What happens when you are in a relationship with someone and you don’t ever feel appreciated? No matter what you do, you are just never good enough or at least that is the impression you get. Men and women have the same need to feel appreciated it just shows itself in different ways.

I look at my life with my husband and my family, and no matter who you are, we all have those moments of feeling unappreciated. I thought about the work I do as a life coach and the clients I have helped along the way. Have I felt appreciated in my life’s work?

We tend to feel like people should just know what you have done and affirm you. That is not always the case. In my own experiences, I had to realize that if I did something from my heart and gave it my all, the fact that I made a difference in someone’s life should be my reward and eventually it will come back to me. Sara Paddison said “Appreciation is hidden power from the heart.” That may work for me but if your love language are words of affirmation then you need to hear words like, gratitude, awareness, generosity, admiration, appreciate, because they equal feelings of love and appreciation.

It is not selfish to want another person to appreciate, value, or desire you, no matter how you might feel about yourself at the moment. You have to learn to communicate your needs to people so they can understand the value those words have with you. As long as you let them know in a kind way then there is not much more you can do, especially if you gave from your heart. You can choose to continue to do things for those who will not do for you, or not. If it’s a work situation and your boss shows no appreciation, it’s still good to let them know how you are contributing to the workplace in case they been too busy to realize, especially for raises and promotions.

In the end, be honest and kind. The biggest thing is if someone does offer appreciation and words of kindness to you, don’t question it. Embrace it.