There are two impacting moments in life when you find out who your true friends, family and supporters are:
– when you are going through hard times
– when you are experiencing great moments in your life
The most obvious moment is when there is no support when you need it. If you are the one that is not there for others but expect others to be there for you or complain when others are not there, then you need to do some self reflection and recognize that within yourself. However if you have been a true friend and supporter to others and at your time of need and they are not there then that should be a wake up call for you. All relationships are not perfect but there should be some kind of balance. It does not have to be financial support because everyone is trying to find their way but you can offer emotional or spiritual support. This can be confusing because you can say that certain people are there for you when times are hard. There are questions that you need to ask yourself.
– How are they contributing to your situation?
– Are they there to empower you to get through the hard times by uplifting you to do better and make better decisions or are do they bring more negativity and make you feel worse then when you started the conversation?
– Are they your ‘hype man’ that makes your situation worse or are they guiding you without bias to be the best you possible?
The second moment is when you are doing well and the people that you expect to be there to give you affirmation and recognize your hard work and accomplishments are not there. That is another way to know who is really in your corner. Some people only show up when times are hard because “misery loves company” it’s up to you to figure out what their motives are. People may not realize that you need them through the good times as well as the bad so you need to communicate that to them. Others may feel they are in your corner but then start to feel a certain way when you are actually doing well. They need to work through their own issues but you have to find strength to weed out the people that are known as ‘haters’.
It is very hard to know how to handle relationships but I have found that it is better to have quality people surrounding me rather than quantity. It is not necessary to stop socializing with everyone you just need to understand the limitations of that relationship. If you value the quality of your relationships than there can be that handful of people that are in your corner and you will be satisfied.