use depression to give them certainty/comfort in their life. It sounds odd. But there is a level of comfort in depression.
Depression is filling a need. Granted, it is not meeting the need on a high level, but it is meeting the need. It may be the only vehicle that some people have to meet that need. It has become a habit.
Why don’t they get help?
They don’t because for one thing, it is working for them. When it no longer works for them, they will be ready for change. For another, certainty is very important to them. Changing, meeting that need on a higher level, is uncertainty. They don’t know what to expect.
They stay in the habit of depression because it is a comfort zone. All habits are made by us. We can break them anytime, but we need a new habit. You can’t just end a habit without a replacement.
What can be done?
There are 5 steps:
Diagnosis. Understanding what the person wants. What is the need?
Leverage. Making the link between the pain of not changing and the pleasure of changing.
Empowering Alternative. How can you meet the need with an empowering, fulfilling action.
Conditioning. This is simply practice. This is getting in the habit of the new action.
Peer Group. Having a circle of people in your life who understand or who are supportive.
I hope this brings understanding.
Cheers!
Coach www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach