Month: September 2016

Men’s guide to women (for men only)

Hello~

This is for men only.

My general guide to understanding women

Umm…

That’s about it. Any questions?

One at a time.

You know more than you think

All joking aside, you really understand women better than you think. No you really do. You just have not sorted it out. You know the women in your life. You know what they do and do not like. You know what upsets them. You know what makes them laugh. You know what makes them cry. You know what makes them happy.

In case you have not noticed, not all women are the same. But having a good relationship with the various women in your life, wife, sister, mother, and coworkers for example, is simply about knowing them as a person. It means paying attention. Women are notorious for giving a lot of hints. I know, you men would prefer to have us come right out and tell you what we are thinking. But, what would be the fun in that? We do that so that you “figure it out on your own”.  Ha! Ha! Ha! Sorry, that is not very nice of me.

Need more help?

So, men, if you need a little help understanding the women in your life, let me know. I will see what I can do. We can figure it out together. OK.

If you want help, leave a message. www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

Yeah!

Smile for me.

Lisa Y coaching

Cheese stands alone

Hey~

I hope all is well with you today.

Cheese stands alone

You are familiar with the “Farmer in the Dell” song, right? The farmer takes a wife, the wife a child. the child a nurse, the nurse a dog, the dog a cat, the cat a rat, and the rat the cheese. And the cheese has no one to take. The cheese has no one to interact with them. Are you like the cheese? Are you alone? Do you have no one to interact with you or do people who call you friend, but they are not really there for you?

Good news!

You don’t have to be alone. You can always have a friend in me. If you need someone with whom you can interact, I will always be there for you. You and I can interact on a daily basis if that is what you need.

Better news!

I have been through a lot of things too. So, I can relate to just about anything. I am not like a lot of other people who counsel. A lot of other people who counsel act as if they are better than everyone else. You won’t feel that way with me.

Best News!

I have time for you. If you feel like the cheese, all alone, don’t Don’t be alone. I will be there for you. Frankly, one good listener and supporter is better than 100 fake friends.

If you would like more information, please message me.

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

Yeah!

Smile for me!

Lisa Y coaching

mindfulness lesson 8

Hey~

How are you? How has your mindfulness been going? Let me know. I would love to hear from you. www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

Breath awareness exercise

In case you have not noticed, being aware of your breathe is key to mindfulness and meditation. Here is a good method for watching your breath.

If you recall in lesson 7, I talked a little about the mechanics of proper breathing. Remember? It is abdominal breathing, using the diaphragm. Recall that you imagine breathing through your belly button. If you lie down, you can get a better feel for the process. So, lie down. Comfy?

Place your hands on your belly. Take in a breath. As you breathe in, notice how the stomach rises? Now when you get to be about 2/3 of the way through your breath your stomach will lower. What is happening? When you breathe in properly, the air fills the lower parts of the lungs first. The diaphragm pushes down on the stomach causing it to rise. After the upper lungs have filled with air, the chest pushes out and the stomach lowers. As you breathe, think of the air starting to enter your body at your belly button and then having the nose take over about 2/3 of the way.

The breathing exercise

To do this exercise lie quietly. Don’t use a pillow, and have your arms relaxed at your side. Take a natural breath. As you exhale, count. How many seconds does it take to exhale? Count a few times to get a standard number. Now, try to extend the exhale another 1 or 2 counts. So, if your exhale is say 4, try to exhale for a count of 6. This will help you to empty more air out of your lungs. When you finish exhaling say to the count of 6, pause for 1 count before inhaling. This allows the lungs to fill with air on their own. Can you feel it? Inhalation usually shorter. Count your inhalation and now try to extend that also. Just relax and quietly breathe for a few moments. Aim to do this for say 20 breaths. Relaxing, isn’t it? That’s it!

Easy does it

 Just don’ too breathe too hard. Your breathing should be relaxed and steady. Don’t try to force your stomach out. Just let your body do what comes naturally. It should not be noisy either. Don’t breathe so hard that you hear the air enter your nose. Breathing should be quiet, relaxed and steady.

Unless you have sinus congestion, your breathing should be so quiet that it is not heard by someone next to you.

Advanced level 

So, you have mastered the above exercise. Now, you want to take it to the next level. Do this same exercise in your every day activities. Working on your computer, watching television, walking, at the gym, cleaning your home, any time. If you practice this while walking, you can make a game of it. Six steps to inhale and six steps to exhale.

Control your breath, control your mind and body

Breathing should be a graceful and peaceful thing to do. It is a peaceful thing to do. When you are stressed, stop and follow your breath for 20 counts. You will feel more in control. If you are excited, stop and sit. Your breathing more than likely will be rapid. So, take a few breaths to slow it down. Get the inhale and exhale to be even. Be aware of your body. Feel the motions of your body as you breathe. Think to yourself, I am breathing in. I am breathing out.

Another breath awareness exercise

Breathe in for 1 count. Exhale for 1 count. Inhale for 2 counts. Exhale for 2 counts. Continue through inhaling 10 counts and exhaling 10 counts. Now return down to 1 count in and 1 count out. This exercise takes more awareness. You may lose count. If you do, start again at 1.

Mastering your breath

When you master following the count of your breaths, you have made a big step in mindfulness. Your breath will automatically be very calm and steady. Your inhales and exhales will naturally be even. At this point, you will not need to count any more.

When you master your breathing, you control your consciousness. When things get out of control, catch your breath and you control your environment. With control over your breath you also develop your concentration.

Practice

Practice. And let me know how you are doing. www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

Yeah!

Smile for me!

Lisa Y coaching

We are Magic

“Magic”by Olivia Newton John

Come take my hand
You should know me
I’ve always been in your mind
You know that I’ll be kind
I’ll be guiding you

Building your dream
Has to start now
There’s no other road to take
You won’t make a mistake
I’ll be guiding you

You have to believe we are magic
Nothin’ can stand in our way
You have to believe we are magic
Don’t let your aim ever stray
And if all your hopes survive
Your destiny will arrive
I’ll bring all your dreams alive
For you

From where I stand
You are home free
The planets align so rare
There’s promise in the air
And I’m guiding you

Through every turn I’ll be near you
I’ll come anytime you call
I’ll catch you when you fall
I’ll be guiding you

You have to believe we are magic
Nothin’ can stand in our way
You have to believe we are magic
Don’t let your aim ever stray
And if all your hopes survive
Your destiny will arrive
I’ll bring all your dreams alive
For you

How can I help you?
www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

Mindfulness lesson 7

Hello~

How are you today? Good I hope. So, here is lesson 7.

Fall

So, it is not exactly Fall yet, but it is close enough. I really love Summer, but Fall brings back memories of childhood. First of all it is back to school time. Then we have Halloween. When I was a child, we lived across the street from an apricot orchard. We kids loved to play in there. When I take a walk this time of year, with the crispness in the air, I go back to those days. As I practice mindfulness on the walk, I feel young again. After a walk in the Fall air, I feel so refreshed.

In this busy world, we don’t generally have the opportunity to take a walk in an orchard, on the beach, along a river or on a mountain top. Most of us take a walk around the neighborhood or downtown perhaps. With the sound of traffic, it can be challenging to put the outside world out of mind and find it relaxing. It isn’t  just noise either is it? There is the smell of food cooking. There are kids on skateboards and bicycles. There are all sorts of distractions. But with practice, you can learn to put most of the distractions out of your mind by watching your breath. Pay attention to your breathing. I am breathing in. I am breathing out.

If you have a friend or coworker who would join you on the walk, it can help. But you must both keep silent. The idea is to be mindful of your walking buddy instead of the traffic and distractions you encounter. It is always easier to learn a new skill with a buddy. You can talk (after) about your success and challenges as well.

Walking with distractions is good for you

Although we would all love to be able to walk along a quiet beach, in the forest, or even in a park, walking along a noisy street is good practice. Why? Well, in order to get great at mindfulness, we need to learn to do it under all circumstances.

One of the important things to do when training a dog is to do it with distractions. It is one thing to train your dog in the privacy of your quiet yard. But often it is challenging to get your dog to do what you ask when you are out in public. When out in public, your dog has millions of wonderful scents to check out. There are other dogs. There are cats. There are other people. A dog is only well trained if it responds to your commands with all these distractions.

As it is with dogs, it takes true mastery of mindfulness to remain silent, focused and aware with distractions. So, when you are limited to walking in and about town, take pleasure in the opportunity to practice mindfulness among all the distractions.

How is your mindfulness going?

I would like to know how you are doing with this new skill. Leave me a message. www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

Yeah!

Lisa Y coaching

Mindfulness lesson 6

Hey there~

How are you today? I took yesterday off. Did you miss me? *smile* So, have you been practicing your mindfulness? Good.

Path and Destination

Mindfulness has two faces. It is at the same time the path and the destination. Mindfulness is the path toward the ability to build up awareness and concentration. Mindfulness is also the the destination of a life of awareness. Mindfulness releases forgetfulness and to live fully. The more you practice mindfulness the more mindfulness you have.

Are you breathing?

Your breath is your life. Breath is what keeps you alive. It is so essential and yet it is something of which we are generally unaware. Most people usually only notice it when we have a hard time breathing. When we become winded or congested and it is difficult to breathe, that is when breathing is noticeable.

Have you ever heard a fitness instructor say “don’t forget to breathe”? Some people think that is a silly thing to say. But when you become aware of your breathing, you will notice there are times when we hold our breath. Doing weight lifting is one of those times. Fitness trainers are well aware of this, and so they remind people to breathe. When we get excited, and we have something to tell others, we often talk a lot without taking a breath. Have you ever told someone something, and had them interrupt you with “take a breath”? I have.

When people get nervous or excited, or do some challenging task, (like weight lifting) they sometimes hold their breath. What happens is that your brain becomes scattered. You are not concentrating. Taking a breath actually centers the mind. If you follow your breath, you will actually do better than if you don’t hold it.

Proper breathing

The key to proper breathing is using the diaphragm. When you breathe using the diaphragm, you increase your energy as you improve the oxygenation of the blood. The diaphragm is an energy mobilizer. Improved movement of the diaphragm through applied kinesiology improves the meridians which in turn improves energy flow.

How to breathe properly for the maximum benefits is easy. As we inhale, the diaphragm contracts. This enlarges the thoracic cavity helping the lungs fill with oxygen. As the diaphragm relaxes, we exhale forcing the carbon dioxide out of the lungs.

Ideal breathing is abdominal breathing. The focus is on the belly button and not the chest. When you breathe properly, your belly will rise more than your chest. Test your breathing. Take a few slow, deep breaths. Concentrate on letting your abdomen expand fully with the incoming air. You may want to visualize that the air is actually coming in through your belly button and not your nose. Your belly should rise and fall about an inch with each breath.

With proper breathing, you will become more relaxed, reduce blood pressure and your heart rate, and deliver more oxygen to your body tissues.

How to mind your breath

Take in a fairly long breath. Feel your lungs expand. Now exhale being sure to get all the air out. Now wait a few seconds before you take your next breath. You will notice air coming in without taking a breath. Did you notice? Now do this for a few breaths. Be aware.

I am breathing in. I am breathing out. I am breathing in. I am breathing out. I feel my lungs and rib cage expanding. Imagine the air circulating throughout your entire body. Can you feel it? When you breath properly, your entire upper body should move.

That’s all for today.

Take time to mind your breath a few times a day. It is a good habit.

Tell me how you are doing. www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

Yeah!

Lisa Y coaching

Dryer Safety

Hey~

How are you?

Today I want to talk about dryer safety.

Special Features

Clothes dryers have come a long way. Today they have a lot of features. The drum rotates this way then it reverses. They may continue to move the drum every once in a while in case you forget. They sense dampness, have steam cycles, and wrinkle guard settings and more. Me I am not that particular about my clothes. As long as they come out clean and dry, that is all I care about. But if you care about these things, your first move is to read the manual. Otherwise, you may not get the most out of your new dryer or old dryer if you have yet to read the manual.

Clothes tags

So, I used to work in the dry cleaning industry. I know how important following the labels can be. The best way to wash and dry the garment is listed on the label. It will tell you at what setting your dryer should be set. How warm could be very important. Is it delicate? The right setting can make a big difference. It can keep your clothes from shrinking and wrinkling.

Shove it

I know what it is to use the laundry mat down the road. You try to get the most out of each load. Am I right? But if you do your laundry at a laundry mat or at home, don’t just shove everything and anything together. If you care about your clothes, you want to wash and dry like items together. If you have too many things in a dryer, it is harder to get them dry. A dryer should not be more than half full. And you may not want to dry delicate things with not so delicate things otherwise you may do damage to the delicate things. Some clothes need to be dried at one temperature and some at another. Shoving them all together could ruin some things.

Pockets, zippers, drawstrings

OK, you should have done this before you washed the clothes. But check the pockets. That is one of the top rules we had in the dry cleaning industry. After reading the label to be sure the garment could be dry cleaned, we checked the pockets. You don’t want to leave anything in the pockets. Although people don’t use pen and paper much anymore, you don’t want it being washed, And if you find money, it’s yours. Think it as a tip. You did just have to search through someone’s pockets after all. During cold and flu season, you may find some snot rags. Ugh! I know right, but it happens. If you have children, who knows what you may find. Crayons, lip gloss, erasers, glue, who knows what you will find, but you don’t want it going through the system. One more thing is to zip up zippers to keep the teeth from snagging and tie drawstrings together to keep from getting knotted or lost or drawn into the garment and you have to fish them out.

Lint trap, brush and vent

OK, so you should know the dangers of not removing the lint, right? I clean my lint trap after every use. I have two dogs. I almost need to do this in the middle of drying a load. In other words, I have a lot of dog fur in my lint trap. But in addition to cleaning the lint trap you really should invest in a lint brush. How does a lint brush work? Well, a  lint brush is a long, thin, and flexible brush. You remove the lint trap, and use the lint brush to remove any lint that got past the trap. And finally the lint vent. If this gets clogged up, your airflow will be blocked and the dryer will not be working at top efficiency. This can be cleaned by you with a vacuum or you may want to hire a professional. It should be done every 6-12 months depending on your laundry and how many loads you do. The more you use your dryer, the more often it should be done.

Dryer sheets

Dryer sheets can make your clothes nice. But they also create a chemical coating on your lint screen and on the moisture sensors in the drum. The moisture sensors are the two metal bar strips in the drum. Just use a little soap and a towel to wipe them off from time to time. And for that lint screen, wash it with some mild dish soap. Make sure to get it dried before returning it to the dryer.

Dust bunnies

One final thing for dryer maintenance and safety. You don’t want lint or dust to get into the dryer. Any lint or dust around the dryer can get in as the dryer pulls in the surrounding air. So, make sure you clean around the dryer from time to time to keep it clean.

Did you learn anything?

So, most of this stuff is rather basic. You may not have learned anything new. But sometimes we don’t think about these things, and it is good to be reminded from time to time.

I would love to hear from you. If you appreciated this, let me know. Thanks. www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

Yeah!

Lisa Y coaching

Mindfulness lesson 5

Good day!

I hope all is well for you.  Today’s lesson is sitting quietly.

Buddhahood

When one thinks of meditation, often Buddha comes to mind. We have all seen the Buddha statue of Buddha in his mediation lotus position.

In meditation, as with anything, posture is key. Sit upright. The goal is to create thought. It is said that praying is talking to God, and meditation is listening to God.  But we can get in the state of mind. If you sit and meditate, you will get enlightenment and join the Buddhahood those who gain enlightenment.

Bodhi spot

So, the Bodhi spot is where Buddha obtained enlightenment. We can’t all go to this spot. It is far away for one thing. We live busy lives. But we can find a nice quiet place to sit  and tune out the world for a while. find peace of mind, find a bit of happiness, and listen to God whatever that means to you.

Mindfulness in every day situations

To me, it would be ideal to live a very simple life. I think society in general has made this world a lot more complicated than it needs to be. But, that is the world in which we live.  We have so much to do. We have work, home projects, yard work, house work, the kids have to go here and there. It is enough to make your head spin. Just when you think you have it all under control something happens. Am I right? You may be wondering with all this going on how can I take time to meditate. My question is how can you not? Now I admit, I love meditation. I like it more than most. If I could make money meditating, I would be rich.

Meditation, mindfulness actually helps you to get through all those other every day things. Remember, meditation is all about being alert. When you live in mindfulness, you are aware and focused. You are more capable of handling anything that comes your way better than with out it.

With meditation, you have better judgement. You are more calm. You are more self-controlled. Put that all together and you have good results in all actions that you take. You take things one at a time. You are not trying to resolve several issues at once. When you do that, you handle it right the first time. You don’t have to waste time doing anything again to get it done right. You will be in control of your world instead of the world being in control of you.

Be whole

We are pulled in so many directions. Does it ever feel to you that you are falling apart? Well. with meditation, you become whole again. When your mind is focused, your entire being is focused. When one meditates, your mind brings everything back to center. You feel whole again.

Baby Steps

Do you remember learning how to walk? I do. I can remember my mom placing me on  my feet and my dad, crouched down saying, “come to papa”. I also remember thinking how hard this walking thing was. I was probably only trying to walk 8-10 feet. But it seemed a lot farther. But I also remember the sense of accomplishment I had when I made it to papa.

This is how it is with meditation. If you try to meditate like Buddha, you are going to be very frustrated. Buddha was a master. If you try to be enlightened right away, you will get discouraged. So, take baby steps. Just start by sitting quietly. You don’t have to sit in the lotus position either if that is too hard. But do sit up straight and have good posture. Now, just close your eyes and relax. Don’t think about anything. You may want to set a timer. That way you can keep meditating without wondering about how long you have been sitting there. I suggest you start with 10 minutes. That may not sound like much, but it takes time to work up to 20 or 30 minutes.

Just sit there. Don’t think about anything. If a thought comes into your head, acknowledge it and let it go. Now, what do you notice? Unless you are in a sound proof room, you will hear something. You may hear cars. You may hear birds. You may hear an airplane. Maybe you can hear children playing. What do you feel? Can you feel a breeze? Can you feel the sun? What is your body doing? Sense your breath. Sense your rib cage expanding, your lungs. We take breathing for granted we rarely think about the mechanics of it. How about your muscles? Are they relaxed or tense? If you feel tension, let it go. Did your shoulders just fall a little? How about your jaw? Now, are there any smells? Are you baking something? How about the neighbors? Do they have something cooking, a BBQ perhaps? And just about now, your 10 minutes are probably up. That was not so bad now was it?

You did it!

You just meditated.

I really want to help people to become mindful. Let me know how you are doing. I could really use the feedback. Thanks!

Remember, these are just the first steps. We will get deeper and deeper as time goes on.

Take Care!

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

Lisa Y coaching.

mindfulness lesson 4

Welcome back!

Keeping your consciousness alive

When you are new to mindfulness, it is challenging to keep from getting distracted. In this world, most people can only keep their mind on one thing for only a few moments. Until it truly becomes a habit, you will slip up often. It does take a lot of effort to keep in the moment.

You need to keep reminding yourself of that which you want to be aware. Until it becomes a habit, you can’t just once think I am doing this activity and stay aware. This thought needs to be repeated regularly. But you don’t want to repeat it like a machine. You are not a robot. Instead, you want to think of each action of the activity you are doing.

Let us imagine that you are eating. Your thoughts would be something like this. I have the fork in my hand. I have the knife in my hand. I am cutting the meat. I am putting the knife down. I am taking a bite. Now, remember, smile while you are thinking these things as if you a playing a game. Pretend you have a secret and no one knows what you are thinking, and they would want to know. This will keep it fun. Fill the activity with wonder and joy. Open your heart.

Life is a blessing

Think about how special it is just to be alive. It is a blessing. Look around you. Everything is a blessing. If you can eat and feed yourself, that is a blessing. If you can walk, talk, or dress yourself, that is a blessing. So no matter what it is you are doing, while practicing mindfulness, just thinking about how blessed you are should put a smile on your face.

I would love to hear about your experiences. www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

Yeah!

Smile for me!

Lisa Y coaching

Right voice VS annoying voice

Hey~

Annoying voice

So, I get inspired by the world around me. Any big brother fans? Anyone? Well, one of the reasons so many people don’t like certain house guests is because of their voices.  One voice was very high pitched and she sounded like a little girl. One voice well, she whines.

I have heard people with high pitched voices say they can not help it. That is just how they talk. But I am here to tell you that is just not true.

Your voice matters

Why does it matter? Well, people find certain voices annoying. If people are annoyed by your voice, they stop listening. If you whine, you sound like a nag. And if you sound like a child, it is hard to think of you as an adult. And so, you have a harder time being taken seriously.

This problem seems to be more of a problem women have. But there are some men who have an annoying voice. What to do?

Right Voice

You need to find your “right voice”. Well, it is simple. Say the word I. Again. Good. Now, the funny thing is we say the word I in our right voice. Yep! I don’t know if this is self-importance or what,  but it is true. It is also your right voice because this also works when you say the word right. So, if you want to be in your right voice all you have to do is warm up by saying I. Now, keep your vocal cords right there. Don’t lower your voice and talk out of the bottom of your throat. Don’t raise your voice and talk out of your nose.

Just like anything else this is a habit you can easily make. Before you know it, you will speak in the right voice.

Talk to me

If you found your right voice, or if you helped someone find their right voice, let me know. I would love to hear from you.

www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach

Smile for me!

Yeah!

Lisa Y coaching