Detox Your Life

Everything must constantly be destroyed in order to be reborn. We must constantly let go of everything we hold on to, in order to flow with the motion of life. 

What’s poisoning you?

UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP(S)

 UNHEALTHY BEHAVIOR

UNHEALTHY THOUGHTS

UNHEALTHY WORDS

UNHEALTHY FEAR

Spring is here! This is a time of renewal. A time of rebirth. Many of us have take a a winter rest. We don’t do so much in our lives during the winter.  But now it is Spring. We clean our houses. We brush off our yard tools. We gear up for outdoor cooking.

How about ourselves?

Spring is a great time to clean up our lives. Most of us have some thing that is unhealthy in our lives.

What’s your poison? 

Something is poisoning you. There is something(s) that is quietly compromising your well-being. Is it relationship issues, thoughts, behaviors?

Remedy.

The answer is to two parts:

First, be honest with you. You need to learn to recognize the hidden dangers in your life. What is bringing you down?

Second, remove the poison by replacing it with  an empowering alternative. You need the alternative or else there will be a missing piece in your life, and you will revert back to your poison.

Is your reality your ultimate reality?

We all do it. We let small things grow. We ignore the small signs that things are not the way they are supposed to be. We sometimes expect that it won’t get worse. Or better yet, the issue will just go away on it’s own. But often we are ignoring something that is bringing us down, little by little. And before you know it, you may be at “rock bottom”. How did that happen?

Hopefully, you have not let your poison get you that far down. But remember that it is only by moving fully into the darkness that we can appreciate the light.

One of my biggest lessons.

When I was 16, my aunt and uncle taught me this lesson. Nearly 40 years (I am not quite that old) later it stills hold meaning and value in my life. Here it is:

If you have a light on in your house all the time, you notice it more at night, when it is dark than when it is light. It is always on, but when the house has the sun light you don’t notice it much if at all.

Understand why you are being poisoned.

Why are you doing that? Even if depression is your poison, you are doing depression you are not being depressed. What are you getting from it? What is the benefit? Yes, there is a benefit.

Now, let it go.

I know. It is hard. You and the poison have had a relationship for at least a little while now. But I keep telling you. It is a habit you made. You can make a new one. I promise. Let go! You control the poison. It does not control you.

This will be both liberating and terrifying at the same time. Don’t worry. You can fill that need with something positive.

Unconditional love.

I mentioned this before, but it want to remind you now. How you feel about you has a lot to do with this. Your poison could very well be what you treat or think about you. If you judge yourself harshly, you feel judged by others. If you hate yourself, you feel hated. If you don’t trust you, you don’t trust others.

Give yourself love. Love yourself as you are. You, just like everyone else, are doing your best with the tools and understanding you have.

Make the best use of what is in your power, and take the rest as it happens.

Happy Spring! Remember: 

Rebirth

Renewal

Lisa Y. Life Coach

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

Your 100 days

Hello~

So, as of April 10th, you have had 100 days to transform according to your December 31st resolutions.

How are they going?

Have you stayed with them?

If you have managed to stick to your resolutions, good for you! If not, don’t feel bad. 45% of people fail to stick to their resolutions after only one month. So, if you have stuck to your resolutions, you are on top of it.

If you have not stuck to your resolutions, do you know why?

Yes, you do, but you don’t know that you do. It isn’t because you lack will power. It is because you don’t know what your motivator is. (That’s where I come in.) You are not consciously aware of your inner drive. When you understand why you do and don’t do things, change is a lot easier.

Do you know that not changing is actually serving a purpose? Yep! It is true. If you have not followed through with your resolutions, it is because you are comfortable meeting your needs the way you are. It is easy to continue to do things the way you are used to doing them.  In your mind, change is hard. How you are doing things is a habit. But, like all habits, you made it and can break it and can make a new habit.

Self-knowledge leads to

self-confidence which leads to

effective self-discipline. 

Knowing what motivates you is really exciting. There are only 4 options. And when you understand what motivates you, you transform from the inside out.

Lisa Y. Life Coach

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

 

Claudia’s Story Part 3

So I saw into the chamber of death, and through the clouds of thick incense, Smedia, lying upon her funeral bier, very white of complete death. Beside her utterly bowed as Salome, and many burning candles and many faces. And then I saw Him, Fulvia. Then I saw Jesus. Scarcely did He seem a man to my first sight, nor yet a person. Tho His face and hands, His very garments, were those of them about Him, rather He as some presence, some undefined feeling as of the very loveliness of love itself.

Suddenly I saw Jairus throw himself upon his knees before Jesus. He cried, “Lord, my daughter is dead. Say but the word and she will be healed.” A shudder ran through my frame; my very soul hung upon his words. Then Jesus took Smedia by the hand and said, “Arise.” Fulvia, she obeyed Him.

She rose. Her eyes opened upon us all. Slowly her face flushed with life. She looked into the eyes of Jesus. Then she threw out her arms and cried: “Why mother!”

I did not know I had fallen upon my knees, but presently I was aware of the trampling crowd. There were shouts about me, but so strangely few of joy, and these alone from the household. More were of hate, and many hissed. I turned desperately every which way to try to get Jesus, but the crowd crushed me down the steep stair, and tided me farther and farther until I sobbed with despair. For now I knew I could not ask Jesus to heal Pilo.

So they pushed me through the shouters of hate, and the Pharisees, who called Him loudly, “Blasphemer, hater of Caesar.”, until I was forced into a little passageway roofed with gourds. And there I heard a cry. It will ring forever in my ears. “mother, mother!”

Through all the multitudes sprang Pilo in my arms. Pilo, erect and firm, without sickness in him. And more, nay more, he dragged no ithered foot. My Pilo leaped, walked, danced, all sound. His feet were lovely as his face. Pilo, my son made whole.

Before I had asked of Jesus He had heard. More than I had asked, He had granted. O Fulvia!

Now I must struggle to write you of what follows. My words are difficult. Beyond Pontius’s pride in Pilo made whole, beyond his love for the boy which sprang new born from out the very cheers of the soldiers, for Pilo was now a very marvel of sport and joy. Pontius must satisfy his own mind, for the heart he reckoned not.

“There is some trickery here.” he said. “This man is but a carpenter and without education, and I am a man of learning. I must search the matter closely before you or yet Pilo may see again this Jesus.”

And into his doubt crept also fear, and, very closely following, his ambition. Herod said unto him: “Beware of this Nazarene. He is dangerous to us. He would make Himself King here. I have information from inside.”

And Pilate wished to be further appointed at Egypt, and would be thought well of by Herod and so by Caesar. We went with Herod that Spring into the deep sea, nor did we return until Paschal time of the Jews was at hand. This famed feast yearly gathered together at Jerusalem numbers from all the tribes of Israel to offer sacrifice.

The day before their feast Pontius said to me: “The fates are against your Jesus of Nazareth. A price has been put upon His head, and before eventide He will be delivered up to the chief priests.”

“But father, you will save Jesus, of course.” When Pilo said this easily, Pontius put the boy away with Mata to the hills, for he would not look into his eyes. Nor would he allow me even converse that day with any outside, but bade me severely to keep to my woman’s court. He looked haggard, desperate with uncertainty.

To be continued on 4/14/17

Lisa Y life coach

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

Claudia’s Story Part 2

Part one post was titled  Letter From the Wife of Pontius Pilate

Now at this time, we had acquaintance with one Jairus, a ruler of the synagog.  When Pontius would argue with him his philosophy I would sit in the women’s court where the fountain is and embroider upon my veils with his wife Salome. They had an only child, Smedia. She had then just reached her twelfth year and was lovely as dawn roses which in all the world grow only in Jerusalem.

When Pontius spread out his hands against the argument of Jairus,  I in my loneliness listened to Salome. First in my court, then many times on her own roof, she whispered to me of one Jesus, a carpenter of Nazareth who walked among these people, healing the sick, curing lepers, making the dumb cry out, the blind to see. And now He had made a lame child leap up whole. A lame child, O Fulvia!

Now others, unbelievers, politicians, the Pharisees themselves, began to talk of this Jesus. Herod told us He had taken a tribute piece from a fish’s mouth, and laughed heartily and so did all. Then they said He raised a man of Bethany from the dead. Now all in Jerusalem rang with this Jesus. But in his discourse was no miracle, only healing of empty cleverness with simple truth.

Salome said He said, “You must become as a little child to know God.” But Pontius forbade us, or any of the household, to approach Jesus, for Pontius was very learned, nor would he wish to become as a child. When once I pleaded he put me by with, “Yes, yes I know, this Jesus has turned water into wine; He multiplied a few loaves and fishes to feed many; He disappeared out of a crowded room, but so the conjurers of the East have done. Let Him show me how it is done so I myself may do these things, and when I do them I may believe. I want truth, not trickery. Hold thyself, Claudia Procula, very high; thou art a Roman’s wife.”

But now I pitied Pontius. He had many cares and a very lean look. His rulings took him often from us, and then he lost his taste for life itself as one who, grown arid among his parchments could not see what was real before himself. Many wise men are so , Fulvia.

Then a strange sickness fell upon us that summer. Its malice gathered with the heat. Particularly it wasted children with a torpor life of death itself. So it numbed my boy. He thinned, whitened, and fell. Even Pontius was roused. He sent runners to Athens, to Alexandria, to Rome itself, for drafts. And the weakness increased. Now the gentle sweetness of my boy was scarcely of Earth. I trembled. Then the child of Jairus and Salome was stricken, and quickly. The night Smedia died the physicians also turned away from my boy’s couch.

Pontius, to meet the end, closeted himself with his Stoics. I was alone with my dying Pilo, and his tutor, Mata, a Greek slave to Pontius. Now Mata pressed a tablet into my hand. It was from Jairus. It said, “Jesus will come to Smedia, even dead. Do tou bring Pilo.” A faint trembling light shot  into my soul. All else had failed. My child’s last breath was almost burned out. Could He, this Jesus,  save my son?

Scarcely knowing it was my own voice, my arms, my substantial self, I followed Mata. He held Pilo very gently and glided softly, swiftly, into the dawn, like a shadow with a shadow. I had not known it but Mata as a follower of Jesus. But when we came to the street of Jairus our chariot could not proceed farther, the crowd was so great.

Mata would not have us known imperially, so I stood heavily veiled as a mourner. Thus I was slowly given passage through the outer wailers and the flute players and the many poor, and those fisherfolk who follow Jesus, and those Pharisees and Scribes who seek the more to trap Him in treason against Caesar.

These would give me no entrance beyond the vestibule, for they wished no witnesses. But O Fulvia, to have gained thus far, and now to fail my chance to ask for Pilo his life of Jesus! Then at the head  of the stairway I saw Jairus. Before the authority of his hand a way opened upward. But when I was at the bedchamber door Jairus quickly withdrew, and I could only wait there, pressed, agonizing.

To be continued on Sunday the 9th.

Lisa Y. Life Coach

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

Best Gift

One of the best gifts I ever received was a bottle of Charlie. I got it for my birthday when I was in college.

Why was this one of the best gifts?

It certainly was not the monetary value. It was not that it was on my wish list. It was not something everyone else had and I was now cool to have it. Nope.

There are two reasons it was such a great gift. First, it was given to me by someone I admired. She was a year ahead of me. She was well rounded. She was both smart and also a sports fan. She was everything I wanted to be.

Second, it was a gift a young women received. This friend of mine gave me a gift that she probably liked for herself. It was a gift that treated me like a woman who was at an age to be serious about men and dating and finding a mate.

This is the key. I was still a little on the tomboy side. Although I liked to dress to be appealing to men, I was not a woman to wear cologne or perfume. But this friend of mine saw something in me that I had not. I was a woman who would wear cologne or perfume.

From then on, I felt woman enough to wear Charlie. Heck, if my mentor gave me  gift she thought suited me, it must be true. I enjoyed it. It made me feel special.

People become what people expect of them. 

When we treat people a certain way, we tell them this is what you are to me. This is what I see. If you treat someone like they are pretty or handsome, they will believe it. If you treat someone like they are smart, they will act smart. If you treat someone like a thief, they will steal. If you treat someone they are a no good drug user, they will be that.

We all need to be encouraged from time to time. We all need to feel smart, attractive, worthwhile. When we are down, we need that to be reinforced by others.

Sometimes friends and family stop seeing your potential.  I have  friend who I think is really smart. She is not book smart, but she is intuitive. She has good sense about her. But for some reason people talk to her as if she is stupid. It drives me nuts. One of the things that makes our friendship special is that I don’t treat her the way others treat her.  She told me, how I listen to her. She said I ask for favors rather than just tell her I need her help. I respect her. I don’t boss her around like others do.

This is what I do as a coach. I don’t look at you the way your friends and family do. At this moment in time, I don’t know you. I have no preconceived ideas about you.  I can see your potential. I can encourage you.

As an empath, I can feel the real you. I can feel the part of you that may be hidden. My college friend did that. She did not know that I did not feel that cologne and perfume were not for me. She gave some to me assuming it was a good gift. And it turns out it was one of the best gifts ever. She saw something in me that I had never seen.

That is what I want to do for you.

I want to either see in you something that you have never seen in you.

Or

I want to say, yes, I see that in you! I see what you see! 

It is a great gift. Please accept it.

Lisa Y. life coach

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

 

Dad’s work

So a few days ago I did a post for moms. Today it is for dads.

I don’t know about you, but I think that the role of dad as nurturer has long been minimized. I think it has a lot to do with how you dads show your nurturing. It isn’t quite as obvious as how moms do it.

My dad did it by encouraging me to make my own decisions. He did it by giving me a part time job. He did it by showing me how to do small home repair things like rewiring outlets. He did it by showing me how to change a tire. He did it by teaching me how to make the perfect martini. He did it by showing me how to barbecue a steak. He did it by encouraging me too learn computers back in 1981 or 1982. (I thought he was nuts. I would never use that computer knowledge). Pop, he told me how to act on a date. He gave me the man’s point of view. He taught me to look people in the eye.

You get the idea.

Dads they are the fun ones. They are the ones that each you to ride a bike. My pop tried to teach me basketball. He tried to teach me tennis. We did play racquetball  He taught me to play pool. He taught me how to fish. He took me for rides on a motorcycle. He used to put me on his shoulders and we would go what seemed to be very far into the ocean. He taught me about rip tides too.

Dads, they see their role as the providers and protectors. But they are so much more.

So, dear dads, thank you for all you do. You can’t fool us. No matter how strong you are, you still nurture your children. You give your children tools for life. You give them direction. But you let them stumble and fall. But you give them a hand up too.

You know, they aren’t perfect. Just remember, they do the best they can.

My pop is in Heaven now. I cry right now missing him. Pop, thank you for being my pop.

Lisa Y. life coach

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

Mom’s work

Are you pushing yourself too hard, mom?

 Children activities, Cleaning children,Cleaning dishes, Cleaning house,

Cooking meals, Feeding pets, Paying Bills,

Shopping for gifts, Shopping for groceries, Shopping for school supplies,

Taking children to Doctor, Work outside the home

Do you need more breaks?

As women it is so easy to fall into a frantic routine. If asked how she does it all, a woman will say, “you do what you have to do.”

Sometimes I wonder ho my mom did it all. She cooked, cleaned, maintained a beautiful home and maintained the yard as well. At one time we had a 3100 square foot home on 3 acres. We also had a pool. We had a variety of dogs and cats. Mom took care of it.

It is all I can manage to take care of a 1300 square foot home, a 65′ by 90′ city lot and two dogs. My house is always needing something. When I hear women say they get bored, I wonder how is that possible?

Do you need more breaks?

As women, we often neglect our own needs. It is hard. By the time we take care of everything else. We are tired. Do you ever sit down and want something and just sit there too tired to move? Some nights I am actually too tired to get up and go to bed. When I finally have the energy to go to bed, I take the dogs out one last time. I give them a going to bed cookie. I grab my things and shuffle to the bedroom. I may or may not have the energy to brush my teeth.

But then, I start thinking. What should I cook for tomorrow’s meals? I make lists in my head. And by 3 in the morning I am sound asleep. I am up at 6:30 and start all over. It takes me a couple of hours to wake up. By 8:30, that lack of sleep is hardly noticeable.

It seems to me that I am more tired than mom was. Maybe she hid it really well.

What to do?

Aside from getting help, remember that you can only do so much. Find some activities and friends to fill some of your time. Get out of your frantic life from time to time. Find at least 30 minutes, an hour is better, just for you. Take a walk. Meditate. Exercise at the gym. Go shopping. Be creative and take up some sort of art project. Play cards. Do nothing. I don’t know, but do something fun. What ever it is you do enjoy the time. No buts. If something does not get done, so what? If, when you go to bed at night, and that one thing did not get done, if it does not matter, then it was fine to not do it, right?

Listen, if you don’t take care of you, who will? If you don’t take time out for you, you will get so worn out that you will close your heart. Keep your heart open and be kind to you. You deserve it. Let the weary rest. If you don’t, you will run out of energy.

OK moms, take care.

Lisa Y. life coach

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

Letter from the wife of Pontius Pilate

* I want this blog to be religion and politically neutral. But this is an exception. Easter is just around the corner and I want to share a story over the next couple of weeks. This is the Easter story as told by Claudia, the wife of Pontius Pilate. 

If you are Christian, I hope you enjoy seeing the story from “the other side”.

If you are not a Christian, this story can still be for you. It is about  a woman and the trials and struggles she has because of her husband’s actions. This can be anyone’s story. Maybe it could be what a woman (or a man) goes through when her husband(or his wife) or child gets addicted to drugs. Maybe it could be what a woman(or man) goes through if her husband(his wife) or child commits a crime. Maybe it could be what a woman(or man) goes through if her(his) spouse gambles away all their money. Or just about any other life changing event occurs in one’s life.

CLAUDIA’S STORY

“I am the wife of the man who condemned Christ Jesus to death!” So wrote Claudia, wife of Pontius Pilate, in this personal letter to her friend, Fulvia, shortly before her husband’s death.

STAND beside Claudia through the trials and loneliness of her early marriage, her entreaties to Pontius, her awareness of Jesus, the verdict, and the final degradation that befell them both.

FEEL the monumental compassion of Claudia for her husband, her son Pilo, and for Jesus. Feel the awesome proportions of fear Pontius had, and the ambition that influenced his fateful decision.

WITNESS though Claudia’s eyes the little known events of the crucifixion of Christ.

THE SEQUENCE:

PROLOGUE “…somewhere, some woman will understand.”

CLAUDIA AND PONTIUS “…for I seek truth, the truth of life!”

PILO “…my son had a withered foot!”

CLAUDIA’S LONELINESS “..my husband judged not the ache in my heart.”

JESUS “…and Salome whispered to me of a carpenter of Nazareth.”

THE PLAGUE “A strange sickness fell upon us that summer.”

THE HEALINGS “…Before I had asked of Jesus, He had heard!”

PILATE’S INDECISION “I must search the matter further…”

CLAUDIA’S DREAM “…and there were those who had been healed in heart and mind, as well as body.”

THE TRIBUNAL “Who is friend to this man is no friend of Caesar!”

CLAUDIA’S PLEA “Have no part in His death!”

THE VERDICT “What shall I do with this man?”

RETRIBUTION “Pilate sees in me the witness to his crime…”

EPILOGUE “Ye who pray, pray now for Pontius!”

PREFACE

“When he was set down upon the judgement seat, his wife sent unto him saying have nothing to do with that just man for I have have suffered many things this day in a dream because of Him” Matthew 27:19

This brief appearance of Pilate’s wife in the Bible has given rise to much theological study, and the development of a number of traditions concerning her. She had already become a convert to the new faith. She is honored as a Saint by the Greek Orthodox Church who have set aside October 27 as her feast day. The Copts too have canonized Claudia and honor her on June 25. In any case, her immortality is based on the fact that she had the courage to testify to Jesus’ righteousness and innocence  at the time of His trial and approaching crucifixion.

 Records of the letter have appeared throughout the centuries. For instance, Madame deMaintenon, during the reign of Louis XIV, had the letter read every Good Friday before the court assembled at Versailles. In some of the older communities of Europe, its reading follows the washing of the feet of the poor on Good Friday. A copy of the letter was found among the personal papers of the late Czarina of Russia.

 In the early part of the last century, it was rediscovered in a monestary at Burges by Catherine Van Dyke who translated it into English.

Claudia’s Story

You ask me, dear and faithful friend, for an account of some of the rumors which have already reached you concerning Pontius and myself, and you appear frightened at the mystery by which we are enveloped. Read this, my scroll, and give to me at least an understanding. For, O Fulvia, I am the wife of the man who condemned Christ Jesus to death.

Even here in his little Gallic mountain town where Pontius and I have been driven, he by remorse, and the scorn of Rome as well as that of Jerusalem. If even here children slink away from us and women draw their veils closer, let me believe that somewhere some woman will understand, even as she the mother of Jesus would have understood.

But first remember my childhood in Narbonne. You will recall that I had scarcely completed my fifteenth year when I was betrothed to Pontius, then holding an honorable position in Illyria. I had never seen Pontius before my marriage feast, nor did I know any love, nor how that flame may burn within the human breast. Pontius somewhat praised my beauty, and I know he esteemed my wealth, for he was ambitious. Love he held a weakness fit only for women, for Pontius was a philosopher.

Altho the flute players pleaded all night before my bridal chamber, they did not know I lay alone, for Pontius had me put from him, saying, “I seek truth, the truth of life.” Often he would rise from his library, closeted with his scribes, and poise against the dawn and my empty arms, the question, “What is truth?” Thus five years passed before I became wife enough to be a mother. Then I lived a new life in the rapture of my child.

But, Fulvia, only love can beget love and its perfect image. My son, Pilo, so beautiful, so bright in his smile that the very slaves looked up when he passed, my son had a withered foot. But soon he learned to walk with a very little crutch. Pontius was divided between his chagrin in a son who could not be a soldier and pride that he yet had an heir to his name as old as Rome itself.

Now ambition stirred in him the politician. Caesar’s favor named him Consul of Judea, a step toward Egypt. Thus we came to Jerusalem. None of all the vast lands that paid tribute to Rome was more beautiful than these purple hills folding back into yellow sands. Roses and scented myrtle trailed to every rooftop, while the palms, lovelier even than those at Delos, waved above gnarled gray olive trees, or groves of oranges or those scarlet pomegranates of which their Solomon had sung.

Above all, even above our Roman courts, towered the mighty temple of Jerusalem, its sacrificial smoke smudging the sky. But all the flattering pomps and pageantries of our coming mocked us. The Hebrews detested us and our court of “idolatrous pagans”, as they styled my countrymen. These Jews were a turbulent people, and very heady. Their thousand sects were united only in their hate of Rome.

Some few believed the time had come to pass for a Messiah to appear who would make himself king and overthrow our own power. In this way we felt them very secretly abetted by Herod, not for any treason, but that he had a cousin who would supplant Pontius. Herod held his right most because he was a fisherman, and Caesar, too was a fisherman. And they wrote one to the other about their fishing. Now we were apportioned part of the palace of  Herod and were much beholden to him. If Herod drew upon himself the scorn of those Sadducees he sought most to please with his dancing girls and wine feasts, Pontius too was hated by the Pharisees with whom he would wrangle for truth.

Austere and very just in his judgments here, yet my husband judged not the ache in my heart, nor turned to me then as to a faithful servant. Had it not been for my boy, Pilo, I would have died of loneliness in Jerusalem, even in all the dazzling circumstance with which Rome upheld our court. My boy became my love, my life. Withered tho his foot was, he was brave, and threw away his crutch early and endured without any protest all the torments of the pullers and straighteners Pontius brought increasingly for more and more he looked to our son.

…to be continued next post April 7.

Lisa Y. Life Coach

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoch

5 to thrive

Hey~

How are you today?

To be a happy and fulfilled person we need 5 things:

TOUCH

NURTURING

CONNECTION

PERMANENCE

REASSURANCE

How are you doing on this list? If any of these things are missing, you need to find a way to get that void filled.

If you need help with that, maybe I can help you find the answer.

And if not in your immediate circle, I can fill all of those except touch, unless you live in my city.

Cheers!

Lisa Y. Life Coach

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach