Greetings~
So, you may have heard this story or some version of it before. Maybe this is the first time you are seeing it. Either way, I wanted to share it today. This is the holiday season. It is a time to reflect on the truly important things in life.
The Wooden Bowl
A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter in law, and 4 year old grandson. The old man’s hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered.
The family ate together at the table. But the elderly grandfather’s shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon to the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.
The son and daughter in law became irritated with the mess. “We must do something about father” said the son. “I’ve had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor.
So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, the grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. Since the grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl.
When the family glanced in the grandfather’s direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.
The 4 year old watched in silence.
One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked his child sweetly, “What are you making?” Just as sweetly the boy responded, “Oh I am making a little bowl for you and mama to eat your food when I grow up.” The 4 year old smiled and went back to work.
The words struck with the parents that they were speechless. Then the tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.
That evening the husband took the grandfather’s hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.
Caring for children
What strikes me about this story is that if a baby or a young child did the same things as the grandfather, the parents would have been more tolerant. Young children make all sorts of messes while eating. Parents just accept this as how they are, and simply clean up the mess.
So, why is it different taking care of the elderly? Why do we get frustrated helping and taking care of them?
Caring for the elderly
I know how hard it can be to take care of an elderly parent. It can take a lot of patience. But it takes a lot of patience to take care of a young child. So, what is the difference?
But when you love someone, it is what you do. They took care of us. We need to return the favor.
Remember, they won’t live forever. When they pass on, they are so missed. In this story, when the grandfather died, you better believe that they missed his messes. When they are gone, you want to be able to say that you did everything possible to make their final days as filled with happiness, joy, pleasure, and comfort as you possibly could.
Advice: make recordings of their voices before they go. And do it before they get really sick say like after a stroke. You want to remember their voice.
My very special mom died on Thanksgiving Day in 2009 after deteriorating health from a stroke 13 months earlier. I miss her so much every day. I miss her voice.
If you are taking care of an elderly person and seek support from someone who understands, you know where to find me.
Lisa Y coaching
www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach