Hello~
So, let’s get right to it.
Today’s topic is Migraine Headaches.
I had a time in my life when I had headaches all the time. Some times I had your every day headaches. At times, I had cluster headaches. Then I had bad headaches. I don’t know if they were migraine headaches or not, but I know when I had them I wanted to sit in a dark, quiet place until they went away.
As I have been telling you, everything we experience fills a certain need. The need being met is as individual as you are. But headaches, migraines have a pretty common function.
Do you want to stop having migraines?
I have to stop right here and say I am not a medical doctor. There may be a medical reason you have headaches, and you should be examined by a doctor if you think your terrible headache is caused by a medical problem such as a brain tumor.
Now, as LisaY. life coach, here is my perspective of migraines.
For starters, let me say this: Headaches, all headaches from small to extra large are from the conflict between control/comfort and pain.
There is a need being met.
Often we seek to have pleasure to avoid pain. This is the need for comfort. So, it seems reasonable to believe that migraines, which provide great pain are doing the opposite. Migraines fill the need for uncertainty. You have pain instead of comfort.
Why would you do that?
Pain stops work. It is an excuse not to work. When you have a migraine, you are certainly not going to work or do what activity you are trying to avoid. The migraine is a vehicle to give you a break from that thing that causes you pain. Does that make sense?
People who get migraines.
Let us look into the typical person who gets migraines. They are often sensitive. They feel the pain of the world. They bond/connect with the world. They have a desire to rescue the world. They focus on others. They work to help others with their problems.
They are so dedicated to human kind. They often are perfectionists. Perfection is security/comfort/control. They want to do a great job. They do not want to let people down. They don’t want to make mistakes.
Over controlled individuals.
These good people end up being over controlled by someone or something. This someone or something has complete power over them. What happens when you lose control? You lose security. You feel inferior. This leads to frustration and anger. When this happens, they lose comfort. What is the opposite of comfort? Pain
Conflict between control/comfort and pain.
Headache brings control, the control others do not have over you. Migraines break the bond/oneness with others. Now, you no longer are focused on others. You are focused on your own needs. There is certainty in pain. It has a familiar feeling. You may say it is comforting in an odd sort of way. Pain creates uncertainty. How bad? How long? Remember, uncertainty is the opposite of control. So, pain is an escape from being over controlled. It also provides a vehicle to alone time. Does that make sense?
The victim.
So, first migraine sufferers are rescuers. But then they are the opposite. They become the victim. They are the victim of pain, and need to be rescued. You feel terrible, and want people to feel bad for you too. Admit it. We all feel that way when we have a headache. It is fine to feel that way. We all need to feel loved. After all that love they give to the world, this pain is a way to get others to show love and affection to you.
The habit.
Once you get in the habit of migraines, it is hard to break. But like all habits once it no longer meets the need, you will quit the habit.
Empowering Alternative
What need does the migraine meet? Uncertainty. But, losing the vehicle of migraines is uncertainty. Yes, it is the need you want. So, it is reasonable to want to lose the migraines to get what you want, but at a higher level. Make sense?
Uncertain you can stop them? The problem with rescuers is that they don’t know how to take care of themselves, but this is what you need to do. Put focus on your self and your needs. See your own pain. Being so over controlled you are bottled up with frustration. You have bottled up emotions… pain of world, anger over loss of control, inferiority of being under control of someone/something else. As a rescuer, you probably also have guilt for not being there for people when you have a migraine and take time away from the world. Lose the guilt. You don’t have to rescue the world.
Right now you use migraines to release all of that bottled up energy. You need a better release. Options include sports, exercise and hobbies. Take a walk. Ride a bike. Write in a journal. Go bowling. Knit. Swim. Practice Tai Chi or Yoga. Meditate. Let others rescue you. Get a massage or talk it out with a good friend.
Take Care!
Lisa Y. life coach
If I can be of any assistance, let me know.
www.facebook.com/lisaylifecoach or www.lisaycoaching.com
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