Month: June 2017

Day 14

Hey~

I hope all is well with you.

As you progress to what ever it is you are working on, I want to remind you that every day, every project, has its challenges.

My old business.

I used to own a business. We worked with independent workers and not employees. The government does not like that arrangement so they try to discourage this business model through a lot of regulations. It drove me crazy. I was a member of a coalition of like business owners to keep aware of the laws. One small mistake and you could lose it all.

One day I talked about it with my office manager. She said, “If it were easy, everyone would do it.” That is probably true. It would be a lot more appealing to small businesses to have that business model. For that industry, it is the only way to operate the business otherwise costs would be too high and customers would not pay the fees, and a lot of people would not have work.

The point is that there are challenges. Some things come naturally to others and some have to work harder to do the same thing.

It is hard for me.

Things are hard for me. I am that person who understands the general concept of a thing, but doing it is a whole other thing. I go to workshops. I sit. I listen. I understand. But I walk out at the end of the three days thinking what did I get out of that? I usually feel cheated because someone did not give me their magic wand so I can make all my dreams come true.

Other people walk out with the magic wand. They have it. They have all the guidance and direction they need to make it happen. And I just sit there wondering what is wrong with me.

The last one I went to on the third day I sat next to someone new. We chatted. She had the magic wand. As we chatted, I expressed that I had gotten nothing from the work shop that I could use. She looked at me and said, “We were at the same work shop.” She seemed a little disgusted with my attitude. “I know.” was my response.

The point is that things are hard for me. Everything is a challenge.

Fight through it.

I am great at generating ideas and plans. I can create the step-by-step plan. And  I have to do it that way. I can’t just go to a work shop and start doing the thing. But I push through. So, when I tell you to push through, I am not doing it from the perspective of life is easy and the answers are simple. I am doing it from the perspective that life is challenging.

If this thing that you are trying to accomplish, when you hit a challenge, fight through it. If it worth it to you, if you really want it, you have to fight through it. As you work though the challenge, it will get easier. Why? Because you learn. The more you get involved in something the more you learn the ins and outs. As you push through, you see how all the components fit together.

You really just have to get over that hump.

Coach

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Law of Habit

Change is a habit. 

You built your life just as it is by creating habits. Everything you do is a habit.

Law of Habit:    Any thought or action you repeat becomes a habit.

At first, you have to think about this new way of doing something. It takes effort and willpower. You naturally want to do things the familiar and easy way. But as you practice a thing, it becomes part of your conscious mind. It becomes automatic.

Good Habits.

For success in anything, you need to build on good habits and kick the bad habits out of your life.

If there is someone who has accomplished what you want to accomplish, do what they do. Follow their habits. And know that they still follow the habits that got them where they are.

If you change your eating habits to lose weight, would you change your eating habits once you lose weight? Not if you want to keep the excess weight off. This is true for everything. Do what you have to do to meet that goal and keep the habits you followed to get there.

Sow a thought and you reap an action.

Sow an action and you reap a habit.

Sow a habit and you reap a character.

Sow a character and you reap a destiny. 

Coach

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Day 13

Your reserve tank.

Trying to do something new can be hard. I know. Unless you have someone guiding you all the way or have a lot of related experience, it can be draining.

If you feel you have given all you have, look again. We are not used to pushing ourselves to our limits. Heck, we don’t even know what our limits are. You may be going down this new path and asking “Am I there yet?”. How many times have you thought you reached the peak just to find a small valley and a new peak? That is what you find on the road to success. Even the most successful people have had that experience over and over again.

Sometimes I think that we make some random maximum that we can do. Or we create some maximum effort a thing will take to accomplish. But how can we determine what that maximum can be? You can’t determine that until you get to doing a thing. There are no magic numbers.

It is better to just start without some preconceived maximums. If, for example you want to see how far you can walk. Maybe you think you can walk 2 miles. So, you figure out a route to take to walk two miles. So then what? Is it absolutely impossible for you to take another step? Maybe. You really don’t know how far you can walk if you limit your effort to the two mile cap. Your legs will not stop functioning at the two mile point. The same is true for anything you take on as a challenge.

You have heard this before— one more. If you are fortunate enough to have the right person in your corner, you have someone that will encourage you to do one more.

Sometimes we have a goal line in our sights. We know we can meet that goal. But we don’t think we can go past that. We hit that goal and stop. And that is perfectly fine. If you don’t desire or need to get past that goal, good for you! You reached your goal. Enjoy! But if you would like more than that, then change your focus to beyond that goal. Keep the momentum going.

I told you before to celebrate meeting goals. And you should. But if you hit a major goal, and think I can’t get past this look in your reserve tank. You are probably only about 40% of your capacity.

Think about a foot ball field. You are on the 50 yard line. Imagine having to do a fireman carry 30 yards. You are determined. You pick up the person and you make it the 30 yards. Then you drop the person. OK, maybe you did not drop him. Now. what if you were blindfolded? What if you did it without knowing where the 30 yards end? You have a fitness instructor watching who says he will let you know when you have met the goal. So you carry the person down field. 10 yards. 20 yards. 30 yards. Boy, this is hard. 40 yards… am I there yet? No, Keep going. 45 yards… not yet? No. Keep going. 50 yards. The instructor says OK, you made it. You drop the person. You remove the blind fold and see you went 50 yards. You surpassed that random number of capability 30 yards and went 50. You tapped into your reserves.

Look, if you only want to go 30 yards that is fine, but if you want to get into the end zone tap into your reserve tank. The best way to do that is with encouragement from a friend. So, find someone who believes in you enough to get you there.

How hot is it?

Sometimes not knowing how hard it is to do a thing is a good thing. I remember one hot summer day. My mom was weeding in the front yard. She told me that as she worked she looked at the people driving by and they were all shaking their heads. They thought she was crazy. Why? Well, it turns out the temperature was 101. Yep! There was my mom working in that triple digit heat. She must have been in her 60s. She told me, “I didn’t know it was that hot.” And not knowing how hot it was, she didn’t think anything about working in the yard. She did not know it was too hot to work. If she had known it was that hot, she might have stayed inside and not accomplish what she accomplished.

Keep going.

It may be tough sometimes, but keep going. Find your reserve tank and forget about the heat.

Coach

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Day 12

Focus.

I think one of the hardest things to do in modern life is to focus. We have so many of our own personal things going on. Plus, there is this enormous amount of information at our finger tips on the internet. That information gives us all sorts of thoughts.

A big change I have made in the last few months is to stop paying so much attention to all those Facebook posts. The information was overwhelming,  a little depressing and most stressful. I just had to cut it way down. Otherwise, I would think about all those things all day.

Sometimes I think we would be happier if we did not have quite so much information. I know people who have cut Facebook completely off as it was too much. I know people who have never been on it. I like seeing what my friends are doing, the cute videos, and such, but I have to keep off the “news”.

The point is that we are constantly being bombarded with information. As someone called it “noise”.

All this noise makes it hard to focus. It is a distraction.

It seems to me that in today’s world we need to learn to think without all that noise. This is why yoga classes and meditation time is growing.

Live in the moment.

I know. You have heard that before. It isn’t easy. We have a long list of things to do. But the best way to get all those things done is focus. Focus on one thing at a time.

Take the first thing on your list. Do it. Focus on that item. Now, move on to the next. When you start a task, don’t think about anything else but finishing that task. Don’t multi-task. Why? Because you lose focus.

Think about long distance runners.

I am not a runner. But I watch runners. If you are one or not, have you ever watched people run? They are so intense. They are so in their own time and place. They are so in the moment or so it seems. They seem to be focused on one thing their run. Now, I could be wrong. They could be thinking about all the other things they have to do that day. But it seems they are focused.

Most athletes seem to be in their zone. They have one task at that moment, and that is all.

Focus.

Improvement.

Perfection.

Finish. 

If we all tackle any “to do list” item the same way, we would really thrive. We would get those things on our list done. They not only would be done they would be done well and efficiently. Providing more time for other things or just relaxing.

So, the challenge for you is to focus on one thing at a time. While you do your activity think about finishing. Don’t think about rushing through though. That is a whole different mind set. No, the idea here is to focus on the task at hand, doing it well, and getting it done, but not rushing. Frankly, if you concentrate on the task at hand and not 100 other things, you will be surprised how quickly you will actually finish.

Cheers!

Coach

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

 

Detachment

Detachment. 

Sometimes we get so involved in a situation we can’t think clearly. If something is particularly stressful, baffling, frustrating, the way to handle it is to step back from it.

Maybe you have to “count to ten”. Maybe you have to take a breath or ten. Maybe you need to take a walk. What ever it is you do to calm down do that. By withdrawing from intense emotional energy, you gain calm energy. And it is calm energy that gives you clear thinking. Things are never as bad once you calm down as they are when you are in the midst of mental breakdown, right? Getting calm brings solution.

Once you detach, the issue has no control over you. You are now in control. When you stand back, you become objective. 

Tip: is to think of it happening to someone else. I do this all the time. When I have a problem or issue and I feel bad, confused, baffled, frustrated, I ask me what would I tell someone else to do? Frankly, it is easier to solve someone else’s problems then your own. Why? Because we have a different perspective. We are not in the midst of the issue. We are on the outside looking in to someone else’s life. You do that all the time. So, do it for you. Look at your life objectively.

What do you want?

In this situation, what do you want? What outcome do you want? How do you want it to end? How do you want it to be resolved? Detach and dream of the ideal outcome. Now, what does it take to have that?

Step by step what do you need to do? The answer is in you. Remember, what would you tell someone else in the same situation, facing the same questions? And if you need help, ask someone. Let someone who is detached help. They can point you in the right direction.

Breathe. It is OK.

Coach

www.facebook.com/lissayliecoach

Day 11

Today is more of a motivator day.

Do this for you. What ever your project or goal is do it for you. Don’t do it for others. Even if others benefit from your actions, do it for you. Do it for the glory of the accomplishment.

Success. People define success in different ways. If you ask people what success is  an answer could be a career. It could be making a certain amount of money. It could be building your own business. It could be raising happy and well adjusted children. who are making a success out of their lives. It could be losing weight. It could be running a marathon.

To me, success is accomplishing what you set out to do. So, it could be any and all of the above.

Measure success in your own terms. Don’t measure it by what others think is successful. We have different dreams. Success is meeting your dreams not someone else’s dreams. Do it for you. 

Allow the change. Do you realize that sometimes people are afraid of having the goal or accomplishment they seek?  Sometimes people don’t feel they deserve that good thing. They don’t deserve to have a good career, able to wear smaller clothes, or to have a mate for life or what ever it is they are seeking.

I know that sounds crazy, but it is true. That may actually be true for you. I know it has been true for me. There have been things I wanted in the past that in my mind I wanted it. But in my heart, I was self-conscious. Would I actually be comfortable with ________?

You are where and how you are in life because it is where you feel comfortable. We sabotage change so often. It may be a subconscious thing, but you do. I highly suggest you take some some and meditate or do self-hypnosis and allow yourself the permission to change. Ask yourself why is this my comfort zone? And then, how can I find the same thing in a new zone?

If you get to that new zone, if you meet your needs on a higher level, how will that feel?

Once again, make small goals. Celebrate the accomplishment of each step. As your check off goals, you get closer and closer to the original big goal. This should help with feeling you are being successful.

As you check off each goal, you get farther out of your comfort zone and more comfortable in the new zone.

OK, now go out there and do it.

Coach

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Day 10

So, a main difference between a life coach and other counselors is the focus. We don’t look into the past unless it is absolutely relevant to the here and now.

We don’t focus on past experiences to determine future experiences. We don’t look back at childhood. We don’t look back at the last 30 or 40 years.

You may have tried to do certain things in the past and did not succeed in accomplishing your goal. Or maybe you started something and did not finish. In the past, you may not have succeeded or finished because you did not understand your motivators. Or maybe something else became a priority. Then, by the time you got back to it, you lost momentum and it was hard to start up again.

We all do that.

Sometimes things are not gong as we had planned. Maybe it is harder than we thought. Maybe it isn’t fun anymore. Maybe we don’t get results and give up.

Here is what I say.

Forget about the past. Start again. Work on improvement. As I said before, you don’t have to do everything all at once. Take baby steps if you have to. Once you get momentum going and some success your enthusiasm and confidence will grow. You will get past your comfortable way of doing things, your old habitual way of meeting your goals, and you will get into your new way of meeting your goals. And before you know it this new habit will feel very comfortable. You will become accustomed to meeting needs on a higher level.

Here is to new habits!

Coach

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Day 9

Good foundation.

No matter what you do you always need a good foundation. You can’t build the second floor of a building until you have the first.

The basics.

In order to have a good foundation in any goal, you need a plan. You need a general outline of the process you are going use to meet your goal. Some people are very detailed oriented. They will be very precise on each step to take. Some people are more general in their thinking. This is good if you want a little wiggle room in the “how”. Just be sure  you have enough detail to not skip some step, and to know where you plan went accordingly and where it got off track.

A fit and healthy outcome.

Just because something looks good on the surface of things doesn’t mean it is solid inside. Don’t put up a facade do make your end result seem better than it actually is. There is some value to “fake it until you make it”. But that will only get you so far. It may get your foot in the door so to speak, but if you can’t back things up with a solid core then things can fall apart in no time. To be successful in what ever you are trying to achieve, make the core of it strong. As the saying goes, “If  you don’t have time to do it a second time, do it right the first time.” The best way to do it right the first time is to have the core healthy and the image of the thing will honestly reflect the fitness of the thing.

The perfect conditions.

More often than not people wait for things to be just right to start a thing. They want all their “ducks in a row.” The thinking is that if they get everything just right then they will be more successful when they launch their new project. But this stops so many people. Because more often than not things are rarely perfect. There is usually something that is not 100% right.

But as much as you want a great foundation and solid core, you really can’t wait for it to be “just right”. Because this is a delay tactic. This is usually fear taking over. Are you really ready to venture out of your comfort zone and put yourself out there with this new project for all the world to see?

I have never seen the conditions to be perfect. Some times are better than others. But perfect is a whole other thing. When you have things about as good as you can, go for it. Learn to adapt. Adapting is a major part of making anything happen. Sometimes you have to the best with what you have at hand.

Don’t wait.

If you really want something, the time is now. Today is the day. There may be some dragging on your part.  You are trying to do something different, and maybe it is hard. It may be scary. It may be uncomfortable because it is new.  These feelings is normal by the way.  Even the most successful people had fear of doing things they had never done before.

But one of the things highly successful have in common is wishing they had started earlier. The first steps you take in this project of yours may very well be hard. There may be hurdles. You may have to do things you don’t want to do because you are unfamiliar with them. But, once you do certain things a few times, it gets easier when your confidence builds up.

The sooner you start, the harder you work, the sooner you will reap the rewards.

Confidence.

Confidence is a funny thing. Some people have more confidence than they maybe should based on their skills and abilities. Some people do not have enough confidence based on their skills and abilities.

Confidence is important to have to try something new and out of your comfort zone. If you need to build up your confidence, here is a trick I use. What are you good at doing? What one thing in your life do you consider you really know your stuff? Well, use the confidence you have doing that to lead you in this new project.  Imagine how you feel when you do that thing you are so good at doing. Now, apply those feelings to your new project. It works. Try it.

OK, that is all for today. I hoped this gave you some positive things to consider.

Cheers!

Coach

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Abilities

Often when people are seeking to change their life they want to change what they do for a living. Sometimes the “what” answer is clear, and “how” is what needs to be figured out. Sometimes  “what” has to be determined first.

Where to start?

Your abilities.

What have you done in the past that had many accomplishments? What do you find rewarding? What fascinates you? What can you do for hours and hours and never tire doing? What is something you never get bored doing? What subject do you want to be an expert? What subject could you talk about with complete enthusiasm? This is where your abilities lie.

When you identify your natural ability, you thrive. You find your unique place in the world. Then the “how” will just take care of itself. All the pieces will fall in place. You will have the enthusiasm to achieve because you will love what you are doing. You will do well because you will be thirsty for knowing more and doing better and better. It will be fun. You will have your whole heart in it, and you will be unstoppable.

Seven questions:

One. What do you love?

Two. What makes you feel important?

Three. What would you like to be excellent doing?

Four. What do you do when you get the most results?

Five. What would make the biggest impact on your life?

Six. What are you excellent at doing?

Seven. What could you do all day long and not tire of it?

Do. that.

Coach

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Day 8

The earned reward is so sweet.

When I take on a project, I like to imagine it in my mind. I imagine how it will go. No matter the challenge I imagine it going smoothly and according to plan. But no matter the planning and ability to do the challenge something can go not according to plan. You can’t plan or imagine every possible snag.

If you are doing something you really enjoy, you won’t mind the occasional snag. Having something not be in reality as you imagined is par for the course. A snag should be a hurdle that you take in stride. You don’t really know how things will go when you are actually doing it.

You may stumble. But when you have made it over all the hurdle,  you have really accomplished something.

I do my own yard work. In the summer it is so hot. I  need a glass of water every 20 or 30 minutes. After a few hours, I am so tired. I feel like giving up sometimes. But I want to get so many tasks done so I push on.

At the end of the day, boy am I ready to relax. I have a nice cold drink. I think  about the accomplishments of the day. I smile. All your muscles seem worn out. But at the same time they are invigorated. It is what you call a good tired. I sit back and enjoy the rest. I earned it.

This is what happens when you accomplish any goal. Sometimes reaching a goal is challenging with hurdles. There are things you have to do that are not really hard, but you may not always be in the mood. But when you make it the feeling of accomplishment is so great. And when you meet the goal, you may be tired, a good tired. You have worked through the tough times and conquered. You can sit back and enjoy the benefits. You earned them.

So, let those end rewards keep you going.

Coach

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