Month: March 2018

Are you a dog or a cat?

I think both dogs and cats have good qualities. But which personality is better in life?

Cats. Cats are cool. It takes a lot to stir up a cat and make him concerned about anything. They are daring and bold. Cats have nerves of steel. Have you ever seen the video of a cat being sniffed by a bear? If not, where have you been?

They are unapologetic. Have you ever seen a cat look at a person look at something they are not supposed to touch and then they look back at the person and then they swipe the vase or glass or what ever and knock it onto the floor? They do it all the time. They will knock a plant down and make a mess. Then, they stare at it and look at you with this look as if to say “yes I knocked it down and made a  mess and what are you going to do about it?”.

They will steal a dog’s bed, and ignore all attempts the dog may make to get it back. If the dog is lucky, they will share the bed if there is space.

And those claws of theirs are dangerous. It may not seem like much, but anyone who has ever been on the wrong end of the claws knows what I mean.

It isn’t to say that they are not loving. Now, they sometimes pretend to be loving. That is when they rub up on your leg and purr. That is not always love. Normally, that is cat language for “feed me human.” But they are loving. When you get in your favorite chair in the evening and they join you, and then you don’t want to get up no matter how much you need to go to the bathroom. And if you sleep with your cat you get those little love pats. Aww. Right?

In summary about cats, they do as they please, get what they want, are not easily intimidated, are unapologetic and when they want affection you can’t refuse.

Dogs. Dogs are pack animals. You are your dog’s pack. As such, they want to be with all the time. Well, at the very least they want you to be within ear shot of you. They want to know where you are. Some dogs are always at your side, and some are happy just knowing you are near if they need or want you.

Most dogs are not as brave as they seem. Contrary to popular belief most dogs would rather flee than fight. That is why being on a leash can be a problem in certain situations. If threatened while on a leash, there is nothing more most dogs would want to do than get off that leash and run home.

Dogs are faithful. They will stick with you no matter what.

Now, if your dog does something you don’t like, they will act guilty. They know you did not like what they did and give you those “I’m sorry” eyes. They are not really sorry. They don’t have that concept. But a dog knows it will be helpful if they at least seem apologetic.

When a dog comes up to you and gives affection, they mean it every time. One of my dogs licks my feet at night in the summer to show love. When I feel sad, they come to me. My girl will put her butt in my face. Her thinking is that if I rub her back or tummy I will feel better. It makes me laugh, and that makes me feel better. So, I guess it works after all.

In summary, dogs are lovers not fighters at heart. They only fight when fleeing is not possible. They are family oriented. They care about your feelings. They are faithful companions.

Cat or dog? Which are you? What qualities are most helpful in society?

I am more of a dog. I am more of a lover than a fighter. I would rather handle things quietly and peacefully. I bark a lot. I do act, but it makes me nervous sometimes. I am not a cat who seemingly is not concerned with the consequences of my actions. I am a faithful friend.

But sometimes I wish I were more of a cat. I wish I could do as I please and not always be concerned about what others may think. I want to be cool under pressure.  When I want something, I would like to be able to know how to go for it and get what I want when I want it.

What qualities are best in society? I think different qualities are good for different situations.

Be cool like a cat under stressful situations. Sit back and relax. Observe. What is the situation at hand? Do not over react. If you want something, don’t be intimidated to go for it. When you make a mistake, own up to it. Be like the cat who knocks the plant off the shelf and makes a mess on the carpet. We all make mistakes. Don’t hide. Most of the time a mistake can be fixed. Like a cat, be conservative on who you love. Don’t give it away to just anyone. Give your true affections to those you love when you feel like it.

Make a pack like a dog. Surround yourself with a support system. Have people in your life you can always turn to. Different people offer different things. Be faithful. As long as it legal and moral, stand with your pack members no matter what. When you hurt others, be sorry. Even if you did nothing wrong, (you made a mistake or something happened which was out of your control) say you are sorry your actions made them feel bad or harmed them in any way. If you want something, don’t let others block you. Go for what you want. And when you feel bad don’t be afraid to ask for a back or belly rub and don’t take no for an answer.

Cheers!

Coach.

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Child to Adult

Your relationship with people changes over time. When you are a child, you have one relationship with people.  When you become an adult, you have a different relationship.

This can be the parent-child relationship, aunt/uncle and niece/nephew relationship, best friends relationship, your parent’s friends and you relationship to name some options.

As an adult, I have  connected with different people from my past. I have connected with people who were friend’s of my parents, my child hood friends, and then there are relationships with nephews and aunts and uncles.

You see each other differently.

When people are children, there is one level of relationship. When children grow up, there is a different relationship. Even between childhood friends things change as we become adults.

Childhood friends change physically. It is strange for me to see that childhood friend of mine now with facial hair and a slight beer belly. These people now have children and some grand children. They have careers and own their own homes. These are my childhood friends. I still think of them as people with whom I went bike riding, played marbles, and rode with on a school bus.

Adults you admired when you were a child now look at you as someone who is to be respected for your knowledge. You become on more level ground. To me, not completely level as I still think those who are older have life experiences which should not be ignored. And as the child who grew up you see them differently. You see the depth of their personality. It is almost like meeting someone new. These people are no longer Mr. and Mrs. so and so. Now you are on a first name basis.

The point is? There is no point really. These are just observations. You were expecting a point? I guess if I were to make a point it would be this. Children grow up. And when they do relationships change. I find it fascinating.

What fascinates you about becoming an adult? Let me know.

Cheers!

coach

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Reading Between the Lines

I find it interesting when you talk to people or when I make a post that people read or hear something more than what you said.

I don’t purposely say things so that people have to “read between the lines”. I am usually rather direct in what I say. I think people interpret things a certain way. Word that are plain, poetry, prose are up to interpretation. People interpret words the same way they put their own meaning into art, photography or music.

If by some chance you get a certain meaning from words, mine or someone else’s, then that is because they hit a nerve. They mean something to you. You get the message “between the lines”.

It is sort of like when you are out in public and people look in your direction and laugh. Has that ever happened to you? It has to me. And my first thought is they are laughing at me. And chances are they don’t even notice me. You know that right, don’t you?  People don’t really notice us as much as we think they do. We just feel self-conscious sometimes and think people are noticing us. Anyway, chances are those people you think are laughing at you are laughing at something else. Either someone behind you or something else then they happen to look in your direction while laughing at that something else.

The point is if I or anyone says something and you get some secret hidden meaning that may be your interpretation. That is not necessarily a bad thing. But it is important to think about what you got out of that. That message is important for you to have. The hidden words are speaking to you. They are unintentionally saying what you need to hear. But if you think someone is telling you something in a less direct way, and you don’t like the meaning you read into the words get clarity.

I know from experience this is important. I don’t always know what someone else is saying. If you don’t ask the unanswered questions will drive you crazy.

So, go ahead and read between the lines. If you get something from the words unspoken or unwritten, know that the message is real and will be helpful.

Cheers!

Coach

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Believe in America

Believe in America

Over the last two or three decades or so we, the citizens of the United States of America have become more divided.

Why have we not been able to get together as a nation to resolve our differences?

It’s clear that the true problems of our Nation are deep. But they can be mended.

First of all, we have no leader. I would say leadership, true leadership has been absent for the last 25- 30 years. The loyalty of the heads of our government is gone. There is no coming together for the common good. Every one in the government is doing what will help a small segment of society and not the Nation as a whole.

This is supposed to be a government of the people. But it isn’t. Who feels connected to policy makers anymore? Sure, you can tweet, buck who is really connected?

We need to learn to love each other. We are all part of this Nation. Our Nation is facing a moral and spiritual crisis. I believe in the decency and the strength and the wisdom of the American people.

I want to talk to you right now about a fundamental threat to American democracy. What we lack is belief in America. Without leadership, we the people of America feel lost. We have lost our belief that America is the country we thought it was. We are tired. There is growing doubt about the meaning of our own lives and in the loss of a unity of purpose for our Nation. There is erosion of our belief in the future is threatening to destroy the social and the political fabric of America.

The belief that we have always had as a people is not simply some romantic dream or a proverb in a dusty book that we read just on the Fourth of July. It is the idea which founded our Nation and has guided our development as a people. Confidence in the future has supported everything else-public institutions and private enterprise, our own families, and the very Constitution of the United States. Belief in American ability has defined our course and has served as a link between generations. We’ve always believed in something called progress. We’ve always had a faith that the days of our children would be better than our own.

Our people are losing that faith, not only in government itself but in the ability as citizens to serve as the ultimate rulers and designers of our democracy. As a people we know our past and we are proud of it. Our progress has been part of the living history of America, even the world. We always believed that we were part of a great movement of humanity itself called democracy, involved in the search for freedom, and that belief has always strengthened us in our purpose. But just as we are losing our confidence in the future, we are also beginning to close the door on our past.

In a nation that was proud of hard work, strong families, close-knit communities, and our faith in God, too many of us now tend to worship self-indulgence and consumption. Human identity is no longer defined by what one does, but by what one owns. But we’ve discovered that owning things and consuming things does not satisfy our longing for meaning. We’ve learned that piling up material goods cannot fill the emptiness of lives which have no confidence or purpose.

The symptoms of this crisis of the American spirit are all around us. People believe that the next 5 years will be worse than the past 5 years. People do not even vote. The productivity of American workers is actually dropping, and the willingness of Americans to save for the future has fallen below that of all other people in the Western world.

There is a growing disrespect for government and for churches and for schools, the news media, and other institutions. is a warning. These changes did not happen overnight. They’ve come upon us gradually over the last 20- 30 years.

We were sure that ours was a nation of the ballot, not the bullet. We remember when the phrase “sound as a dollar” was an expression of absolute dependability. But our Nation has been wounded. These wounds are deep and they need to be healed.

Looking for a way out of this crisis, our people have turned to the Federal Government and found it isolated from the mainstream of our Nation’s life. Washington, D.C., has become an island. The gap between our citizens and our Government has never been so wide. The people are looking for honest answers, not easy answers; clear leadership, not false claims and evasiveness and politics as usual.

What you see too often in Washington and elsewhere around the country is a system of government that seems incapable of action. You see a Congress twisted and pulled in every direction by hundreds of well-financed and powerful special interests. You see every extreme position defended to the last vote, almost to the last breath by one unyielding group or another. You often see a balanced and a fair approach that demands sacrifice, a little sacrifice from everyone, abandoned like an orphan without support and without friends.Often you see paralysis and stagnation and drift. You don’t like it, and neither do I.

What can we do?

First of all, we must face the truth, and then we can change our course. We simply must have faith in each other, faith in our ability to govern ourselves, and faith in the future of this Nation. Restoring that faith and that confidence to America is now the most important task we face. It is a true challenge of this generation of Americans.

We’ve got to stop crying and start sweating, stop talking and start walking, stop cursing and start praying. The strength we need will not come from the White House, but from every house in America. We know the strength of America. We are strong. We can regain our unity. We can regain our confidence. We are the heirs of generations who survived threats much more powerful and awesome than those that challenge us now. Our fathers and mothers were strong men and women who shaped a new society during the Great Depression, who fought world wars, and who carved out a new charter of peace for the world.

We ourselves are the same Americans who put a man on the Moon. We are the generation that dedicated our society to the pursuit of human rights and equality. And we are the generation that will rebuild the unity and confidence of America.

We are at a turning point in our history. There are two paths to choose. One is a path that leads to fragmentation and self-interest. Down that road lies a mistaken idea of freedom, the right to grasp for ourselves some advantage over others. That path would be one of constant conflict between narrow interests ending in chaos and immobility. It is a certain route to failure.

All the traditions of our past, all the lessons of our heritage, all the promises of our future point to another path, the path of common purpose and the restoration of American values. That path leads to true freedom for our Nation and ourselves.

T shirts: teespring.com/wearbelieveinamerica

What I have to say to you now is simple and vitally important.

We have the most skilled work force, with innovative genius, and I firmly believe that we have the national will to win this war. I do not promise you that this struggle for freedom will be easy. I do not promise a quick way out of our Nation’s problems. Frankly, the only way out is an all-out effort. We the People of the United States of America will lead the fight. We will not wait for the government. We will act. There are no quick answers. We can’t just reboot the system. These wounds have been a long time in the making, and they will take to to mend. Little by little we can and we must rebuild our belief in America and the principles upon which we built our nation. We must open the windows to the past and see where we left the path of greatness. Where did it all go wrong? Let us summon all the great minds. For, we can succeed only if we tap our greatest resources-America’s people, America’s values, and America’s beliefs. I have seen the strength of America in the inexhaustible resources of our people. In the days to come, let us renew that strength.

In closing, I urge you to get involved. Get your voice heard. Whenever you have a chance, say something good about our country. With God’s help and for the sake of our Nation, it is time for us to join hands in America. Let us commit ourselves together to a rebirth of the American spirit. Working together with our common faith we cannot fail.

Thank you.

Coach

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Need to vent?

We all feel frustrated. We all feel the need to vent. It is nice and best if we can direct our frustration to the subject of our frustration. But sometimes that is not always possible.

Maybe we are frustrated at the loss of a loved one. Maybe we are frustrated at life in general. Maybe we are frustrated that a loved one was careless and got hurt in a car crash. Maybe we are frustrated at the waste of food at a restaurant or store. Maybe we are frustrated over a lost opportunity. There are many things that frustrate us.

For some things we can’t vent our frustration, and it builds up in our lives. The stress of it all gets to us. Then, when we least expect it, we blow up and our frustration comes out in an unexpected and inappropriate way.

What to do?

If you have a frustration, and have no way to express it, talk to me. You can yell and scream at the universe, but the universe will not give you feed back. The universe listens, but does not respond. And you really need that feed back. You need that back and forth communication.

What does this do?

This gets this frustration off your chest before it builds up and you blow your top for some unrelated incident. It helps you to sort through whatever it is that is upsetting to you. It also gives you peace of mind.

Invitation

If you need to vent to someone or something, and have no way of doing it, vent to me. I am a very good listener.

If not, find someone who is willing to listen. But I warn you, most people do not want to listen to someone vent. And sometimes you don’t want others to know what you think or feel, and talking to someone like me is a lot safer.

Vent

If it is with me or someone else, vent. Get that frustration off your chest. You will feel a weight lifted.

Cheers!

Coach

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Shed your skin

If you are not happy with the life you have in order to change your life, you have to get rid of the one you have.  If life is not going according to plan, then maybe you are going down the wrong path. It may be time to change your path and go toward the life that is waiting for you.

Shed your skin.

The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come. Sometimes we have to get rid of the old ways  for inner growth. We must die and let go of what we are before we can enter into our next stage of growth. It is a rebirth. Some people think this is a difficult  process. But it really is not.

But, who would ever want to go through the death of everything they know? This is not something that comes because we are seeking it. It erupts upon us. We have no choice but to shed our old skin or die.

Habits

Life is about habits. We built our lives by making habits. We made them. We can break them. We can make new ones.

We create habits to fill a need. When the habit stops meeting a need, you can break it and change it. Then you make a new habit that is an empowering alternative.

When life is not going well and is especially difficult, you are going in the wrong direction. Your current habits are getting in the way. You need to find a different action to meet your goals.

Open up.

A woman opened up to me. I had her in a deep relaxed state. I had her mind be free of clutter. I had her tell me what came to mind. She started talking about all sorts of things. Then she thought about her mom. Her mom is deceased. They had been very close. They were highly dependent on one another. Now that her mom was gone everything had changed. She realized for the first time in several months how that dependence on another was both a blessing and a burden. As she talked her demeanor changed. It was like a huge weight had been lifted. She was shedding her skin.

By opening up, people can release the old skin and give the new skin a place to grow. She knew something was different after her mom had passed, but until that moment, she was not understanding the transformation. She did not know what she was experiencing.

When we have a change of perception, we can see a new world that was invisible to us before. Once we shed our old skin, we can never go back. That’s the indication of real spiritual growth.

Cheers!

Coach

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3 reasons not to watch the Oscars

The Oscars are a big event for those who love movies and love celebrities. Women especially love to see what the women are wearing. Who is with whom? What tidbit of gossip can be obtained? But I think the Oscars, along with other similar programs, are bad for the emotional state of of our nation.

We already have enough negativity being tossed around out there. The Oscars have become political. And politics is a very negative thing.

People who are very influential think that a celebration is a time to speak their political minds. I think that is sad. The Oscars should be a fun event not polluted with politics.

Here is what I mean.

The speeches. Speeches at an award ceremony should be about making a dream come true. They should be about who supported the winner emotionally and psychologically. It should be about those who taught them how to improve their talent. It should be about who guided them and their big break.

What many speeches will be about or at least include will be their political opinion. And it won’t be positive. It will be people spreading 3 negative things.

3 negatives. I predict the speeches will be spreading hate,  racist and  intolerant for other points of view and opinions. This is so harmful. For those who agree it will get these people all stirred up and spread this negativity. For those who disagree it will make them angry and they too will be stirred up to fight against this negativity. What this does is feed the fires that are tearing this country apart.

By watching the Oscars, many people will be all stirred up and tensions will grow. We need to put these fires out not have them flare up by listening to these depressing and negative speeches.

So, if you do watch the Oscars, please keep this in mind, and don’t get wrapped up the negativity these negative people and their speeches pour into the universe.

Rise above. I urge you to rise above. If you do watch this award program, watch it for the fun things. Watch for the fashions. Watch for the gossip items. But put the negativity aside.

Cheers!

Coach

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