We are halfway through the ‘dating your partner consistently challenge’. Part four is about setting timelines to track progress. In today’s world everything happens fast and we expect changes to happen immediately after we say them but that is not how it works in relationships. If you are in a committed relationship with someone that is not abusing you and communicates that they are actively working on positive change for themselves and the relationship then you have to allow time for growth. Habits are harder to change the older we get but remember you cannot change people that are not willing to change themselves.

Along with communication there needs to be some form of action. There should be timelines not to be confused with ultimatums. Once you give an ultimatum then you have to stick with it or you become a bluffer and will not be taken seriously, Timelines are used to track progress. For example if marriage is your goal and your partner states they need certain things to happen before they propose then you can track your progress using a timeline. If you both reach those goals then they come up with new ones or you are the only one working towards the goals then you can see that they are stalling and it may be time to move on, especially if you are going into year three or four of dating. In addition, you can say ‘I give us six months to work on our issues’, you can use the timeline to track your progress but you both have to agree to the terms whether there is counseling, a life coach there should be a mutual agreement on how each person will actively work on making changes in the relationship.

If you ever get the chance to run across a couple that have been together for thirty plus years, ask them how they managed to stay together that long? They alway say communication, commitment and compromise. They do not compromise their values or morals but they choose which battles are worth the fight and they always stress communication is the key and commitment is the foundation.

I look at couple relationships almost the same as sibling relationships, one minute you are fighting and ready to knock each other out, the next minute you are playing together as if nothing happened. You have to decide what works for you and the good times should always outweigh the bad. If you set a timeline it will help you to see if the relationship is headed in the right direction or if there is something as a couple the you need to work on.

Empower yourself and your partner and be accountable for your actions.