When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life. –John Lennon

The answer to your happiness is within you. The feelings you have are human and normal but you are the determining factor of how long you’re going to stay in a funk and state of depression. It is up to you to say:

– I’m not only going to mourn the loss but I will rejoice in the happy memories– I will always love you and I’m going to be sad and miss you dearly but we had a blast and I choose to remember the great times we shared.

– dating is to figure out if someone is right for me, it does not mean that they are bad, they just don’t meet my expectations– I’m happy we broke up before I spent a lifetime of unhappiness.

– I love my child and I have hopes and dreams for them but they have to find their way in life and I can’t connect their life journey to my happiness.

It has been said so often that happiness is a choice. The reason most people are not happy is because of their resistance to that belief. Life is tough and challenging for everyone, filled with hurt, pain and disappointment regardless of what your status is– money cannot even buy you happiness. Money may buy you an easier way of living and way to escape your pain from time to time. Money cannot help you through the loss a loved one, the breakup from your “true love”, or the shame and disappointments in life. It cannot help you work through your issues of an absentee parent or your children making poor choices in their life.

Some people live through their children to find happiness and get disappointed when their children’s idea of happiness does not match their idea of happiness. You want you spouse or partner to make you happy. You look towards your friends to make you happy. You EXPECT your family to be in your corner and make you happy. Their purpose is to be supportive, loving and truthful when you need them and sometimes they are caught up in their own stuff that they cannot be there exactly when you need them.

Everyone has a specific purpose in life. It is up to you to figure out what that means for you. “I don’t know how” is not an answer nor is it an option. You are not a martyr– you are here to fulfill your part in this journey called life. You must do your part. You must not sit idle and be miserable for the remainder of your days or hold others responsible for your recovery. You have to set timelines for everything. That does not mean that you forget, it simply means that you decide to not let life challenges define you or take over your mind and soul with negativity.

Have a relationship with yourself so that you can learn how to make yourself laugh and learn how to cheer yourself up and everyone else will truly be a bonus– then you will really be happy. As always, the choice is yours.

Jamillah Foulkes~Empower U