Doing Unto Others

 “Do unto others as you would have done unto you.”

I know when I think that or even say that I do so because I don’t feel I am being treated properly. Someone is not treating me as I would treat them.

But has it ever occurred to you that maybe they are treating you the way they would expect to be treated?

Just because you do not think that someone is treating you properly it does not mean they are rude or inconsiderate.

For example, say you lent some money. And say the person who borrowed the money is making payments. But  the payments were delayed and they are behind. If you had borrowed the money, you would pay extra to catch up the arrears. But the person paying you back does not try to catch up even though you know they can.

Your thoughts may be “Do unto others as you would have done unto you.” You think that because you think that catching up on the back payments is what everyone would think is the proper thing to do. (I would agree by the way.) But this person does not think that way. They feel that as long as they are currently making payments it is all good. You are getting your money back and that is the most important thing, right? So, to them, they are doing unto you as they would expect you to do if the roles were reversed.

Different expectations and standards.

People have different expectations and standards. What is acceptable to one is not acceptable to another. We see this everywhere. Just look at reviews of businesses. You can have some people thinking a business is great. Some think it is fair, and others think it is terrible. Go figure.

Anyway, it is important to remember this the next time you think you are not being treated as nicely as you would like. Just because you are not being treated the way you think is appropriate, kind, considerate,  and fair and just consider the other person may have lower standards than you.

If you feel hurt, ask for the opinion of another person or persons. Find out if they think the person is treating you poorly or just not to your standards.

If the consensus is that you are getting bad treatment, then you would be justified to talking to that other person to try to get them to be more considerate.

If the situation is that they are not treating you up to your standards, sorry, but you just have to accept that. It may not be easy, but that is how it is. And you have to let it go. I know. That is easier said than done. If it helps, you, friend, have high standards and are a wonderful person. Not everyone can be as wonderful. If only… right?

So, I hope that helps. Remember other people have different expectations and standards. We all do the best we can.

Coach

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