I do not know exactly how many of you are doing my ‘dating your partner consistently’ four week challenge, however here is part two to help you along the way. Also, if you have any questions about the challenge or you are feeling discouraged because change is not happening fast enough remember it’s four weeks for a reason and you can inbox me your questions or concerns. So here it is, you have to learn how to be bi-lingual. I’m not talking about love languages, I will address that in another post. I’m talking about things that are said and how they are received.

For example, someone says “I need time to figure out …..” And you hear “you need space?”, “you don’t want to be with me anymore” or another translation “you have someone else on the side?”… And then the argument begins. This is true for all types of relationships, you may say something and all hell breaks loose because what you said does not match what the other person heard and vice versa.

Becoming bi-lingual is very hard to do because it take time, effort, practice and patience for everyone involved. Someone’s background, previous relationship or life experiences can cause huge communication issues on both sides. As with all things effective communication is required. I know the guys are saying “more talking?”, but it is not about more talking, it’s gaining understanding of the person you are communicating with and is absolutely important in order to get through this issue. Everyone has to be willing to repeat in a calm manner what they heard someone say in order to get clarity BEFORE they blow up on them. It may not even be a negative thing. You may think you heard someone was say that they were going to do something nice then it blows up because you are disappointed when it doesn’t happen.

This is not for all conversations but if you find your arguments sounding like, “but you said…. To me” and it’s a lot of back and forth about what was or was not said, then it’s time to put this into action. You both have to come to an agreement that if something is said that bothers you or if you have an expectation of someone, then you speak up to get clarification. As you begin to do this you will find that you do eventually become bi-lingual because you learn how the other person speaks or articulates their feelings then you no longer have to ask them what they meant.

Relationships have been ruined due to lack of understanding exactly what the other was saying. People go years without speaking to each other just because of what they thought they heard someone say to them or about them. Empower yourself and others not to talk more but to become effective communicators.