Love is a powerful word that is thrown around very often and it dilutes the meaning. This is part three of the ‘dating your partner consistently challenge’. Do not love things or people that do not or cannot love you back. It’s easy to say I love my partner or spouse and that works when everything is good. It is normal to not like the action that someone is doing at a particular moment however love is a commitment that is made to another that should not waiver especially during the most trying of times when you are needed the most.

You do not love someone in just a month of knowing them. You do not have love for your partner or spouse unless you have gone through life experiences when you had to show up for someone and they show up for you during the lowest times in life. This is why affairs do not work, once the real need for commitment shows itself the “love” wears off. Being with someone when the butterflies are there and the excitement of the newness is strong quickly disappears when the real life issues start to surface like the bills, kids if you have any and what I like to call the other unflattering moments.

Love is work and commitment just like a career. Everyone has to put their all into the relationship for it to last. You put your all into love with the intent that you will receive care, empathy and adoration in return. It’s the security you have to know when one person is down the other is up. You may not be your best sometimes but the other person is there to help you and carry your weight. It’s a team effort and it should be equal and unconditional. You should talk about your priorities and be able to address them as they may change during your life journey. Everyone should be able to communicate about their expectations, religion, politics, sex, family and finances at a minimum. The main thing that absolutely has to be there is trust and respect.

We are all human and make mistakes so love will hurt sometimes but the solace is in knowing that someone has your back even on your bad days and it should be a two way street. If it is truly love you will first, love yourself enough to know how you expect and deserve to be treated, then you have to be willing to give love, lastly you have to be open to receiving and accepting love.

You will know that love is real when you look around and see who is there to support you, encourage you, hold you, listen to you free of judgement and not expect anything from you during your lowest moments, and that takes time.